Hetero Privilege

Heterosexual Privilege


By Linda Ketner


In 1989, Peggy McIntosh wrote an article, "White Privilege," dealing with the unacknowledged privileges of being white. Her view was that among Caucasians, there were many special and unearned assets that accrued because of their skin color -- assets that could be counted on each day, but about which white people remained largely oblivious.


Her premise intrigued me and I began thinking about heterosexuals and the many unearned assets and advantages accorded them based on their sexual orientation. Having "passed" for heterosexual for many years before "coming out," I knew firsthand.


Heterosexual privilege, like white privilege, seems to operate largely unconsciously, with no malice. There are everyday ways in which heterosexual people enjoy unearned privilege without even recognizing their advantages.


Below you'll find an abbreviated list of some daily effects of heterosexual privilege -- advantages that attach somewhat more to sexual orientation then to skin color, class, religion, or geographical locations.


If I am a Heterosexual:


1. I can go into a music store and find the language of my sexual orientation represented in the lyrics.


2. Television and movies reflect my relationships in widely diverse and nonstereotypical ways.


3. My children are given texts and information at school that validates my sexual orientation.


4. Society encourages me to marry and celebrates my commitment.


5. As a responsible and loving parent, I won't lose my children in a custody battle because of my sexual orientation.


6. I can easily buy postcards, books, greeting cards, and magazines featuring relationships like mine.


7. I don't have to worry about being fired or denied housing because of my sexual orientation.


8. I can be sure that if my spouse is in the hospital and incapacities, I can visit and will be consulted about any decisions that need to be made.


9. Insurance provided by my employer covers my spouse and my children.


10. Hand holding with my love is seen as acceptable and endearing.


11. I can serve my country in the military without lying or keeping silent about my family.


12. I can keep pictures of my loved one on my desk at work without fear or reprisal.


13. I will receive all of my deceased spouse's estate, tax-free.


14. I never need to change pronouns when describing the events of my life in order to protect my job, my family, or my friendships.


15. If I'm a teenager, I can enjoy dating, first loves, and all the social approval of learning to love appropriately.


16. If I'm called to work with children or to serve God (in most denominations). I don't have to violate my integrity and lie in order to keep my job.


17. As a responsible and loving adult, I can adopt without lying about my sexual orientation.


18. I feel welcomed and accepted in my church.


19. I can be certain that my children won't be harassed because of my sexual orientation.


20. I can count on my community of friends, strangers, and institutions to celebrate my love and my family, mourn my losses, and support my relationships.


Certainly, none of the "privileges" listed for heterosexuals should be denied to the holders. Expectations that neighbors will be decent to you and that your sexual orientation will not cost you your job, your children, or your life should be the norm in any principled society.


Having spent a great deal of my life fighting for the rights of other groups, in 1994, I "came out" as a lesbian and began advocating for the rights of "my" group. Coming out is an important part of the process of eliminating heterosexual privilege, because typically there is a complicity of silence between gay people and straight friends, coworkers, or family. Some know that we're gay, but we tacitly agree not to talk about it. As more of us begin to tell the truth of discrimination and let people see inside our lives, hopefully the response will not be sympathy, but new allies in our struggle for social justice and civil rights.


I believe that more heterosexuals would not choose to be entitled, but they are simply unaware of the preferential treatment they receive and the more than on thousand discriminatory laws that are aimed at homosexuals. Bringing the injustices to consciousness is the first step in correcting these violations of core American values. What will you do with such knowledge? What personal acts of courage are you willing to commit in the name of justice?