So within the last 24 hours, I was handed the largest frakking God Moment I've ever received in my life! And while it showed me so much of myself that I was unaware of and that even disgusted me, I'm not angry. I feel blessed to have that light shown on a very dark place that I didn't know about or didn't want to know about. All, thus far, that I can figure is that in trying so very hard not to be my father and the example he was and his family is that I started becoming that.
And yeah, I am a dark macabre person, I enjoy the things that more people avoid or fear. But that is one type of Dark. The Darkness that was (and possibly still is) trying to fill me is one I won't stand for and one that is a type of Darkness that is Evil and evil for its own sake. A Darkness that scares even me. I saw what that all did once and I made a vow to not be a source of it. I've partially broken that vow, but not completely.
There's much work to be done, a lot of soul searching and dark valleys and night to get through, but it will be done. I will come out better and stronger for it. I've got to watch my reactions and behaviors, augment where it all needs it and do a reset and restore when drek needs to be gotten rid of.
And in all this...all I can ever do if offer the biggest, most sincere apologies to those I've hurt and scared off. When your blind to you, it's hard to see goovna for what it really is. And while I'm paranoid enough, I'm sure that my paranoia will affect how I see the relations around me and how they've changed in the last 2 years. So I'll need people to be tactlessly honest with me for a while. All I ask is that you please do not take advantage of me right now for your own agendas.
See...paranoia!
Sunday, December 11, 2011
Saturday, October 22, 2011
Lyrics from The B-52s!
What? So it's not my normal blog post. Frak off, this is my blog and I'll do what I want! Mwa-hahaha
Later...
Friday, October 14, 2011
Ant Hill Mountain
My recent blog post has caused exactly what I thought it would. To call out a spade for being a spade, the person I blogged about is the twin of my Hubby. He cut off my Hubby for 10 years because he thinks I owe him an apology for making a comment, in August of 2009 on my long dead MySpace blog, about how I though it would be hot to be with twins. This was after The Hubby had been contacted by his twin after 30 years of separation. Innocent enough, so I thought.
Well apparently The Twin thinks differently. Here's the thing, I'd apologize wholeheartedly if it was truly an issue. Here's why I think this...it's been over 2 years! Why is this such an issue now? Why didn't you ask for an apology in September of 2009 when you came for a weekend visit or at Thanksgiving of the same year? I think it's because he wants to use an issue with me to control The Hubby and/or get me irate to play me off as unstable to then use me to get The Hubby to do what he wants. I say this because of some comments he left me for my previous post but more so because he demanded an apology from me so much that when I said no (for the moment, I felt that he should speak to me directly about it first and made that clear), he de-friended and blocked The Hubby on Facebook directly after saying he'll not speak to him until October of 2021. Yeah, totally broke off that line of communication, but all lines of it because he can't speak to me about an issue that he's had ample opportunity to do so. He wants the apology in writing and officially stamped! Yeah, not playing that game. More so to the point of if I do this now, what demands will be made of me later? And it wasn't that big an issue, he made it one. This stupidity has spiraled out of control and he lays the blame at my feet!
Example? Here:
Thanks to you , I will never ever talk , see , or visit my Twin Brother for the rest of His natural life . Thank you for killing off dead any possible relationship I will ever have with him . I hate you with the coldest furies of hell . Timothy is dead to me now .
Thank you . You Shitfuckcunt, I hope you are happy now .
You wanted a " Hater " , so i gave you a "Hater" .
Why is it i play your game way better then you do ? You Blog this as Theraputic Catharsim .
I AM older then you , smarter then you , sneakyer then you , a WAY better actor , And Evil . I will hurt you , and you will love me for it .
The Twin played his role perfectly . Hat's off to the Twin . Well done .
Erick , you have just been "Played" . Yes , you believed everything I Im'ed The Twin , because he believed it , thus convinced you .
And you fell for it.
You are a duesche .
If you believe everything I ever said about Hateing you and everthing I convinced you to believe , it shows you are VERY weak minded .
You want drama , i gave you drama. You are welcome .
The joke is on you for not questioning everthing .
Lesson is , there is no such thing as truth . If The Twin used the 4 principles i taught him , my sharade would have never passed the smell test .
People make people believe things and make them have an emotional response , forceing a specific action to get a specific resault.
Thus I played you .
You are easy .
You have just been Snark Bitten you Shitfuckcunt ...
Call me Sat afternoon and I will tell you how I pulled this off .
Best way to convince someone of a lie is to believe in your own shit , and not betray that belief , untill the operation id over ... And this lesson is over .
Glad to provide "Enrichment" and material for your blog you ideot ...
Maybe I can make this easy and clear , after some careful thought , I do love my brother very much .I promiss not to talk about you to him . I just want a relationship with my brother, not with you . I dont know you , if you can understand , and I would like some privacy with him . I feel , in my time I am getting reaquainted with him , that you are impossing ( superimposing ) yourself between us , and that confuses me greatly . I will respect you and your relationship with your Hubby , just let me have my relationship with my brother , without your intefearing between us . I dont have a relationship with the sisters boyfriend , so I dont see why i need to have to prove myself to you . I really dont hate you , except to play the role of "hater" for your blog , and your welcome for it . I just want to get to know and love my brother without you getting between us . I dont interfear with you and your biological family , i have no reason to , nor the time to do that , nor reason to do so ,or motive even , so please respect me by not interfearing with mine please . I.E. , the brother .
Ill meet you there , maybe that is why im mean to you and trying to separate the Bother Element , from the your Husband Element , it confuses me for the time being .
When the brother and I have sufficiently bonded when he feels he comprehends and understands me first , i might let you in after , i feel you are forceing and presureing us by being paranoid and protective . You dont need to do that .
I will respect you , just respect my wishes in return . And a note , I dont use the phone hardly at all , and when I feel wierd , i dont talk to anybody one the phone , its not you .
So I'm gonna break this down a bit...
First and foremost, blaming me because you wanted to play games isn't how people deal with situations. Hate for me is like water on my back, it rolls right off. I just don't care, sorry to disappoint. As far as wanting a hater? I never wanted that, I don't like people (in general) enough to care, but when someone stalks me and leaves comments under multiple names, then I take notice and will start talking about it. Like now! I mean, dude, come on! What wool over my eyes did you try and pull when it was so transparent? Hell, you could be playing a game now to get an apology from me or to get your jollies or to keep me playing a guessing game. I question everything everyone does or says. Trust no one, that's how I live my life.
As for playing my game (which one?) better than me, being smarter (maybe, depends on the subject) than me more evil (doubt it) than me or sneakier (again, maybe) than me? Kind sir, every blog about a hater or stalker that had you in mind was carefully crafted to suit the game you tried to pull on me. You can't bulldrek a bulldrekker, one of the few good lessons I ever got from my Father. I treat people how they treat me, Prime Directive of Erick. I can read people pretty well and usually have them categorized within a few minutes. As for believing everything you've IM'd both The Hubby and I? Sure, consistency can breed belief. But everything from you has been taken with more than a few grains of salt. I took all you've ever said and asked for more because I wanted to see how far you could take it and how much drek you could spout and if you'd run out. Congrats! It's gone too far, you can spout a lot and you are bottomless.
I wrote about you and what you wrote in the hope of you coming clean about it so then you, I and The Hubby could move past it. But then it didn't happen and the snowball became an avalanche. So fault is there for me to a point, I'll give you that. However, it's gotten to the here and now where you've cut off your brother due to your blame of me and your view of me and your admitted hate of me.
While I don't have patience in large abundance, I can use what I have. And also, admitting you played both of us, or attempted to, says plenty about what you think of us. Frankly, for me I could care less. However, to do so to your own twin? That's totally uncalled for. What that tells me is that you have no respect or care for him if you are willing to treat him as a tool to get to me in one form or another because you want to play a game and whatnot.
And I loathe drama. It killed a 13 year friendship and has wrecked plenty of good times in my life. Sure, I've let my anger lead me more than I should have most times, but that's no excuse either. If I want drama, I'll rent a movie or watch Project Runway. And my dear, if there's no such thing as truth, then why do you keep perpetuating that as if it where a truth? To go with that, why demand an apology if you say that you don't exist? If you don't exist than there's nothing to apologize for because you aren't real. Imaginary things can't be hurt or insulted or make demands. Just my opinion.
Frankly, if I am imposing or have imposed, than I offer my apologies. That was never an intent of mine. What you must understand is how hard I fought to find you FOR him. He missed you and I could see how not having you in his life hurt him. Then, magickally (thank you Facebook!), you found him! I was, and am, full of relief and thrilled for the both of you! I've pushed The Hubby to try and have a relationship with his family and you, to get beyond the history that's there. Stuff that happened after you left. It is up to him, I know that. I'm afraid that he'll just let it slip away out of habit. So if I've pushed too much, or when and where I shouldn't have, then I am sorry. I believe that family is everything and that everyone deserves to know the joy that family can bring.
And as for trying to interfere and impose on me and my biological family? In all seriousness, that would be entertaining! No sarcasm meant or intended, it's just that I could see members of my family eating anyone trying to do that alive. You think I'm crazy? You ain't met the kinfolk! Trust me, meet them and all will be explained in regards to me!!
And sure, I feel you should prove yourself to me. Not for me or my personal approval or benefit but to make sure you won't hurt The Hubby. I've sworn to protect him and do so impeccably. He's been hurt enough in his life that I want to ensure that it stops at me and not in his face or at the point of stomping on his heart. I love him beyond words so I want to keep him safe and happy. I owe it to him.
You want me out of the way? Fine, I'll do it. But to torture and abuse (perceived) him by playing games in regards to me or playing people for amusement is where I draw the line and will interfere for his benefit. As I've said before, got an issue with me? Bring it to me and my doorstep. That builds respect, general and mutual, between people. I am and have been willing to be on a cool and understanding level with you. While you don't think that you should have a relationship with me, I can't say that that's how things tend to work. OK, you don't have a relationship with your sisters' man. But I have a relationship with her and her kids. We hit it off well the first time we met. I've kinda held out hope that the same thing could have happened between us. But that seems to not be the case and so be it.
So the deal is that we got issues and beef with the other. Cool, it happens. I'll step back if you get back in touch with your brother. He doesn't deserve the perceived abuse that's being unleashed on him. Once communication between the two of you is back open, I'm out. If that's what you really want, cool, I'll consent.
Well apparently The Twin thinks differently. Here's the thing, I'd apologize wholeheartedly if it was truly an issue. Here's why I think this...it's been over 2 years! Why is this such an issue now? Why didn't you ask for an apology in September of 2009 when you came for a weekend visit or at Thanksgiving of the same year? I think it's because he wants to use an issue with me to control The Hubby and/or get me irate to play me off as unstable to then use me to get The Hubby to do what he wants. I say this because of some comments he left me for my previous post but more so because he demanded an apology from me so much that when I said no (for the moment, I felt that he should speak to me directly about it first and made that clear), he de-friended and blocked The Hubby on Facebook directly after saying he'll not speak to him until October of 2021. Yeah, totally broke off that line of communication, but all lines of it because he can't speak to me about an issue that he's had ample opportunity to do so. He wants the apology in writing and officially stamped! Yeah, not playing that game. More so to the point of if I do this now, what demands will be made of me later? And it wasn't that big an issue, he made it one. This stupidity has spiraled out of control and he lays the blame at my feet!
Example? Here:
Thanks to you , I will never ever talk , see , or visit my Twin Brother for the rest of His natural life . Thank you for killing off dead any possible relationship I will ever have with him . I hate you with the coldest furies of hell . Timothy is dead to me now .
Thank you . You Shitfuckcunt, I hope you are happy now .
You wanted a " Hater " , so i gave you a "Hater" .
Why is it i play your game way better then you do ? You Blog this as Theraputic Catharsim .
I AM older then you , smarter then you , sneakyer then you , a WAY better actor , And Evil . I will hurt you , and you will love me for it .
The Twin played his role perfectly . Hat's off to the Twin . Well done .
Erick , you have just been "Played" . Yes , you believed everything I Im'ed The Twin , because he believed it , thus convinced you .
And you fell for it.
You are a duesche .
If you believe everything I ever said about Hateing you and everthing I convinced you to believe , it shows you are VERY weak minded .
You want drama , i gave you drama. You are welcome .
The joke is on you for not questioning everthing .
Lesson is , there is no such thing as truth . If The Twin used the 4 principles i taught him , my sharade would have never passed the smell test .
People make people believe things and make them have an emotional response , forceing a specific action to get a specific resault.
Thus I played you .
You are easy .
You have just been Snark Bitten you Shitfuckcunt ...
Call me Sat afternoon and I will tell you how I pulled this off .
Best way to convince someone of a lie is to believe in your own shit , and not betray that belief , untill the operation id over ... And this lesson is over .
Glad to provide "Enrichment" and material for your blog you ideot ...
Maybe I can make this easy and clear , after some careful thought , I do love my brother very much .I promiss not to talk about you to him . I just want a relationship with my brother, not with you . I dont know you , if you can understand , and I would like some privacy with him . I feel , in my time I am getting reaquainted with him , that you are impossing ( superimposing ) yourself between us , and that confuses me greatly . I will respect you and your relationship with your Hubby , just let me have my relationship with my brother , without your intefearing between us . I dont have a relationship with the sisters boyfriend , so I dont see why i need to have to prove myself to you . I really dont hate you , except to play the role of "hater" for your blog , and your welcome for it . I just want to get to know and love my brother without you getting between us . I dont interfear with you and your biological family , i have no reason to , nor the time to do that , nor reason to do so ,or motive even , so please respect me by not interfearing with mine please . I.E. , the brother .
Ill meet you there , maybe that is why im mean to you and trying to separate the Bother Element , from the your Husband Element , it confuses me for the time being .
When the brother and I have sufficiently bonded when he feels he comprehends and understands me first , i might let you in after , i feel you are forceing and presureing us by being paranoid and protective . You dont need to do that .
I will respect you , just respect my wishes in return . And a note , I dont use the phone hardly at all , and when I feel wierd , i dont talk to anybody one the phone , its not you .
So I'm gonna break this down a bit...
First and foremost, blaming me because you wanted to play games isn't how people deal with situations. Hate for me is like water on my back, it rolls right off. I just don't care, sorry to disappoint. As far as wanting a hater? I never wanted that, I don't like people (in general) enough to care, but when someone stalks me and leaves comments under multiple names, then I take notice and will start talking about it. Like now! I mean, dude, come on! What wool over my eyes did you try and pull when it was so transparent? Hell, you could be playing a game now to get an apology from me or to get your jollies or to keep me playing a guessing game. I question everything everyone does or says. Trust no one, that's how I live my life.
As for playing my game (which one?) better than me, being smarter (maybe, depends on the subject) than me more evil (doubt it) than me or sneakier (again, maybe) than me? Kind sir, every blog about a hater or stalker that had you in mind was carefully crafted to suit the game you tried to pull on me. You can't bulldrek a bulldrekker, one of the few good lessons I ever got from my Father. I treat people how they treat me, Prime Directive of Erick. I can read people pretty well and usually have them categorized within a few minutes. As for believing everything you've IM'd both The Hubby and I? Sure, consistency can breed belief. But everything from you has been taken with more than a few grains of salt. I took all you've ever said and asked for more because I wanted to see how far you could take it and how much drek you could spout and if you'd run out. Congrats! It's gone too far, you can spout a lot and you are bottomless.
I wrote about you and what you wrote in the hope of you coming clean about it so then you, I and The Hubby could move past it. But then it didn't happen and the snowball became an avalanche. So fault is there for me to a point, I'll give you that. However, it's gotten to the here and now where you've cut off your brother due to your blame of me and your view of me and your admitted hate of me.
While I don't have patience in large abundance, I can use what I have. And also, admitting you played both of us, or attempted to, says plenty about what you think of us. Frankly, for me I could care less. However, to do so to your own twin? That's totally uncalled for. What that tells me is that you have no respect or care for him if you are willing to treat him as a tool to get to me in one form or another because you want to play a game and whatnot.
And I loathe drama. It killed a 13 year friendship and has wrecked plenty of good times in my life. Sure, I've let my anger lead me more than I should have most times, but that's no excuse either. If I want drama, I'll rent a movie or watch Project Runway. And my dear, if there's no such thing as truth, then why do you keep perpetuating that as if it where a truth? To go with that, why demand an apology if you say that you don't exist? If you don't exist than there's nothing to apologize for because you aren't real. Imaginary things can't be hurt or insulted or make demands. Just my opinion.
Frankly, if I am imposing or have imposed, than I offer my apologies. That was never an intent of mine. What you must understand is how hard I fought to find you FOR him. He missed you and I could see how not having you in his life hurt him. Then, magickally (thank you Facebook!), you found him! I was, and am, full of relief and thrilled for the both of you! I've pushed The Hubby to try and have a relationship with his family and you, to get beyond the history that's there. Stuff that happened after you left. It is up to him, I know that. I'm afraid that he'll just let it slip away out of habit. So if I've pushed too much, or when and where I shouldn't have, then I am sorry. I believe that family is everything and that everyone deserves to know the joy that family can bring.
And as for trying to interfere and impose on me and my biological family? In all seriousness, that would be entertaining! No sarcasm meant or intended, it's just that I could see members of my family eating anyone trying to do that alive. You think I'm crazy? You ain't met the kinfolk! Trust me, meet them and all will be explained in regards to me!!
And sure, I feel you should prove yourself to me. Not for me or my personal approval or benefit but to make sure you won't hurt The Hubby. I've sworn to protect him and do so impeccably. He's been hurt enough in his life that I want to ensure that it stops at me and not in his face or at the point of stomping on his heart. I love him beyond words so I want to keep him safe and happy. I owe it to him.
You want me out of the way? Fine, I'll do it. But to torture and abuse (perceived) him by playing games in regards to me or playing people for amusement is where I draw the line and will interfere for his benefit. As I've said before, got an issue with me? Bring it to me and my doorstep. That builds respect, general and mutual, between people. I am and have been willing to be on a cool and understanding level with you. While you don't think that you should have a relationship with me, I can't say that that's how things tend to work. OK, you don't have a relationship with your sisters' man. But I have a relationship with her and her kids. We hit it off well the first time we met. I've kinda held out hope that the same thing could have happened between us. But that seems to not be the case and so be it.
So the deal is that we got issues and beef with the other. Cool, it happens. I'll step back if you get back in touch with your brother. He doesn't deserve the perceived abuse that's being unleashed on him. Once communication between the two of you is back open, I'm out. If that's what you really want, cool, I'll consent.
Sunday, October 9, 2011
The frakking bulldrek as of late
OK, so Zen space and all is great for me, but I gotta get some goovna off my chest!
First and foremost is to you Fair Weather Christians who only use your "beliefs" when it suits you or your arguments. I was privy to a conversation/debate on politics a couple weekends ago. One of the people has a history of using Jesus, God and their religion to back up their political points. When countered by the opposing person with the same tactic, they (rather predictably when I look back at it all) said that it was besides the point! At the time, I was in shock over it. I do not understand how "God fearing" Christians can sit and spout crap about Jesus in relation to politics yet can not take the same frakkin' way they dish it! You are a Fair Weather Christian when you do that! You are not a follower of Jesus! Jesus was the original Socialist and hippie, but Gods forbid any "God fearing" Christian ever follow the rules of caring for the sick, give your money to the poor and help others without putting yourself first! Hell, if going by rules, I'm more of a Christian than most examples of modern Christians! And I'm a frakking Pagan!!!
Next time I have to listen to the blathering blatherskite of this hypocrite, I'm gonna have to point this out. I can't stand people who use their "Lord and Savior" as a tool for their own hate and fear. Either follow the teachings of Jesus all the way or not at all, it isn't a pick and choose situation!
Next is to the frakking goovnayuk mandavoshka who had the nerve to tell me I am racist cuz I call people "ghetto" and am White! First off, you as a Latin do not have the right to sit there and tell me I'm racist towards Black people if I use that word to describe a set of behaviors, attitudes/mindsets and/or actions that is prevalent in the Black Community. It isn't racist, cuz let's fact it, I'm "ghetto" to a point. "Ghetto-lite" as it where. Being "ghetto" isn't localized to a color of skin, community or culture. It's a set of behaviors, attitudes/mindsets and/or actions that has been adopted world wide because it's been glorified! "Ghetto" may be a place, but it is also a term to describe how some people act. Learn that, deal with it.
You don't like it? Fine, that's you. But do not sit your PC, nose-in-the-air ass in front of a computer and tell me I'm racist because I call someone "ghetto". Hell, I was pissed at people for being irate at 'Transformers: Revenge of The Fallen' due to The Twins and how they acted. If you don't like the glorified "ghetto-ness" being parodied, then maybe you shouldn't glorify such behavior. Just my opinion. Frakkin' deal with it you shitfuckcunts.
And I loathe the Race Card being pulled. People who do that have no other way to argue with you so they label you a racist to shut you up. I don't do down in a fight like that. Either learn how to argue your point or just SHUT THE FRAK UP!
And that brings me to a subject I've actually avoided talking about...kinda. This ties in with former posts about haters. Look, from August 2010 til about June of this year (2011) I had one hazmana of a personal trial to get through. I spoke of former friends and family issues. But here lately, thanks in part to Zen Space, I've come to forgive the former friends. I think of them everyday and miss them. Thirteen years worth of a friendship will do that. But I've gotten myself to the point that I forgive them. It doesn't mean I wanna be around 'em, but I can let go of the drama they caused. It's their Karma to deal with at some point and I'm fine with that.
As far as my paternal family? I ain't there yet. Getting there, but it's gonna take a while. More so because I think that not calling me about my Grandmother passing was unforgivable. And mind you, this was on top of them not telling me that my Great-Grandmother had passed either! Yet, I do need to forgive them. For me, not them.
Finally, there's the touchy subject of a stalker/hater of mine. This coward is the best entertainment ever! Not only can this person not even speak to me like a mature person, but has the nerve to go to someone and complain about me, things I've supposedly done or not done and demand apologies from me for drek I was unaware of!
I will not apologize for anything I've supposedly done, or not done, until you have the backbone to come and speak to me like a mature member of society! No going through someone who you know will tell me about it, or let me read the IM's. I know you read this and I know what gets said about me. So here it is, your chance. I'm bringing my game, what about you? And let me kindly remind you that I have made attempts to have a dialogue with you. Oh, you don't remember or think so? How about I publish the e-mails? Or recount the talks we did have before you, yes you, de-friended me on Facebook (twice) and blocked/banned me recently.
I've made attempts, in a very civil manner I might add, to have some sort of understanding with you. However, you do not want it to happen. You've attempted to break-up me and my Hubby, have accused me of abusing him on multiple occasions while claiming I'm suicidal and depressed beyond reason and also that I hold him back on a professional level. I find it sad, yet funny, that you assume a great deal about me without talking with me. Not to me or at me or around me, but with me.
You don't know me and I really don't know you. However, considering the person we have in common, I'm am willing to come to an understanding. Not for you, me or us. But for him. If your not, then I'm sorry. I'm sorry what your actions and inactions will do to your relationship with the common person in our lives. I'm sorry that I'd rather stay in St. Louis than move across half the country for a job I'd be stressed out and worrying about how you'd sabotage me and my job stability. It wouldn't be worth it. And it wouldn't be worth leaving the stability I have now. Rose tinted future be damned, I'll take cold and hard and suck ass reality any day over the torment, plotting, scheming and horror you'd provide.
And I fully realize that posting about you is possibly falling right into your wants, desires and plans. I understand how you use this blog of mine against me to paint me in a bad light when, at the same time, you do not seek out a dialogue with me about it to understand me and why I write what I do. I accept the consequences of my actions and inactions. I accept that by doing this, you may use it as a tool to blackmail/hurt/manipulate the common person in our lives to do whatever it is you want. I doubt it'll work, but you're welcome to try.
But I forgive you. And I mean that so much that I'm posting it in this blog for all the world to see. I forgive you for what you have done, are doing and will do. I forgive you and may you be blessed in all your endevors.
First and foremost is to you Fair Weather Christians who only use your "beliefs" when it suits you or your arguments. I was privy to a conversation/debate on politics a couple weekends ago. One of the people has a history of using Jesus, God and their religion to back up their political points. When countered by the opposing person with the same tactic, they (rather predictably when I look back at it all) said that it was besides the point! At the time, I was in shock over it. I do not understand how "God fearing" Christians can sit and spout crap about Jesus in relation to politics yet can not take the same frakkin' way they dish it! You are a Fair Weather Christian when you do that! You are not a follower of Jesus! Jesus was the original Socialist and hippie, but Gods forbid any "God fearing" Christian ever follow the rules of caring for the sick, give your money to the poor and help others without putting yourself first! Hell, if going by rules, I'm more of a Christian than most examples of modern Christians! And I'm a frakking Pagan!!!
Next time I have to listen to the blathering blatherskite of this hypocrite, I'm gonna have to point this out. I can't stand people who use their "Lord and Savior" as a tool for their own hate and fear. Either follow the teachings of Jesus all the way or not at all, it isn't a pick and choose situation!
Next is to the frakking goovnayuk mandavoshka who had the nerve to tell me I am racist cuz I call people "ghetto" and am White! First off, you as a Latin do not have the right to sit there and tell me I'm racist towards Black people if I use that word to describe a set of behaviors, attitudes/mindsets and/or actions that is prevalent in the Black Community. It isn't racist, cuz let's fact it, I'm "ghetto" to a point. "Ghetto-lite" as it where. Being "ghetto" isn't localized to a color of skin, community or culture. It's a set of behaviors, attitudes/mindsets and/or actions that has been adopted world wide because it's been glorified! "Ghetto" may be a place, but it is also a term to describe how some people act. Learn that, deal with it.
You don't like it? Fine, that's you. But do not sit your PC, nose-in-the-air ass in front of a computer and tell me I'm racist because I call someone "ghetto". Hell, I was pissed at people for being irate at 'Transformers: Revenge of The Fallen' due to The Twins and how they acted. If you don't like the glorified "ghetto-ness" being parodied, then maybe you shouldn't glorify such behavior. Just my opinion. Frakkin' deal with it you shitfuckcunts.
And I loathe the Race Card being pulled. People who do that have no other way to argue with you so they label you a racist to shut you up. I don't do down in a fight like that. Either learn how to argue your point or just SHUT THE FRAK UP!
And that brings me to a subject I've actually avoided talking about...kinda. This ties in with former posts about haters. Look, from August 2010 til about June of this year (2011) I had one hazmana of a personal trial to get through. I spoke of former friends and family issues. But here lately, thanks in part to Zen Space, I've come to forgive the former friends. I think of them everyday and miss them. Thirteen years worth of a friendship will do that. But I've gotten myself to the point that I forgive them. It doesn't mean I wanna be around 'em, but I can let go of the drama they caused. It's their Karma to deal with at some point and I'm fine with that.
As far as my paternal family? I ain't there yet. Getting there, but it's gonna take a while. More so because I think that not calling me about my Grandmother passing was unforgivable. And mind you, this was on top of them not telling me that my Great-Grandmother had passed either! Yet, I do need to forgive them. For me, not them.
Finally, there's the touchy subject of a stalker/hater of mine. This coward is the best entertainment ever! Not only can this person not even speak to me like a mature person, but has the nerve to go to someone and complain about me, things I've supposedly done or not done and demand apologies from me for drek I was unaware of!
I will not apologize for anything I've supposedly done, or not done, until you have the backbone to come and speak to me like a mature member of society! No going through someone who you know will tell me about it, or let me read the IM's. I know you read this and I know what gets said about me. So here it is, your chance. I'm bringing my game, what about you? And let me kindly remind you that I have made attempts to have a dialogue with you. Oh, you don't remember or think so? How about I publish the e-mails? Or recount the talks we did have before you, yes you, de-friended me on Facebook (twice) and blocked/banned me recently.
I've made attempts, in a very civil manner I might add, to have some sort of understanding with you. However, you do not want it to happen. You've attempted to break-up me and my Hubby, have accused me of abusing him on multiple occasions while claiming I'm suicidal and depressed beyond reason and also that I hold him back on a professional level. I find it sad, yet funny, that you assume a great deal about me without talking with me. Not to me or at me or around me, but with me.
You don't know me and I really don't know you. However, considering the person we have in common, I'm am willing to come to an understanding. Not for you, me or us. But for him. If your not, then I'm sorry. I'm sorry what your actions and inactions will do to your relationship with the common person in our lives. I'm sorry that I'd rather stay in St. Louis than move across half the country for a job I'd be stressed out and worrying about how you'd sabotage me and my job stability. It wouldn't be worth it. And it wouldn't be worth leaving the stability I have now. Rose tinted future be damned, I'll take cold and hard and suck ass reality any day over the torment, plotting, scheming and horror you'd provide.
And I fully realize that posting about you is possibly falling right into your wants, desires and plans. I understand how you use this blog of mine against me to paint me in a bad light when, at the same time, you do not seek out a dialogue with me about it to understand me and why I write what I do. I accept the consequences of my actions and inactions. I accept that by doing this, you may use it as a tool to blackmail/hurt/manipulate the common person in our lives to do whatever it is you want. I doubt it'll work, but you're welcome to try.
But I forgive you. And I mean that so much that I'm posting it in this blog for all the world to see. I forgive you for what you have done, are doing and will do. I forgive you and may you be blessed in all your endevors.
Monday, September 19, 2011
Divine Moments
You'll notice I said that I'm not pushing out the Divine when It tries to help me out. I say this due to the fact that I see morons around me always trying to keep the Divine at an arms length because whatever It is trying to give them or teach them, they just don't want to hear. And to me that's actually depressing. It seems that no matter what, these goovnayuk's are stuck in what they where brought up in. They leave no room for change or growth.
I do what I can to try and leave space for the Divine in my Life. Sure, there have been/are/will be times that the Divine is speaking to me and I'll just not want to hear it. But I realize that I need to hear it, to have it change me, make me grow. And there are many ways that It tries to speak to me. Through people, animals, events or just hearing someone you don't know say something and it clicks with you on something in your life. The Divine will find a way to come into your Life and guide you.
I believe that everything in this Universe is the Divine. Me, my Hubby, the computer I'm typing this on. The Internet. The Earth, Sun, planets. Everything. We are all part of the same Divine, even though we have different ways of interpreting It. To me, the Universe is alive, a living thing. Kinda like The Gaia Theory on super-steroids.
But as I was saying; I believe that the Divine tries to speak to people and they flat out ignore It because what It is trying to teach goes against everything these morons have been taught. Take for instance the whole "controversy" of Chaz Bono being out, proud and who he is. There are people who are full of venom and hate at him, calling him a 'she' and what not. What they don't see is that chance for growth that the Divine is trying to give them. By loving him for who he is, not what you think or want him to be.
I'm not saying that Chaz was put here for them or you, but he is in a position to be a force of change. And I don't get the hate directed at TransGendered people. All the talk of them "messing up what God created" is a joke to me. How many people go and have elective cosmetic surgery, thus "messing up what God created". Sex change operations are no different than a face lift or breast implants. So why aren't people going after people who have elective cosmetic surgery?
Even me writing this is the Divine reaching out to people.
I've gotten into arguments with people about the hate they have that they use God and The Bible to justify. Look, The Bible is a book, a guidebook, but a book. One written by Man, edited by Man, misinterpreted and mistranslated by Man and used for unspeakable acts by Man. Same with The Torah and The Qur'an. To use a book created and abused by Man, no matter how 'inspired by God', is wrong. How many things in these Holy Books do we not follow anymore? Because we've grown past them or that we now know are wrong?
The Divine is more complicated, strange, weird and simple than we can ever know. But It cares about us because we are a part of It. It will come into our lives to help us if we let It. We have got to stop being so involved in us that we ignore a chance for becoming more than what we are.
And I can hear y'all..."What's he going on about?" "Where's my Irate Wiccan Faggot and who's this cunt" Blah, blah, blah. I'm still me, but I'm finding new ways to get through this drek-fest that's life. Frakking deal!
I'm still gonna rant and be pissed, but as I said in my last post, I'm changing this blog a bit and adding more. I think it needs it, I need it. So frakking deal!
And that brings me to these modern Amerikan "Christian" Conservative Repuklicunts. These people are not American or Christian or even Conservative. They thrive on keeping the people of this country in fear and controllable. Take keeping people in fear of Islam by reminding us of 9/11 all the damn time! I love how the media, on 9/11, was all about "How can we make sure we never forget?" Easy, you won't let us! Islam isn't the enemy, it's these political assholes!
They aren't Christian because they have no Christ attributes! And if Jesus comes back, I know that these cunts would crucify him all over again because of what he preached/preaches. Help the poor, feed the hungry, love your enemy. These aren't modern Amerikan Christian Conservative Repuklicunt values or qualities! Keep the poor poor, let the hungry die from hunger and smite your enemy.
And then there's the Amerikan people. Look at the CNN Tea Party Debate when Ron Paul was asked if we should let an uninsured man die from his sickness. The crowd cheered after a guy yelled "YES"! What does that say about us? As a country and a people?
I work with people who say we shouldn't pay the way for the sick and uninsured. My, so not WWJD! It seems that these Amerikan Christians are anything but. I really see this country heading down the same path as Germany after The Great War. These "Conservative" Repuklicunts who are fueling the Tea Party are just the new Nazi's. Instead of being guided by a "blood religion of racial purity" they are being driven by their own version of Christianity which fits the agenda of their Corporation Controllers. And Demoncraps are more fiscally conservative than these Repuklicunts! History shows it.
To be a true Christian would mean taking care of those who go without and not complaining about it! Not, "Why should I pay for others to have a free ride?!" Seriously? Jesus weeps for you and your cold, hard heart. I love watching these cunts being a "good Christian" only when it suits them. Otherwise, it's "let them die!"
Either live up to the ideals of your Savior or just stop calling yourself a Christian. The Divine will keep trying to warm your heart, even when you ignore It. But that's your karma to deal with. I feel no pity for you when you eventually fail. I may be an Irate Wiccan Faggot asshole who hates everyone, but I help those who need it. Without reservation or thought of "what can I get out of this". Can you say the same?
Later fuckers...
Sunday, September 18, 2011
The new and improved Irate Wiccan Faggot
Worry not frakkers, I'm not giving up on my trend of pisstivity. But I felt it's high time that there be more here than my lack of anger management. Don't get me wrong, the cathartic therapy of getting it all out is way cheaper than a goovnayuk mandavoshka listening to me and telling me all the drek that's wrong with me in German names. However, I've been racking my brain for other ways to get drek out that's not anger, but just as cathartic. And I think I've found it!
So here goes:
Lately, like the last year or so, I've been working on me. Emotionally and mentally. Trust, it's like rebuilding NOLA after Katrina...it's gonna take years! But I'm in a Zen space that I never thought I'd get to. Being a rage filled flesh bag of anger and piss does that.
I've been trying REALLY hard not to knee jerk react emotionally. Not easy for me, but I'm doing way better than I thought I could. Also, just as difficult, is to not let stress get to me. This is a big one for me. I've lived with stress and tension for so long that I don't know how to live without them. But I am getting there bit by bit.
Another thing for me is letting people be people, even if they piss me the frak off. Reason for this is that Karma gets people in the end. And this has been uber easy, surprisingly. Now, the stupidity that is modern people just rolls off my back like water. Don't get me wrong, there's still plenty that irks me and I'll not stop writing about it or noticing it. But I'm not letting it get to me as much.
Another really major thing is that I've really started to live by my Rules of Life. And the more I have, the more I've found that they are so fucking true. So here's a list;
1. Let your thoughts be your Sword and Shield.
2. Ignore adversity.
3. Abide by the Rules of Love.
4. Stand up for yourself.
5. Larger than life is just the right size.
6. Live life, don't let life live you.
7. Don't accept limits just because someone say they are so.
8. You promised trouble everyday of your life. Don't make no more trouble for you than you are already promise.
9. Be truthful. Forget tact, it's a form of lying.
10. Learn to love yourself and be by yourself. If you can't love yourself then how can you love someone? If you can't be by yourself and enjoy that time, how can you enjoy time with another person?
11. What you won't do (in life or in the bed), someone else will.
12. Forgive, no matter how much it hurts. Both yourself and others. It's for you, not the other person(s). If you can't forgive and let go, those people hold power over you until you can forgive and let go. Don't give people that kind of power!
13. Keep on loving, no matter how often your heart been broken.
14. There's a time to be cool. Then there's times to act a fool to get results.
15. Treat others how you want to be treated.
16. Treat others how they treat you.
17. Take responsibility for what you do and don't do.
18. There's always a choice. Not making a choice is still a choice.
Other rules I've come by recently and they hold as true;
1. Your teens are for figuring out who you think you are.
2. Your 20s are for realizing who you really are and for making mistakes. And 21 isn't grown. It's legal but it ain't grown.
3. Your 30s are when your bulb turn on and you start working on who you want to be. If your bulb doesn't come on, check your bulb!
4. Your 40s are when you stop lying to yourself and when you're finally grown.
5. After 50 you don't give foolishness any time.
Then there's the Rules for Friends and People;
1. Don't try and change people to what you want them to be. You'll always be disappointed.
2. If people want to walk out of your life, let them go.
3. Keep people in the category of a tree. Most people in the world are like leaves. Wind blows, they go this way. Wind blows again, they move another way. Watch out for them leaves!
The there's the branches and they're tricky. They seem strong, but they will trick you. A good, strong storm comes along and they'll disappoint you by breaking off and falling away.
Then there's the roots. They are few and far between, but they give life to the tree that's you. Keep them around!
Know the difference and remember it!
4. Learn that most people only come into your life for a season. Very few are Lifers. Don't get the two confused, you'll lose in the end.
So there's all these rules, but they have helped me to no end! And I love 'em for that. Like I said, I've gotten in a Zen space that I'm forever thankful for. I doubt I'll ever be in a state of not being pissed, but I can alter that by balancing pissed with calm and collect. A much sharper blade to be sure.
Look, I'm still growing and changing and I'm sure I'll become something more and different later. But for now this is where I am and I am thankful for it. That's something else I've learned;
I'm not mad at what Life has handed me or done to me, it was good for me. And Life hasn't done anything to me that I haven't let it do.
Zen space or not, I'm moving beyond the whole "Anger Mode". I'll miss it, but I'm better for moving on. It'll always be there, of that I'm more than sure. But I need to move on, no matter how much I'd like to fight it. It's good for me, it makes me better, more adaptive. And if that doesn't scare you frakkers, nothing will!
So that's it losers. Keep on loving to hate me or loving me cuz I'm the best thing to happen to you. And sorry if that's the case...not really.
So here goes:
Lately, like the last year or so, I've been working on me. Emotionally and mentally. Trust, it's like rebuilding NOLA after Katrina...it's gonna take years! But I'm in a Zen space that I never thought I'd get to. Being a rage filled flesh bag of anger and piss does that.
I've been trying REALLY hard not to knee jerk react emotionally. Not easy for me, but I'm doing way better than I thought I could. Also, just as difficult, is to not let stress get to me. This is a big one for me. I've lived with stress and tension for so long that I don't know how to live without them. But I am getting there bit by bit.
Another thing for me is letting people be people, even if they piss me the frak off. Reason for this is that Karma gets people in the end. And this has been uber easy, surprisingly. Now, the stupidity that is modern people just rolls off my back like water. Don't get me wrong, there's still plenty that irks me and I'll not stop writing about it or noticing it. But I'm not letting it get to me as much.
Another really major thing is that I've really started to live by my Rules of Life. And the more I have, the more I've found that they are so fucking true. So here's a list;
1. Let your thoughts be your Sword and Shield.
2. Ignore adversity.
3. Abide by the Rules of Love.
4. Stand up for yourself.
5. Larger than life is just the right size.
6. Live life, don't let life live you.
7. Don't accept limits just because someone say they are so.
8. You promised trouble everyday of your life. Don't make no more trouble for you than you are already promise.
9. Be truthful. Forget tact, it's a form of lying.
10. Learn to love yourself and be by yourself. If you can't love yourself then how can you love someone? If you can't be by yourself and enjoy that time, how can you enjoy time with another person?
11. What you won't do (in life or in the bed), someone else will.
12. Forgive, no matter how much it hurts. Both yourself and others. It's for you, not the other person(s). If you can't forgive and let go, those people hold power over you until you can forgive and let go. Don't give people that kind of power!
13. Keep on loving, no matter how often your heart been broken.
14. There's a time to be cool. Then there's times to act a fool to get results.
15. Treat others how you want to be treated.
16. Treat others how they treat you.
17. Take responsibility for what you do and don't do.
18. There's always a choice. Not making a choice is still a choice.
Other rules I've come by recently and they hold as true;
1. Your teens are for figuring out who you think you are.
2. Your 20s are for realizing who you really are and for making mistakes. And 21 isn't grown. It's legal but it ain't grown.
3. Your 30s are when your bulb turn on and you start working on who you want to be. If your bulb doesn't come on, check your bulb!
4. Your 40s are when you stop lying to yourself and when you're finally grown.
5. After 50 you don't give foolishness any time.
Then there's the Rules for Friends and People;
1. Don't try and change people to what you want them to be. You'll always be disappointed.
2. If people want to walk out of your life, let them go.
3. Keep people in the category of a tree. Most people in the world are like leaves. Wind blows, they go this way. Wind blows again, they move another way. Watch out for them leaves!
The there's the branches and they're tricky. They seem strong, but they will trick you. A good, strong storm comes along and they'll disappoint you by breaking off and falling away.
Then there's the roots. They are few and far between, but they give life to the tree that's you. Keep them around!
Know the difference and remember it!
4. Learn that most people only come into your life for a season. Very few are Lifers. Don't get the two confused, you'll lose in the end.
So there's all these rules, but they have helped me to no end! And I love 'em for that. Like I said, I've gotten in a Zen space that I'm forever thankful for. I doubt I'll ever be in a state of not being pissed, but I can alter that by balancing pissed with calm and collect. A much sharper blade to be sure.
Look, I'm still growing and changing and I'm sure I'll become something more and different later. But for now this is where I am and I am thankful for it. That's something else I've learned;
I'm not mad at what Life has handed me or done to me, it was good for me. And Life hasn't done anything to me that I haven't let it do.
Zen space or not, I'm moving beyond the whole "Anger Mode". I'll miss it, but I'm better for moving on. It'll always be there, of that I'm more than sure. But I need to move on, no matter how much I'd like to fight it. It's good for me, it makes me better, more adaptive. And if that doesn't scare you frakkers, nothing will!
So that's it losers. Keep on loving to hate me or loving me cuz I'm the best thing to happen to you. And sorry if that's the case...not really.
Monday, August 22, 2011
I'll always have Chicago
Let me say that I love St. Louis, it's my home and I'll always be a 314 boy. That said, my second love (thus far) is Chicago. Don't love it enough to move there (too expensive for my cheap ass), but I go every year if I can. I love a city where you don't need a car to get around. The 'L' and CTA buses work just fine for me and the passes are cheap enough to fit easily into my budget.
Now granted I didn't do as much as I've done on other trips, but this one was satisfying in more ways. I got my first hotel room through Super 8. Not bad, the breakfast lacked major, but the room was clean and the location was nice. Right on North Sheridan in Roger's Park and less than a block from the lake and local beach, northbound and southbound bus stops right in front of the hotel and a four block walk to the nearest 'L' station. And $88 a night for a room in Chicago? Hell yes! I've done $50 a night hotel in downtown Chicago, but that was a 5 star on the ghetto scale kinda place.
The Hubby didn't go with me this time, couldn't get off work. And I like that he didn't go, every couple needs time apart. Deal if you don't like it! Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
The best part of the trip was that I got to reconnect with a friend I'd not seen in 6 years! He and his Hubby went with me to Chinatown Friday and Hamburger Mary's Saturday. I love that he got a man that he has to keep up with, he needed that. Love ya Ed!
Second to seeing Ed again was going to Las Mananitas, a Mexican place in Boystown. Swear to the Gods, no better place to get Mexican food, that I've been to anyway. Tried some chorizo enchiladas covered in a jalapeno-tomatillo sauce and it was better than sex! I'm drooling now...
...clean up on Isle 3...
...And so Chinatown was kinda a bust. Nice to visit, but not much there. Will need to again earlier in the day and walk around the whole area. And for the gamers out there, People Play Games on North Clark is killer! They have old school systems that work! Like a Magnavox Odyssey 2, an Atari 2600 that I would have gotten had I had room in my luggage, Sega of all type, Nintendo's from way back when and shit I've not ever heard of. And games for all the systems they sell. I could go for broke there and I'm not a gamer!
Then there's GayMart in Boystown. My comic lovers would jizz themselves with all the "action figures" they have! And Star Trek playsets and figures from the late 60s and early 70s. And LGBT stuff too, but the actions figures make it worth it.
But Hamburger Mary's in Andersonville is a food lover Mecca! Just damn good food, like the "Sit-n-Spinach" salad I had! Drooling again...
...clean up Isle 4!...
...Back on track.
So, that visit was marred by the cunty, man hating dykes who told me, Ed and his Hubby that we needed to go cuz we where on their turf! Fuck that! They even got told by the waiter to cool it, but that just made them more eager to get us gone. Just plain ignorant bitches! I don't get the mentality to act so childish to get people to move so you can have their table. It's stupid and I can't stand it. And yes, that makes them cunty, ignorant bitches! Same would hold true if they had been gay men, hetero, black or whatever. That childish behavior makes anyone a cunty bitch.
By then end, they moved a chair to block Ed's Hubby from getting back to his seat. One of 'em got water thrown on her...yeah, the shit follows me wherever I go. Whatever. Anyway, she deserved it. Any person causing your food going experience to sour deserves a good water-in-the-face gesture. It's a classic that should never die.
After this was drinks and laughs at The Call Bar up the street. That was a great way to end the evening before I had to catch the bus to call it a night. But I'll say that waking up and walking for an hour on the beach is worth doing. The smells, sights and sounds can relax anyone! After this was the 'L' ride to Union Station to catch the bus home.
And let me say that I am NEVER again taking a bus between cities ever again! Greyhound sucks and is dirty and the trip to and from Cleveland was horrid! But MegaBus is worse in that the seats are not comfy and that on the way up to Chicago, the fucking bus broke down! Tension rod and pulley in the engine broke right off. So after an hour and the driver calling the company 5 times, 20 of us got together and rented a party bus to come get us and take us to Chicago. Got to my hotel 4 or 5 hours late. Found out coming back Sunday that the remaining riders waited another 2 and a half hours for MegaBus to get a charter bus to get them the rest of the way! Seriously? And that was after people started to call them and complain! Why wasn't this done first? I'm already furious for what happened to me, I can't imagine what would have happened had I stayed. I've already demanded my money back plus reimbursement of the money I spent out of pocket to get a party bus. We'll see what happens...
But I'm home now and off til Wednesday. Gonna take it easy. Later fuckers, I'm off to be a lazy fat man!
Now granted I didn't do as much as I've done on other trips, but this one was satisfying in more ways. I got my first hotel room through Super 8. Not bad, the breakfast lacked major, but the room was clean and the location was nice. Right on North Sheridan in Roger's Park and less than a block from the lake and local beach, northbound and southbound bus stops right in front of the hotel and a four block walk to the nearest 'L' station. And $88 a night for a room in Chicago? Hell yes! I've done $50 a night hotel in downtown Chicago, but that was a 5 star on the ghetto scale kinda place.
The Hubby didn't go with me this time, couldn't get off work. And I like that he didn't go, every couple needs time apart. Deal if you don't like it! Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
The best part of the trip was that I got to reconnect with a friend I'd not seen in 6 years! He and his Hubby went with me to Chinatown Friday and Hamburger Mary's Saturday. I love that he got a man that he has to keep up with, he needed that. Love ya Ed!
Second to seeing Ed again was going to Las Mananitas, a Mexican place in Boystown. Swear to the Gods, no better place to get Mexican food, that I've been to anyway. Tried some chorizo enchiladas covered in a jalapeno-tomatillo sauce and it was better than sex! I'm drooling now...
...clean up on Isle 3...
...And so Chinatown was kinda a bust. Nice to visit, but not much there. Will need to again earlier in the day and walk around the whole area. And for the gamers out there, People Play Games on North Clark is killer! They have old school systems that work! Like a Magnavox Odyssey 2, an Atari 2600 that I would have gotten had I had room in my luggage, Sega of all type, Nintendo's from way back when and shit I've not ever heard of. And games for all the systems they sell. I could go for broke there and I'm not a gamer!
Then there's GayMart in Boystown. My comic lovers would jizz themselves with all the "action figures" they have! And Star Trek playsets and figures from the late 60s and early 70s. And LGBT stuff too, but the actions figures make it worth it.
But Hamburger Mary's in Andersonville is a food lover Mecca! Just damn good food, like the "Sit-n-Spinach" salad I had! Drooling again...
...clean up Isle 4!...
...Back on track.
So, that visit was marred by the cunty, man hating dykes who told me, Ed and his Hubby that we needed to go cuz we where on their turf! Fuck that! They even got told by the waiter to cool it, but that just made them more eager to get us gone. Just plain ignorant bitches! I don't get the mentality to act so childish to get people to move so you can have their table. It's stupid and I can't stand it. And yes, that makes them cunty, ignorant bitches! Same would hold true if they had been gay men, hetero, black or whatever. That childish behavior makes anyone a cunty bitch.
By then end, they moved a chair to block Ed's Hubby from getting back to his seat. One of 'em got water thrown on her...yeah, the shit follows me wherever I go. Whatever. Anyway, she deserved it. Any person causing your food going experience to sour deserves a good water-in-the-face gesture. It's a classic that should never die.
After this was drinks and laughs at The Call Bar up the street. That was a great way to end the evening before I had to catch the bus to call it a night. But I'll say that waking up and walking for an hour on the beach is worth doing. The smells, sights and sounds can relax anyone! After this was the 'L' ride to Union Station to catch the bus home.
And let me say that I am NEVER again taking a bus between cities ever again! Greyhound sucks and is dirty and the trip to and from Cleveland was horrid! But MegaBus is worse in that the seats are not comfy and that on the way up to Chicago, the fucking bus broke down! Tension rod and pulley in the engine broke right off. So after an hour and the driver calling the company 5 times, 20 of us got together and rented a party bus to come get us and take us to Chicago. Got to my hotel 4 or 5 hours late. Found out coming back Sunday that the remaining riders waited another 2 and a half hours for MegaBus to get a charter bus to get them the rest of the way! Seriously? And that was after people started to call them and complain! Why wasn't this done first? I'm already furious for what happened to me, I can't imagine what would have happened had I stayed. I've already demanded my money back plus reimbursement of the money I spent out of pocket to get a party bus. We'll see what happens...
But I'm home now and off til Wednesday. Gonna take it easy. Later fuckers, I'm off to be a lazy fat man!
Monday, August 15, 2011
Hey Fuckers!
What's up you shitfuckcunts that really aren't there or read this fucked up shit! How y'all doin'? Great, now back to me.
So I've been truckin' along and livin' life. Things have been good and this time, I really like and appreciate the change. Used to not, it only made me paranoid for the other pairs of shoes to drop. Not a shoe, pairs of shoes. Yeah, that was me. Target of the sphincter of the Multiverse. But I've done my time. I like where I'm at and love it more every day. And while I'm still the Irate Wiccan Faggot you all love to hate and bash, I'm finding the Light Feelings can be good and beneficial, just like the Dark Feelings. I just happen to like the Dark Feelings more. Security blanket...I blame my parents.
Anyway, there's still some fucked up shit in my orbit, but nothing I'm concerned about. That crap'll just burn up in re-entry. Self-destructive behavior does that.
So this was a drop of the line to all you imaginary readers out there. One follower over on the right is a bummer at times, but hey, I keep on writing. Well...as much as I feel like. It is my blog after all.
Whatever fuckers.
So I've been truckin' along and livin' life. Things have been good and this time, I really like and appreciate the change. Used to not, it only made me paranoid for the other pairs of shoes to drop. Not a shoe, pairs of shoes. Yeah, that was me. Target of the sphincter of the Multiverse. But I've done my time. I like where I'm at and love it more every day. And while I'm still the Irate Wiccan Faggot you all love to hate and bash, I'm finding the Light Feelings can be good and beneficial, just like the Dark Feelings. I just happen to like the Dark Feelings more. Security blanket...I blame my parents.
Anyway, there's still some fucked up shit in my orbit, but nothing I'm concerned about. That crap'll just burn up in re-entry. Self-destructive behavior does that.
So this was a drop of the line to all you imaginary readers out there. One follower over on the right is a bummer at times, but hey, I keep on writing. Well...as much as I feel like. It is my blog after all.
Whatever fuckers.
Sunday, June 19, 2011
I'm not dead! For the most part...
Yikes! I ain't posted since March 27th? And I even forgot my password to this bitch of a blog? Yeah, fag has been lazy.
The other thing is that I ain't got much to rant about and that worries me. Only to the point that either I've gotten soft or that I'm not as angry as I used to be. Or that nothing really has gotten me pissed. Or I've done enough cathartic cleansing that I'm able and dare I say, ready to move on. Doubt it, but we'll see.
Never mind, I feel a rant coming on...
The whole Anthony Weiner thing has me in stitches. It's just stupid. As far as I know and can tell, he sent "lewd" pics and wasn't looking for sex. Though if that crotch shot is any indication, I'll fuck him. And so he likes his dick and showing off his body! How many times do you see this daily on the net from everyday guys? Guys with iPhones, anyone?
And who cares if an elected official is doing it? Hell, we prop these people up to be perfect, just like Whorewood celeBRATies. They're human, sub-human most times. I say he should have stayed in office. He wasn't that Craigslist Congressman looking for a hot fuck or Larry Craig or The Governator. Hell, Weiner should do a spread in Playgirl. Would be a major boost for him, me thinks.
And shifting gears to haters. I'm not done with haters, they make things most awesome. They point out how bad ass you can be. My favorite haters are the ones who make you the center of their world by always talking about you or turning a conversation to be about you. The power that can give a person!
Think of it for a minute. No matter what you do, your hater will focus on it and warp it for their own agenda. But if you can control what the hater sees and hears (while they're in your company, line of sight, through another person or at the same place/event as you), then you got it made! You can fuck them up just by limiting yourself or going overboard. And, you won't have to be an ass or be mean or anything that the hater wants you to be, so that they can justify their position. You've got the power over the hater. Make them look bad by controlling your actions and inactions. Make them be an ass and an embarrassment.
Speaking of haters, I still got one or two around me. Why keep 'em? Cuz they are useful tools. It's like controlling your own propaganda machine. And it's fun to see how people will twist shit around for either their own amusement or for an agenda they think you don't see.
Ah, the things I know about my haters. But that's another post. Gotta keep aces up me sleeves. A fag is many things, stupid ain't one of 'em. I just play dumb really well.
But more about me...I'm doing well. After that whole incident with people I used to associate with, I'm good. And I'm not mad at them nor do I hate them. That would give them the power and I won't grant them that. They have their own karma to deal with at some point while I'm just gonna keep on walkin' and doin' my best to be at peace with myself. Besides, guilt is a powerful emotion. And it will show up sooner or later. But even though I'm not mad or hate filled, I won't accept an apology from them. There are some things that are just unforgivable.
OH! Last weekend my sister got married! She was beautiful and her new Hubby looked as handsome as could be!! It's sad to think people refused to show since he's black and she's white. Like that should fucking matter! Her paternal grandparents refused to show, saying that they think it's wrong, they refuse to see their son give away their granddaughter away to a black man and that their bloodline will no longer be pure. My, how Nazi of you.
She married another Human who just so happens to have a darker skin tone than she does. I don't get it. I don't understand how skin color makes that much of a difference. And how is marrying outside your "race" such a bad thing when one of the most iconic couples on US television are Lucy and Desi? Last I checked, they where inter-racial! Or does the monochromatic color-scheme of the era make that point moot? I'm not sure...
Anyway. He treats he like gold, loves her and doesn't beat her. What more could you want? Skin color is only skin deep. It shouldn't matter!!! Love is blind to that shit. Now they need to start making babies so my mom will get the grandchildren she now wants. Cuz we all know she ain't gonna be gettin' 'em from me!
But now I'm gearing up for Pride Weekend here in St. Louis and my little bro is coming down for the first time to show his love and support for me and The Hubby. Can't ask for better! I have the possible chance of marching in the parade this year, but I may have to turn it down so I can watch it with my bro. Although, he could possibly march with PFLAG. Fun as it is to think about, I ain't gonna do that to him his first time down. Maybe another year.
Saw 'Green Lantern' yesterday. Good movie, solid B+. However, Ryan Reynolds in tighty whiteys was so worth it! I'd break that man in two!!!
Now I'm gettin' ready for the new Transformers movie, which I hope to Primus doesn't suck as much as the second film did. Gods, that was a waste of time and money. And I refuse to buy it on any sort of medium. It was that bad.
After the new Transformers, I wanna see the last Harry Potter movie. Now, I've read the books and it was the last one that got me hooked. So seeing that this last movie deals with The Battle of Hogwarts, I'm stoked! And let's be real, I'm all about seeing Mrs. Weasley go toe-to-toe with Bellatrix. Yeah...I'm a dork. We knew this.
So, as per my usuals, fuck all y'all shitfuckcunts and much love to all the haters out there. You make this goovna worth it! And to all the haters still in my life, keep on bringin' it! To all those who love, support and tolerate my crazy ass, know that I love you more than you know! And to those willing to stick by me this past year, you have my all my thanks! Bulldrek wins out too much sometimes, but you stepped up and beyond that drek. I can never thank you enough!!!
OK...done being a soft fag. Fuck off 'til next time cunts!
The other thing is that I ain't got much to rant about and that worries me. Only to the point that either I've gotten soft or that I'm not as angry as I used to be. Or that nothing really has gotten me pissed. Or I've done enough cathartic cleansing that I'm able and dare I say, ready to move on. Doubt it, but we'll see.
Never mind, I feel a rant coming on...
The whole Anthony Weiner thing has me in stitches. It's just stupid. As far as I know and can tell, he sent "lewd" pics and wasn't looking for sex. Though if that crotch shot is any indication, I'll fuck him. And so he likes his dick and showing off his body! How many times do you see this daily on the net from everyday guys? Guys with iPhones, anyone?
And who cares if an elected official is doing it? Hell, we prop these people up to be perfect, just like Whorewood celeBRATies. They're human, sub-human most times. I say he should have stayed in office. He wasn't that Craigslist Congressman looking for a hot fuck or Larry Craig or The Governator. Hell, Weiner should do a spread in Playgirl. Would be a major boost for him, me thinks.
And shifting gears to haters. I'm not done with haters, they make things most awesome. They point out how bad ass you can be. My favorite haters are the ones who make you the center of their world by always talking about you or turning a conversation to be about you. The power that can give a person!
Think of it for a minute. No matter what you do, your hater will focus on it and warp it for their own agenda. But if you can control what the hater sees and hears (while they're in your company, line of sight, through another person or at the same place/event as you), then you got it made! You can fuck them up just by limiting yourself or going overboard. And, you won't have to be an ass or be mean or anything that the hater wants you to be, so that they can justify their position. You've got the power over the hater. Make them look bad by controlling your actions and inactions. Make them be an ass and an embarrassment.
Speaking of haters, I still got one or two around me. Why keep 'em? Cuz they are useful tools. It's like controlling your own propaganda machine. And it's fun to see how people will twist shit around for either their own amusement or for an agenda they think you don't see.
Ah, the things I know about my haters. But that's another post. Gotta keep aces up me sleeves. A fag is many things, stupid ain't one of 'em. I just play dumb really well.
But more about me...I'm doing well. After that whole incident with people I used to associate with, I'm good. And I'm not mad at them nor do I hate them. That would give them the power and I won't grant them that. They have their own karma to deal with at some point while I'm just gonna keep on walkin' and doin' my best to be at peace with myself. Besides, guilt is a powerful emotion. And it will show up sooner or later. But even though I'm not mad or hate filled, I won't accept an apology from them. There are some things that are just unforgivable.
OH! Last weekend my sister got married! She was beautiful and her new Hubby looked as handsome as could be!! It's sad to think people refused to show since he's black and she's white. Like that should fucking matter! Her paternal grandparents refused to show, saying that they think it's wrong, they refuse to see their son give away their granddaughter away to a black man and that their bloodline will no longer be pure. My, how Nazi of you.
She married another Human who just so happens to have a darker skin tone than she does. I don't get it. I don't understand how skin color makes that much of a difference. And how is marrying outside your "race" such a bad thing when one of the most iconic couples on US television are Lucy and Desi? Last I checked, they where inter-racial! Or does the monochromatic color-scheme of the era make that point moot? I'm not sure...
Anyway. He treats he like gold, loves her and doesn't beat her. What more could you want? Skin color is only skin deep. It shouldn't matter!!! Love is blind to that shit. Now they need to start making babies so my mom will get the grandchildren she now wants. Cuz we all know she ain't gonna be gettin' 'em from me!
But now I'm gearing up for Pride Weekend here in St. Louis and my little bro is coming down for the first time to show his love and support for me and The Hubby. Can't ask for better! I have the possible chance of marching in the parade this year, but I may have to turn it down so I can watch it with my bro. Although, he could possibly march with PFLAG. Fun as it is to think about, I ain't gonna do that to him his first time down. Maybe another year.
Saw 'Green Lantern' yesterday. Good movie, solid B+. However, Ryan Reynolds in tighty whiteys was so worth it! I'd break that man in two!!!
Now I'm gettin' ready for the new Transformers movie, which I hope to Primus doesn't suck as much as the second film did. Gods, that was a waste of time and money. And I refuse to buy it on any sort of medium. It was that bad.
After the new Transformers, I wanna see the last Harry Potter movie. Now, I've read the books and it was the last one that got me hooked. So seeing that this last movie deals with The Battle of Hogwarts, I'm stoked! And let's be real, I'm all about seeing Mrs. Weasley go toe-to-toe with Bellatrix. Yeah...I'm a dork. We knew this.
So, as per my usuals, fuck all y'all shitfuckcunts and much love to all the haters out there. You make this goovna worth it! And to all the haters still in my life, keep on bringin' it! To all those who love, support and tolerate my crazy ass, know that I love you more than you know! And to those willing to stick by me this past year, you have my all my thanks! Bulldrek wins out too much sometimes, but you stepped up and beyond that drek. I can never thank you enough!!!
OK...done being a soft fag. Fuck off 'til next time cunts!
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Monday, February 14, 2011
Raise your glass, you was born this way!
So I can easily obsess over songs. Yeah...addictive personality. So better music than other outlets. I've worn out many songs over the years, much to the annoyance of those around me. Most recently "Disturbia" by Rihanna (and let's face it, the video made the song work); "Raise Your Glass" by P!nk (damn you KC for exposing me to that! Love ya for it!!) and now "Born This Way" by Lady Gaga.
Let me say that I thought that "Poker Face" was her best, then "Bad Romance" took me. Now "Born This Way" has grabbed hold hard. And I think it's due to the lyrics saying something to me as a gay man, a Pagan and as a fat man. It speaks to any outcast, just like "Raise Your Glass" does. And so it may sound a little like "Express Yourself" from Madonna, so what? Madonna is getting some exposure from this and maybe even some credit. That should be celebrated that she has really made an impact. People just wanna rip apart those who've made it and are on a musical high note in their career. It an Amerikan need to knock people off pedestals that they put people on. Look at the former homeless man who has a Gods-gift voice for radio.
Fuck all that! Enjoy the damn song and just dance and celebrate!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z4a8QtvOkBQ
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XjVNlG5cZyQ
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E1mU6h4Xdxc
Let me say that I thought that "Poker Face" was her best, then "Bad Romance" took me. Now "Born This Way" has grabbed hold hard. And I think it's due to the lyrics saying something to me as a gay man, a Pagan and as a fat man. It speaks to any outcast, just like "Raise Your Glass" does. And so it may sound a little like "Express Yourself" from Madonna, so what? Madonna is getting some exposure from this and maybe even some credit. That should be celebrated that she has really made an impact. People just wanna rip apart those who've made it and are on a musical high note in their career. It an Amerikan need to knock people off pedestals that they put people on. Look at the former homeless man who has a Gods-gift voice for radio.
Fuck all that! Enjoy the damn song and just dance and celebrate!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z4a8QtvOkBQ
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XjVNlG5cZyQ
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E1mU6h4Xdxc
Friday, February 11, 2011
That's so gay...
So I'm gonna drop my two cents on this whole bulldren topic of anti-LGBT corporations. Here we go:
I don't too much give a damn what these companies think of me and how I live! You wanna give your profits to anti-equality causes? Fine, do so. That's your choice. But you will receive all the consequences of that choice. Am I upset over Chick-fil-A giving money to certain groups? Hell no, I don't even patron there any damn way! What about that whole Target shit last year? I don't shop there no more. Not for over 6-7 years since they put into place a rule that says their employees can ignore you and not give you service if they have a "moral objection" to your lifestyle. Gay, urban clothing, alliterative religions. Any of it. Fuck that!
My point is this: Your "moral objections" should be left at the damn door when you walk in and clock in to go to work! You work in public service (retail and/or food service), so you do not get a say in how you think I should and should not live! And fuck you and your Mama if you even try to object to me! When I come into your store, you work for me. I fund your damn paycheck if I decide to buy anything. I'm the boss, you're not. Deal or get a job that ain't dealing with the fucking public!
If you are a medical professional, then you took an oath to do no harm. You can't object to people for not following the parts of your religious texts that you decide are morally superior! And either follow ALL of the texts or none of them. You can't pick and choose!!! Now I am forever thankful my Doctor ain't a fucked up shitfuckcunt who won't treat people for being different. You don't want to treat sick or injured people who happen to be LGBT? Fine, I don't want you treating me. Your ignorance may just be contagious. So fuck you!
And then there's this whole abortion shit storm the Repuklicunts are focusing on instead of creating jobs and bringing job back to this country. Well, that's when they are at work and not on vacation or cheating on their spouses and ignoring the "Family Values" they shout about to get votes. You don't want abortions? Then don't get pregnant! I swear, if men could get pregnant, then abortions would be available at drive-thru windows everywhere!
I'm all for abortions, in the right circumstances. Rape, incest, no quality of life for the child (through deformity, not the financial limitations of the parent or parents) or if the pregnancy will kill the mother. Those times are when abortions should always be allowed. Not as a birth control method for stupid whorish girls who can't keep their legs closed or a condom on the men they are fucking! Granted that's how they feel validated and that's a whole other rant entirely.
And I love how conservatives only care about you until you're born. Then they don't give a fuck. No quality education, health care, quality food or anything. But then, when you turn 18, they magically reappear and want you to join the Armed Forces. Conservatives want live babies so they can have dead soldiers.
So fuck your "moral objections" and get back to work! You wanna object? Quit your job! Go work in a community that thinks like you do. Those of us who you object to won't come around anyway. You'll be happy in your little bubble.
I don't too much give a damn what these companies think of me and how I live! You wanna give your profits to anti-equality causes? Fine, do so. That's your choice. But you will receive all the consequences of that choice. Am I upset over Chick-fil-A giving money to certain groups? Hell no, I don't even patron there any damn way! What about that whole Target shit last year? I don't shop there no more. Not for over 6-7 years since they put into place a rule that says their employees can ignore you and not give you service if they have a "moral objection" to your lifestyle. Gay, urban clothing, alliterative religions. Any of it. Fuck that!
My point is this: Your "moral objections" should be left at the damn door when you walk in and clock in to go to work! You work in public service (retail and/or food service), so you do not get a say in how you think I should and should not live! And fuck you and your Mama if you even try to object to me! When I come into your store, you work for me. I fund your damn paycheck if I decide to buy anything. I'm the boss, you're not. Deal or get a job that ain't dealing with the fucking public!
If you are a medical professional, then you took an oath to do no harm. You can't object to people for not following the parts of your religious texts that you decide are morally superior! And either follow ALL of the texts or none of them. You can't pick and choose!!! Now I am forever thankful my Doctor ain't a fucked up shitfuckcunt who won't treat people for being different. You don't want to treat sick or injured people who happen to be LGBT? Fine, I don't want you treating me. Your ignorance may just be contagious. So fuck you!
And then there's this whole abortion shit storm the Repuklicunts are focusing on instead of creating jobs and bringing job back to this country. Well, that's when they are at work and not on vacation or cheating on their spouses and ignoring the "Family Values" they shout about to get votes. You don't want abortions? Then don't get pregnant! I swear, if men could get pregnant, then abortions would be available at drive-thru windows everywhere!
I'm all for abortions, in the right circumstances. Rape, incest, no quality of life for the child (through deformity, not the financial limitations of the parent or parents) or if the pregnancy will kill the mother. Those times are when abortions should always be allowed. Not as a birth control method for stupid whorish girls who can't keep their legs closed or a condom on the men they are fucking! Granted that's how they feel validated and that's a whole other rant entirely.
And I love how conservatives only care about you until you're born. Then they don't give a fuck. No quality education, health care, quality food or anything. But then, when you turn 18, they magically reappear and want you to join the Armed Forces. Conservatives want live babies so they can have dead soldiers.
So fuck your "moral objections" and get back to work! You wanna object? Quit your job! Go work in a community that thinks like you do. Those of us who you object to won't come around anyway. You'll be happy in your little bubble.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Shit Storm of 2010
OK, yeah been away for a bit. Deal. I got drafted to "pre-count" the inventory for the warehouse at my job. Boss didn't tell me that it'd be a three week ordeal BEFORE the actual inventory! Ugh...
Anyway, I'm back fuckers. Maybe a little dulled from all that time spent counting phones, parts of phones and circuit boards, but I'm still your friendly neighborhood Irate Wiccan Faggot! So let's jump back into the sauna of broken glass and get 2011 off as well as we can. And yes, it's fucking February, so I'm a tad late to the party. Whatever...y'all just arrived early. I'm right on time!
So I'm gonna start off with THE shit situation/drama that filled the last six months of 2010;
It's not a big secret that most of my friends ain't too fond of The Hubby. Sure, he's weird and out there, but he's a genuine soul. Very kind and loving. Hell, he has to be...look who he puts up with! Anyway, he's had medical issues since his time spent in The First Gulf War. Add this to the fact that his social graces aren't exactly the best. You may see where this equation is going.
Well apparently it finally hit critical at some point before July 2010. I say this because it wasn't brought to our attention until that month. After a birthday dinner for a friend the weekend of The Fourth of July, The Hubby made a mention on Facebook about how he was tired of seeing me ignored by friends. Well that was all that was needed to stir the Shit Storm of 2010.
Apparently The Hubby hit a nerve. So in turn, he was banned from the newly bought house of a friend because of his "hygiene habits" and wouldn't be allowed in until this friend and her gal felt that he had changed enough to be allowed in. All this is on top of the brewing of us not being invited to their House Warming Party, though we of course found out why. And what upset me the most was that it was being taken out on me as well, just for being in a relationship with him! Then I put a few things together and figured out that I was lied to by this friend (she also told the same lie to other mutual friends). Oh joy...
There was e-mails back and forth for a while, in fact all this has been done by e-mail to my ire. Frankly if you can't speak to my face about something as big as this, then you are a coward and don't respect me, my relationship or my Hubby and don't seemingly have the capacity to show dignity. All this now former friend has done is hide behind a computer screen and a keyboard and she has the nerve to call me childish?! Her gal de-friended The Hubby and I on Facebook and two other friends who defended us at their House Warming Party when the girlfriend couldn't keep her mouth shut about how gross The Hubby is. And as one friend put it, "They where handed a logical argument that they didn't like."
Another thing that set me off was the very apparent hypocrisy of their argument. "Your Hubby coughs without covering his mouth and picks his nose and takes off shoes and socks to scratch his feet." OK, that's your arguing points. No other position offered. But another friend has severe dry skin that flakes off and he actually eats some of the flakes! EEWWWW!!! And yet he's still allowed over with no issue. That's when I got it. The Hubby was singled out because he just isn't liked. Especially by the girlfriend. She already got rid of one person (found out the circumstances around that recently...explained the absence), so guess we got to be the 2-for-1 special.
So I lost a friend of 13 years to petty Junior High Politics. Sure, sucks pretty bad, but it's a situation I can deal with. Wish it hadn't come to this, but I am not going to play childish games because you can't communicate like an adult, face-to-face and with some sense. And I find it funny that they go on about The Hubby's "hygiene habits" when I've gotten a little grossed out by the "ick factor" of how they live. I've helped move them before and trust me, they ain't shining examples of how to live cleanly. Not saying that they live in filth, they don't. But don't go claiming OCD germaphobic bullshit when I've seen you pick your nose or not sweep up the kitchen for a month!
But congrats to them both. They got rid of someone they didn't like nor want around...just so happens that they got rid of two. That's on them. Karma is a bitch and they will both have to answer for their actions, inactions and lies at some point.
So that bullshit took up the last half of 2010. It may not seem like much or that it shouldn't have been drawn out that far (it shouldn't), but that's what went down. People want to be petty and controlling. So be it. That's for them to answer for.
Anyway, I'm back fuckers. Maybe a little dulled from all that time spent counting phones, parts of phones and circuit boards, but I'm still your friendly neighborhood Irate Wiccan Faggot! So let's jump back into the sauna of broken glass and get 2011 off as well as we can. And yes, it's fucking February, so I'm a tad late to the party. Whatever...y'all just arrived early. I'm right on time!
So I'm gonna start off with THE shit situation/drama that filled the last six months of 2010;
It's not a big secret that most of my friends ain't too fond of The Hubby. Sure, he's weird and out there, but he's a genuine soul. Very kind and loving. Hell, he has to be...look who he puts up with! Anyway, he's had medical issues since his time spent in The First Gulf War. Add this to the fact that his social graces aren't exactly the best. You may see where this equation is going.
Well apparently it finally hit critical at some point before July 2010. I say this because it wasn't brought to our attention until that month. After a birthday dinner for a friend the weekend of The Fourth of July, The Hubby made a mention on Facebook about how he was tired of seeing me ignored by friends. Well that was all that was needed to stir the Shit Storm of 2010.
Apparently The Hubby hit a nerve. So in turn, he was banned from the newly bought house of a friend because of his "hygiene habits" and wouldn't be allowed in until this friend and her gal felt that he had changed enough to be allowed in. All this is on top of the brewing of us not being invited to their House Warming Party, though we of course found out why. And what upset me the most was that it was being taken out on me as well, just for being in a relationship with him! Then I put a few things together and figured out that I was lied to by this friend (she also told the same lie to other mutual friends). Oh joy...
There was e-mails back and forth for a while, in fact all this has been done by e-mail to my ire. Frankly if you can't speak to my face about something as big as this, then you are a coward and don't respect me, my relationship or my Hubby and don't seemingly have the capacity to show dignity. All this now former friend has done is hide behind a computer screen and a keyboard and she has the nerve to call me childish?! Her gal de-friended The Hubby and I on Facebook and two other friends who defended us at their House Warming Party when the girlfriend couldn't keep her mouth shut about how gross The Hubby is. And as one friend put it, "They where handed a logical argument that they didn't like."
Another thing that set me off was the very apparent hypocrisy of their argument. "Your Hubby coughs without covering his mouth and picks his nose and takes off shoes and socks to scratch his feet." OK, that's your arguing points. No other position offered. But another friend has severe dry skin that flakes off and he actually eats some of the flakes! EEWWWW!!! And yet he's still allowed over with no issue. That's when I got it. The Hubby was singled out because he just isn't liked. Especially by the girlfriend. She already got rid of one person (found out the circumstances around that recently...explained the absence), so guess we got to be the 2-for-1 special.
So I lost a friend of 13 years to petty Junior High Politics. Sure, sucks pretty bad, but it's a situation I can deal with. Wish it hadn't come to this, but I am not going to play childish games because you can't communicate like an adult, face-to-face and with some sense. And I find it funny that they go on about The Hubby's "hygiene habits" when I've gotten a little grossed out by the "ick factor" of how they live. I've helped move them before and trust me, they ain't shining examples of how to live cleanly. Not saying that they live in filth, they don't. But don't go claiming OCD germaphobic bullshit when I've seen you pick your nose or not sweep up the kitchen for a month!
But congrats to them both. They got rid of someone they didn't like nor want around...just so happens that they got rid of two. That's on them. Karma is a bitch and they will both have to answer for their actions, inactions and lies at some point.
So that bullshit took up the last half of 2010. It may not seem like much or that it shouldn't have been drawn out that far (it shouldn't), but that's what went down. People want to be petty and controlling. So be it. That's for them to answer for.
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