OK, so Zen space and all is great for me, but I gotta get some goovna off my chest!
First and foremost is to you Fair Weather Christians who only use your "beliefs" when it suits you or your arguments. I was privy to a conversation/debate on politics a couple weekends ago. One of the people has a history of using Jesus, God and their religion to back up their political points. When countered by the opposing person with the same tactic, they (rather predictably when I look back at it all) said that it was besides the point! At the time, I was in shock over it. I do not understand how "God fearing" Christians can sit and spout crap about Jesus in relation to politics yet can not take the same frakkin' way they dish it! You are a Fair Weather Christian when you do that! You are not a follower of Jesus! Jesus was the original Socialist and hippie, but Gods forbid any "God fearing" Christian ever follow the rules of caring for the sick, give your money to the poor and help others without putting yourself first! Hell, if going by rules, I'm more of a Christian than most examples of modern Christians! And I'm a frakking Pagan!!!
Next time I have to listen to the blathering blatherskite of this hypocrite, I'm gonna have to point this out. I can't stand people who use their "Lord and Savior" as a tool for their own hate and fear. Either follow the teachings of Jesus all the way or not at all, it isn't a pick and choose situation!
Next is to the frakking goovnayuk mandavoshka who had the nerve to tell me I am racist cuz I call people "ghetto" and am White! First off, you as a Latin do not have the right to sit there and tell me I'm racist towards Black people if I use that word to describe a set of behaviors, attitudes/mindsets and/or actions that is prevalent in the Black Community. It isn't racist, cuz let's fact it, I'm "ghetto" to a point. "Ghetto-lite" as it where. Being "ghetto" isn't localized to a color of skin, community or culture. It's a set of behaviors, attitudes/mindsets and/or actions that has been adopted world wide because it's been glorified! "Ghetto" may be a place, but it is also a term to describe how some people act. Learn that, deal with it.
You don't like it? Fine, that's you. But do not sit your PC, nose-in-the-air ass in front of a computer and tell me I'm racist because I call someone "ghetto". Hell, I was pissed at people for being irate at 'Transformers: Revenge of The Fallen' due to The Twins and how they acted. If you don't like the glorified "ghetto-ness" being parodied, then maybe you shouldn't glorify such behavior. Just my opinion. Frakkin' deal with it you shitfuckcunts.
And I loathe the Race Card being pulled. People who do that have no other way to argue with you so they label you a racist to shut you up. I don't do down in a fight like that. Either learn how to argue your point or just SHUT THE FRAK UP!
And that brings me to a subject I've actually avoided talking about...kinda. This ties in with former posts about haters. Look, from August 2010 til about June of this year (2011) I had one hazmana of a personal trial to get through. I spoke of former friends and family issues. But here lately, thanks in part to Zen Space, I've come to forgive the former friends. I think of them everyday and miss them. Thirteen years worth of a friendship will do that. But I've gotten myself to the point that I forgive them. It doesn't mean I wanna be around 'em, but I can let go of the drama they caused. It's their Karma to deal with at some point and I'm fine with that.
As far as my paternal family? I ain't there yet. Getting there, but it's gonna take a while. More so because I think that not calling me about my Grandmother passing was unforgivable. And mind you, this was on top of them not telling me that my Great-Grandmother had passed either! Yet, I do need to forgive them. For me, not them.
Finally, there's the touchy subject of a stalker/hater of mine. This coward is the best entertainment ever! Not only can this person not even speak to me like a mature person, but has the nerve to go to someone and complain about me, things I've supposedly done or not done and demand apologies from me for drek I was unaware of!
I will not apologize for anything I've supposedly done, or not done, until you have the backbone to come and speak to me like a mature member of society! No going through someone who you know will tell me about it, or let me read the IM's. I know you read this and I know what gets said about me. So here it is, your chance. I'm bringing my game, what about you? And let me kindly remind you that I have made attempts to have a dialogue with you. Oh, you don't remember or think so? How about I publish the e-mails? Or recount the talks we did have before you, yes you, de-friended me on Facebook (twice) and blocked/banned me recently.
I've made attempts, in a very civil manner I might add, to have some sort of understanding with you. However, you do not want it to happen. You've attempted to break-up me and my Hubby, have accused me of abusing him on multiple occasions while claiming I'm suicidal and depressed beyond reason and also that I hold him back on a professional level. I find it sad, yet funny, that you assume a great deal about me without talking with me. Not to me or at me or around me, but with me.
You don't know me and I really don't know you. However, considering the person we have in common, I'm am willing to come to an understanding. Not for you, me or us. But for him. If your not, then I'm sorry. I'm sorry what your actions and inactions will do to your relationship with the common person in our lives. I'm sorry that I'd rather stay in St. Louis than move across half the country for a job I'd be stressed out and worrying about how you'd sabotage me and my job stability. It wouldn't be worth it. And it wouldn't be worth leaving the stability I have now. Rose tinted future be damned, I'll take cold and hard and suck ass reality any day over the torment, plotting, scheming and horror you'd provide.
And I fully realize that posting about you is possibly falling right into your wants, desires and plans. I understand how you use this blog of mine against me to paint me in a bad light when, at the same time, you do not seek out a dialogue with me about it to understand me and why I write what I do. I accept the consequences of my actions and inactions. I accept that by doing this, you may use it as a tool to blackmail/hurt/manipulate the common person in our lives to do whatever it is you want. I doubt it'll work, but you're welcome to try.
But I forgive you. And I mean that so much that I'm posting it in this blog for all the world to see. I forgive you for what you have done, are doing and will do. I forgive you and may you be blessed in all your endevors.
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