Been occupied

Yeah, OK. So I ain't posted in a while. Been focused on other areas of my life that need a beat down. So y'all may not be hearing from me til after the New Year, so deal.

So, in the mean time, fuck you and you and you. There. You got your fix til I return.

And lastly, I love and appreciate my haters. Why? You shits only pop up when I'm doing something right. Thanks for that reinforcement.

The fucking holidaze

So here it is almost Thanksgiving. Ugh. Why 'ugh' you ask? Because I can't stand the fucking holidaze. Don't get me wrong, spending time with kin (blood, in-law and chosen) is nice and calming, but it's the fucking commercialization that pisses me off from Labor Day, or earlier if I see Christmas ANYTHING, to New Years. I'm a Pagan and yet I feel that there needs to be more Christ in Christmas and a lot less buying useless shit that people will lose interest in within a day to a week.
Hell, what's even worse is the day after Christmas! Black Friday ain't got shit on that day. People returning what they don't like, or appreciate. And what do these items get returned for? Not what they could have gotten, oh no. All that shit gets returned for what they really wanted, but didn't ask for; cash, cold hard fucking cash. And what do people spend this cash on? Booze for New Years and Smurf porn. I've seen Smurf porn and it's can't be unseen. Trust me, Smurfette gets passed around more than a blunt at a Palin Family Reunion. Not pretty.
So fuck the Gods damned holidaze and bring on the New Year already! I can't take the last 3-4 months of the year.

Uninformed death

So it's been about two-three weeks since I found out my Grandmother on my father's side died. Here's the thing, I didn't find out until two weeks after she died and I only found this out because my cousin from California posted her obituary on Facebook! He didn't know either and he does a lot of family genealogy, so it goes with his work. And let me say that in no way am I upset with him for informing me, he thought I'd be upset with him or something. He apologized for being the one to inform me. I thanked him for it, since I at least know. He is all sorts of cool for it and with me. He rocks.

I can't even get out how pissed I am. How betrayed I feel. Yes, I haven't had any contact with my paternal side of the family in 10 years and I know that people will say "Tough it up, you never called them" or something like that. Well they have my number and can call me whenever they like. But they don't call me, ever. In the 31 years I've known these people they've not called to check up or anything. I have the feeling that they no longer want me around anyway for several reasons;
I'm gay.
I'm Pagan.
They don't like my mom too much and take that out on me and my brother.
Oh, and I had it out with my Grandfather before he died.

Hell, these fuckers couldn't call me when my Great-Grandma died! Or when Grandma had breast cancer AND shingles! And all that happened at the same time and my bro and I didn't even find out until SIX MONTHS later!

Now, I have got to give my little brother major credit. A few months ago he went and spoke to my Cunt, I mean Aunt, Linda. Her excuse for not calling when Great-Grandma died? You never call. Seriously?!?! The fucking phone works two ways, has for years! Brother and I have just come to the mindset that that side of the family is dead to us.

Now, not our Uncle Danny. Technically he has no blood relation to us, he's Grandma's son from her first marriage and my Grandma married Grandpa after his divorce. Linda, my aunt, is really my half-aunt and Grandma is...was my step-Grandma, though I never considered her that since I've only known her as Grandma. Danny has always been so kind. He is separate from the rest of this hot mess that's my paternal family. And I need to find him.

However, I have yet to have a good hard cry over Grandma. I'm still so pissed that at times I wanna just go to Linda's and have it out with her. But I'm thinking she wants that. And as much fun as it would be to go toe-to-toe with her, it wouldn't bring back Grandma or fix anything or even stop the pain. I know that. I know it wouldn't end well and I don't want to give her what she may want. Yet I am so pissed and hurt over this that I'm not sure what to do.

I've lost my Grandma and wasn't told. Not for two weeks! I was denied the proper chance to say good-bye. I've been to the grave and said my peace and I need to go back and leave flowers as a final good-bye. More for myself, yes I know that. But there's also a proper way of doing things and for all I am, I still do certain things properly. Saying good-bye to a loved one who's moved on is one of 'em. Grandma deserves no less.

My dad and Grandpa? Not so much, too much bad blood to get past. However I have forgiven them in recent years, both have been gone for over a decade now. And the thoughts of forgiveness have crossed my mind recently about how Linda has handled all this. I don't know if I can forgive what I consider the unforgivable. I've not forgiven not being informed of Great-Grandma's death and I don't know if I can. There's just things that can't be forgiven.

My paternal blood relations are dead to me now. I still have to say something to Linda. That's me, it's how I finalize crap. I got to let the other person, or persons, know my position so there's no loose ends. In the end, you'll always know where I stand and why. I owe myself that with my paternal side. It's just a matter of when. I just hope that the Police don't get involved...

Blessed Samhian/Happy Halloween!

I'm putting up an e-mail and the response I posted to it. The first e-mail, at the bottom of all this, was put up by my blind faith step-father who furthers his example of underevolvement. Don't send shit out, especially if my e-mail is on it, and expect me not to respond. Dumbass.

Hello to all receiving this reply-

For those who don't know me, I'm "so-so's" step-son. For those who don't know, I'm also a practicing Wiccan. The e-mail that was sent out to you, which is copied below, contains many untruths that I can not sit by and let go. These various untruths have been used at times to justify the attacks, murders and tortures that Pagans have endured for the last 1700 years and to the modern day.
Also, let me say this, at the end of the e-mail sent out, it states that Pagans and Wiccans recruit, especially on Halloween. Let me makes this very clear, Pagans and Wiccans DO NOT recruit! It is looked down upon to do so and is considered exceedingly rude, insulting and wrong. It is something that is just simply not done. Also, Pagans and Satanists are two entirely different things. Pagans and Wiccans are just that, Pagan. This means that we worship more than one God or Goddess, making us polytheistic. Christians, and any other Abrahamic groups, is monotheistic, meaning you worship one God, or Goddess. Satanism in an extention of Abrahamic beliefs. It stemmed out of dislike and resistance to the Vatican and branched off denomination Christian practices. There are many different styles of Satanism these days, but only few deal with the Abrahamic Satan as a figurehead that is opposite to that of the Abrahamic God. Again, Pagans and Wiccans are completely separate from Satanists. Different beliefs and practices, plain and simple.


A Celebration of Evil

It is true that Halloween is a Wiccan holiday, but it is not completely surrounding the spirits (which are not demons) returning to this plane of existence. It is an agricultural holy day, celebrating the last harvest of the season. It varies in its celebration, as it can be celebrated on Oct. 31st, Nov. 1st or November 4th or when the sun is at 15 degrees Scorpio. It is also a seasonal holy day, which does mark the beginning of The Dark Days, or when the days shorten and grow colder. It is the second oldest, unbroken, holiday/holy day in the European world, estimated age is 6000 years.
Its main focuses are preparing for winter; honoring the harvest and honoring the dead.
Ronald Hutton, a professor at the University of Bristol, describes this day in his book The Stations of the Sun;
Hallowe'en developed from the Celtic feast of Samhain (pronounced "sow-in"), which marked the end of summer and the start of winter. For the Celts, Samhain was the beginning of the year and the cycle of the seasons. Samhain was at a time when the Celts acknowledged the beginning and ending of all things. As they looked to nature, they saw the falling of the leaves from the trees, the coming of winter and death. It was a time when they turned to their Gods and Goddesses seeking to understand the turning cycles of life and death. Here, on the threshold of the cold barren winter months, it was also a time of feasting and celebration as the weakest animals where culled to preserve valuable foodstuffs, and provide food to last until the following spring...For the Celts, Samhain was a time when the gates between this world and the next were open. It was a time of communionwith the spirits of the dead, who, like the wild autumnal winds, were free to roam the earth. At Samhain, the Celts called upon their ancestors, who mightbring warnings and guidance to help in the year to come.
The Ultimate Book of Shadows for the New Generation: Solitary Witch by Silver Ravenwolf


Day of Death

No where have I run into Samhain being refereed to as this. As far as Samhain being a "Lord of Death", this is a falsehood that was erroneously coined by researchers in the 1700s.
The closest that you can come to a Celtic God of the Dead is Cernunnos, who is the 'Horned God', as he is the God of Nature, Animals, Fertility and the Underworld. Other than this, you'll be hard pressed to find a Celtic Lord of Death.
http://folkloreandmyth.netfirms.com/gods_goddesses.html


Human and Animal Sacrifices

Here's the short answer: yes, the Celts do appear to have performed human sacrifice as part of their religious rituals. And, since the Druids were the religious/scholar/priestly social class, they almost certainly would have participated in human sacrifices, and probably officiated at them.
We have three sorts of data regarding Celtic human sacrifices. We have the words of Classical Greek and Roman writers, usually with a political agenda, and often reporting hearsay (Strabo for instance, was repeating the observations of the earlier no longer extant author Poseidonius), we have a few references in medieval Irish texts, primarily in the mythological tales, and we have archaeological data that is increasingly important.
First, here are some extracts about human sacrifice among the Celts from two Classical authors.
According to Strabo (64/63 B.C.E. - 21 C.E. at least) in his Geography (4.1.13):

The Romans put a stop both to these customs and to the ones connected with sacrifice and divination, as they were in conflict with our own ways: for example, they would strike a man who had been consecrated for sacrifice in the back with a sword, and make prophecies based on his death-spasms; and they would not sacrifice without the presence of the Druids. Other kinds of human sacrifices have been reported as well: some men they would shoot dead with arrows and impale in the temples; or they would construct a huge figure of straw and wood, and having thrown cattle and all manner of wild animals and humans into it, they would make a burnt offering of the whole thing (trans. by Benjamin Fortson, in Koch and Carey 1995, 18).

And according to Julius Caesar (writing c. 15 March, 44 B. C. E.) De Bello Gallico 6.16):

All the people of Gaul are completely devoted to religion, and for this reason those who are greatly affected by diseases and in the dangers of battle either sacrifice human victims or vow to do so using the Druids as administrators to these sacrifices, since it is judged that unless for a man's life a man's life is given back, the will of the immortal gods cannot be placated. In public affairs they have instituted the same kind of sacrifice. Others have effigies of great size interwoven with twigs, the limbs of which are filled up with living people which are set on fire from below, and the people are deprived of life surrounded by flames. It is judged that the punishment of those who participated in theft or brigandage or other crimes are more pleasing to the immortal gods; but when the supplies of this kind fail, they even go so low as to inflict punishment on the innocent (trans. Anne Lea, in Koch and Carey 1995. 22).

Strabo's reference to arrows is especially intriguing; there's little or no archaeological data to support Celtic use of bows and arrows. Neither are mentioned in the medieval Irish tales, and the Irish words for bow and arrow are borrowed from Latin and Norse (Piggott 1975, 110).
The idea of a "wickerman" is reminiscent of references in both Irish legend and the second branch of the Welsh Mabinogi to men being inveigled into a specially built house, which is then set fire, immolating them. There is also a reference by Lucan, and the comments by later scholars as part of the Lucan scholia, in the Pharsalia, to three Celtic deities; Taranis said to have been propitiated by burning, Teutates by drowning, and Esus by hanging. Esus is mythologically similar to the Nordic deity Odin, also associated with hanging from a tree. And there is Tacitus' account of the Roman attack on the Druid stronghold of Anglesey, which, although almost certainly politically motivated (Aren't we Romans wonderful! We stopped those dreadful human-sacrifices by those nasty druids), he does refer to altars as "soaked with human blood" (I can't help but wonder how he knew the blood was human) and Boudicca also impaled victims during her rebellion in 60 A.D.
The best archaeological data supporting Celtic human sacrifice is the body of the man placed in Lindow bog in the first or second century C.E. We actually have the body (well, most of it) so well preserved that scientists were able to analyze his stomach contents to discover his last meal (a partially scorched grain cake). Lindow man was almost certainly a ritual sacrifice; he was strangled, hit on the head, and had his throat cut, in quick order, then surrendered to the bog. This pattern fits the "three-fold" death referred to in medieval Irish tales. What's more, the man seems to have been of high social rank, and a willing victim. There are also other bog burials (the Tollund Man bog body in Denmark is very similar) in various places in Europe, as well as in grain storage pits and shafts in Britain, that, once they were no longer used for storage, had human bodies thrown in them, for instance at the Danebury hillfort. While Anne Ross in Pagan Celtic Britain is positive that the Danebury bodies were ritual sacrifices, most scholars are less certain.
A late Iron age shaft in Holzhausen in Baviaria with a post at the bottom was presumably used for impaling a human victim; the pole when analysed had traces of human flesh and blood. In East Yorkshire, at Garton Slack a young man and a woman of about thirty were found huddled together in a shaft, a wooden stake between them pinning their arms together; the woman was apparently pregnant, since a fetal skeleton was found beneath her pelvis. Presumably the two adults were ritually killed for punitive purposes. There have also been several instances of foundation burials, often of children, which may or may not have been sacrifices (Green 1992, 183-84). Both bog and shaft burials seem particularly appropriate for cthonic otherworld-dwelling deities.
As for the evidence of Welsh and Irish tales about human sacrifice, the second branch of the Welsh Mabinogi tells of Efnisien jumping into the cauldron which brought the dead to life again, in an act of self-sacrifice which destroyed his life, and the cauldron. This myth is of course suggestive when one remembers the image on the Gundestrup Cauldron of a line of men moving towards what looks like a cauldron, with one man being submerged head first into the cauldron. The same image is also reminiscent of tales in which an over-heated Cu Chulainn is submerged into a sequence of vats to cool him off. Alternatively, one could argue that the image on the Gundestrup cauldron is of a victim (or perhaps a volunteer) being "donated" to a cthonic shaft.

Works Cited

Green, Miranda J. Dictionary of Celtic Myth and Legend. New York: Thames and Hudson, 1992.
Koch, John T. and John Carey eds. The Celtic Heroic Age. Malden, Massachustetts: Celtic Studies Publications, 1995.
Piggott, Stuart. The Druids. Frederick A. Praeger: New York, 1968. Reissued Thames and Hudson, London and New York, 1975.
Ross, Anne. Pagan Celtic Britain. Chicago: Chicago Adademy Publishers, 1996.

Trick or Treat

This practice is known to go back as early as the Middle Ages, including Christmas wassailing. This can also be attributed to the poor of the time 'souling' on Hallowmas (Nov. 1) to receive food in return for prayers for the dead on All Saints Day (Nov. 2).
It originated in Ireland and Britain, but similar practices for the souls of the dead cold be found as far south as Italy.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trick_or_TreatHistory


Jack-o-Lantern

Folklore:
An old Irish folk tale tells of Jack, a lazy yet shrewd farmer who uses a cross to trap the Devil. One story says that Jack tricked the Devil into climbing an apple tree, and once he was up there Jack quickly placed crosses around the trunk or carved a cross into the bark, so that the Devil couldn't get down. Another myth says that Jack put a key in the Devil's pocket while he was suspended upside-down;
Another version of the myth says that Jack was getting chased by some villagers from whom he had stolen, when he met the Devil, who claimed it was time for him to die. However, the thief stalled his death by tempting the Devil with a chance to bedevil the church-going villagers chasing him. Jack told the Devil to turn into a coin with which he would pay for the stolen goods (the Devil could take on any shape he wanted); later, when the coin/Devil disappeared, the Christian villagers would fight over who had stolen it. The Devil agreed to this plan. He turned himself into a silver coin and jumped into Jack's wallet, only to find himself next to a cross Jack had also picked up in the village. Jack had closed the wallet tight, and the cross stripped the Devil of his powers; and so he was trapped. In both myths, Jack only lets the Devil go when he agrees never to take his soul. After a while the thief died, as all living things do. Of course, his life had been too sinful for Jack to go to heaven; however, the Devil had promised not to take his soul, and so he was barred from Hell as well. Jack now had nowhere to go. He asked how he would see where to go, as he had no light, and the Devil mockingly tossed him an ember that would never burn out from the flames of hell. Jack carved out one of his turnips (which was his favourite food), put the ember inside it, and began endlessly wandering the Earth for a resting place. He became known as "Jack of the Lantern", or Jack-o'-Lantern.
There are variations on the legend:

· Some versions include a "wise and good man", or even God helping Jack to prevail over the Devil.

· There are different versions of Jack's bargain with the Devil. Some variations say the deal was only temporary but the Devil, embarrassed and vengeful, refuses Jack entry to hell after Jack dies.

· Jack is considered a greedy man and is not allowed into either heaven or hell, without any mention of the Devil.

Despite the colourful legends, the term jack-o'-lantern originally meant a night watchman, or man with a lantern, with the earliest known use in the mid-17th century; and later, meaning an ignis fatuus or will-o'-the-wisp. In Labrador and Newfoundland, both names "Jacky Lantern" and "Jack the Lantern" refer to the will-o'-the-wisp concept rather than the pumpkin carving aspect.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jack-o%27-lantern

No skulls where used in the start of the practice of carving Jack-o-lanterns. Actually, the use of pumpkins started in North America around 1866. Originally, the turnip or mangelwurzel was used and lit from the inside to ward of evil spirits. Carving was done later to scare off the spirits and guard the house for the night, as this night is when the spirits of the dead roam freely.


Dance of Death

No where in any research that I have done over the years has refered to this. While there is much that we don't know about the Druids, due to history and the destruction of thier writtings, there may have been a dance celebrating death, either as part of Samhain or another festival or holy day.


House of Horror

While the Horror House is a staple of the modern Halloween, it is only coming into use recently, as Halloween as we now know it is more of an American tradition that started in the early 1900s due to Irish and British immigrants.
Also, Count Dracula is a fictional character that is widely believed to be based on Wallachian prince, Vlad III, aka Vlad the Impaler, son of Vlad Dracul and Princess Cneajna of Moldavia.
The reputation of Vlad --epe-- was considerably darker in the Western Europe than in the Eastern Europe and Romania. In the West, Vlad III --epe-- had been characterized as an exceedingly cruel madman. The number of his victims ranges from 40 000 to 100 000. Much of the information about his atrocities and cruelness comes from the German stories written about him, which were for the most part politically, religiously and economically inspired propaganda against Vlad --epe--. Although some of the stories have some base in reality, most of them are either fictional or exaggerated. According to the German stories the number of victims he had killed was at least 80 000. In addition to the 80 000 victims mentioned he also had whole villages and fortresses burned and destroyed to the ground.These numbers are most likely exaggerated. For example in one episode in the German stories Vlad impaled 600 merchants from Bra--ov and confiscated all their goods. A document written by Vlad's rival Dan III in 1459 mentions the merchants number who were impaled to be forty-one. It is highly unlikely that a rival of Vlad's would have reduced the number of Vlads victims.
The atrocities made by Vlad in the German stories include impaling, torturing, burning, skinning, roasting, and boiling people, feeding people human flesh (their friends or relatives), cutting off limbs, drowning and nailing of hats to the heads of people. His victims included men and women of all ages, religions and social classes, children and babies. The exaggeration of cruelties in the German stories is quite clear when compared to the Russian or the Romanian stories about Vlad --epe-- from which the meaningless violence and cruel atrocities are almost absent. The exaggerated and propagandistic view is especially clear in one sentence in the stories: He caused so much pain and suffering that even the most bloodthirstiest persecutors of christianity like Herodes, Nero, Diocletius and all other pagans compined hadn't even thought of.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vlad_III_the_Impaler


One last thing I leave you with is the Wiccan Rede, which is the main Law we Wiccans follow universally;

These Eight words the Rede fulfill:

"An Ye Harm None, Do What Ye Will"

Those eight words are the driving force in our practices in life, spirit and love. Peace to you all and I hope that this has enlightened you enough to open yourselves to seek the truth in all you undertake. I leave you in Perfect Love and Perfect Trust and merry meet and merry part and merry meet again!




========================================================================================

THE BIBLE and HALLOWEEN

"Test all things; hold fast to what is good. Abstain from every form
of evil."
1 Thessalonians 5:21 - 22

A Celebration of Evil
Halloween is a religious day, but it is not Christian. Tom
Sanguinet, a former high priest in Wicca has said: "The modern
holiday that we call Halloween has its origins in the full moon
closest to November 1, the witches' new year. It is a time when the
spirits (demons) are supposed to be at their peak power and
revisiting planet earth. Halloween is purely and absolutely evil,
and there is nothing we ever have, or will do, that would make it
acceptable to the Lord Jesus."

Day of Death

Halloween has strong roots in paganism and witchcraft. It began as
the Druid festival of Samhain. The Celts considered November 1st the
day of death, because, in the Northern hemisphere, this was the
beginning of winter, the leaves were falling, it was getting darker
earlier, and temperatures were dropping. They believed that their
sun god was losing strength and Samhain, the lord of death, was
overpowering the sun god. The druids also taught that on 31 October,
on the eve of the feast, Samhain assembled the spirits of all who
had died during the previous year to return to their former home to
visit the living.

Human and Animal Sacrifices

On Halloween, for thousands of years, druid priests have conducted
diabolical worship ceremonies in which cats, horses, sheep, oxen,
human beings and other offerings were rounded up, stuffed into wicca
cages and burned to death. These human and animal sacrifices were
apparently required to appease Samhain and keep the spirits from
harming them.

Trick or Treat

To obtain these sacrifices, druid priests would go from house to
house asking for fatted calves, black sheep and human beings. Those
who gave were promised prosperity, and those who refused to give
were threatened and cursed. This is the origin of "trick or treat."

Jack-O-Lantern

The Jack-O-Lantern has its origin in the candle-lit pumpkin or
skull, which served as a signal to mark those farms and homes that
supported the druids' religion, and thus were seeking the "treat"
when the terror of Halloween began. The World Book Encyclopedia
says: "The apparently harmless lighted pumpkin face of the Jack-O-
Lantern is an ancient symbol of a damned soul."

Dance of Death

While people and animals were screaming in agony, being burnt to
death, the druids and their followers would dress in costumes made
of animal skins and heads. They would dance, chant and jump through the flames in the hope of warding off evil spirits.

House of Horrors

One of the popular heroes of Halloween, Count Dracula, was also a
real person. Dracula lived from 1431 to 1476. During his six year
reign, Count Dracula massacred over 100,000 men, women and children
in the most hideous ways. He devised a plan to rid his country of
the burden of beggars, the handicapped, the sick and the aged by
inviting them to a feast at one of his palaces. He fed them well and
got them drunk. Then he asked them: "Do you want to be without
cares, lacking nothing in the world?" When his guests yelled: "Yes!"
Dracula ordered the palace boarded up and set on fire. No one
escaped this original "house of horror."

The Word of God

"When you come into the land, which the Lord your God is giving you,
you shall not learn to follow the abominations of those nations.
There shall not be found among you anyone who makes his son or his daughter pass through the fire, or one who practices witchcraft, or
a soothsayer, or one who interprets omens, or a sorcerer, or one who
conjures spells, or a medium, or a spiritist, or one who calls up
the dead. For all who do these things are an abomination to the
Lord, and because of these abominations the Lord your God drives
them out from before you. You shall be blameless before the Lord
your God, for these nations which you will dispossess, listened to
soothsayers and diviners; but as for you the Lord your God has not
appointed such for you." Deuteronomy 18:9 - 14

". teach my people the difference between the holy and the unholy,
and cause them to discern between the unclean and the clean."
Ezekiel 34:23

"My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge. Because you have
rejected knowledge, I will also reject you from being priests for
Me; because you have forgotten the Law of your God, I will also
forget your children." Hosea 4:6

"Train up a child in the way he should go, then when he is old he
will not depart from it." Proverbs 22:6

"That whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to
sin, it would be better for him if a millstone was hung around his
neck, and he were drowned in the depths of the sea. Woe to the world
because of offenses! For offenses must come, but woe to that man by
whom the offense comes!" Matthew 18: 6 - 7

"Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil. Cling to what is
good." Romans 12:9

"Therefore, let us cast off the works of darkness, and let us put on
the Armour of Light." Romans 13:12

"You cannot drink the cup of the Lord and the cup of demons; you
cannot partake of the Lord's Table and of the table of demons." 1
Corinthians 10:21

"Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what
fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? What communion has
light with darkness? And what accord has Christ with Belial? For
what part has a believer with an unbeliever? And what agreement has
the temple of God with idols?. Therefore, come out from among them
and be separate says the Lord. Do not touch what is unclean and I
will receive you." 2 Corinthians 6:14 - 17

"And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness but
rather expose them." Ephesians 5:11

"Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are
noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever
things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is
any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy - meditate on these
things." Philippians 4:8

"Now the Spirit expressly says that in latter times some will depart
from the Faith, giving heed to deceiving spirits and doctrines of
demons, speaking lies and hypocrisy, having their own conscience
seared with a hot iron." 1 Timothy 4:1 - 2

"Therefore, submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from
you." James 4:7

"Pure and undefiled religion before God and the Father is this: to
visit orphans and widows in their trouble, and to keep oneself
unspotted from the world." James 1:27

"Beloved, do not imitate what is evil, but what is good. He who does
good is of God, but he who does evil has not seen God." 3 John 11

Participating in Paganism

Instead of participating in paganism, walking with Wicca, being in
harmony with Halloween, having our children celebrate cruelty, and
dabbling in a day of death, we should focus our family and
congregation on celebrating Reformation Day this 31 October.

Reformation Day Vs Halloween

It was on 31 October 1517, that Dr. Martin Luther nailed the 95
Theses on the door of the Slosskirche (castle church) in Wittenberg,
Germany. His bold challenge against the unBiblical practices of the
medieval Roman papacy inspired the Protestant Reformation. All Bible
believing churches should celebrate the greatest revival of Faith
and freedom ever. The Reformation was one the most important turning
points in world history. The energies that were released by the
rediscovery of the Bible in the common tongue led to the most
extraordinary spiritual Revival in history. The Reformation freed
the Christians of Northern Europe from the decadence of Renaissance
paganism and led to the greatest freedoms and scientific discoveries
in history.

Every Bible believing Christian should celebrate the Reformation. No
Christian should have part in celebrating the occultic Halloween.

We are in a spiritual world war. Cruelty to animals, vandalism and
even murders occur with far greater frequency during Halloween.
Every Halloween many thousands of animals, and even people, are
sacrificed in satanic rituals worldwide, while millions of other
people, including well meaning Christians, participate in Halloween
celebrations. Halloween is a prime recruiting time for witches and
Satanists. Many people have testified that they were introduced to
the occult at a Halloween party. Halloween is very religious, but it
is not Christian.

"Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good." Romans
12:21

Choose Life

Next 31 October, take a stand against Halloween by mobilising your
family and congregation to celebrate the Reformation, and to engage
in spiritual warfare, earnest prayer, praying the Psalms, and
sharing the Gospel with our friends and neighbours, particularly
those who may be unthinkingly participating in this occultic
celebration of divination, necromancy, human sacrifice and cruelty
to animals.

"Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His
might. Put on the whole Armour of God, that you may be able to stand
against the wiles of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh
and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the
rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of
wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore, take up the whole
Armour of God, that you may be able to stand in the evil day, and
having done all, to stand. Stand therefore, having girded your waist
with truth, having put on the Breastplate of Righteousness, and
having shod your feet with the preparation of the Gospel of Peace.
Above all, taking the Shield of Faith with which you will be able to
quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one. And take the Helmet of
Salvation, and the Sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God;
praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, being
watchful to this end with all perseverance and supplication for all
the saints." Ephesians 6:10 - 18

Stalkers

I love, love, love how people who can't be my "friend" on Facebook because of (insert whatever reason they come up with) yet still stalk me here on my blog. I won't name names, much as I'd like to, but still, I finally had to speak up about this.

If people don't wanna be cool with me on Facebook, or anywhere else (including real life), yet are still keeping tabs on me here, then there's something that they can't keep away from. I get it. They envy me. Great. I envy me too! It's just something that doesn't bother me so much as I find it interesting. It's amusing to me that people who can't, seemingly, stand me in all other ways, but can tolerate me here long enough to try and use this blog against me. And that's funny, even more so, when this blog is just part of who I am.

Everyone reading this needs to get that this is just a fraction of who I am. Yes, I'm a hateful cunt who can't stand the masses of humanity due to the stupidity they display daily. There's plenty more you don't see and that's by design of this blog. This is my cathartic therapy, it's free and easy to get the shit out of my head that everyone else keeps in theirs. I share my darkest sides and do so without shame or regret. And people can't seem to deal with that.

In the end, if you people can't take this blog and me with a grain of salt and like a thinking adult and want to judge me totally as a person because of what you read, fuck you. If you want to judge me on my own damn Facebook wall based on your own views and not talk to me, then cut all ties, fuck you. Sorry if you people wanna hate on me more, but that's on you. I got plenty who hate me for this blog and I'm much better not being around small minded morons who can't communicate like an adult.

So love, hate or just ignore. I'm still gonna write shit that people can't take well, don't know how to take at all and will try and tear me down for. Don't be jealous that I can get out what you can't even acknowledge in yourself. That's what makes me better than you.

Use this blog as you see fit. But if you do so without having a dialog with me, then you're just an ass who envy's me. And that's my view of people without communication, dialog and content. Til the time and point that people can have the backbone to talk with me like an adult who utilizes the three pounds of gray matter in their skulls, all I can tell you is keep stalking me. For all the shit I can't stand, keep it up. You just make me stronger and give me more fuel for the fire. You make me laugh and I thank you for that!

We are all to blame

It hurts and saddens me to hear of all these suicides of gay youth. It shouldn't happen, but it does. And while the bullies are to be blamed for their part, so are the rest of us.

There's a stigma to being homosexual. It is enforced by the culture and society we live in and silently embraced by those who are LGBT. Yes, we fight for equality, but not as hard as we could. We are a spineless "community" who let political parties walk over us and just whine about it. Why? Because we still, to a point, believe in the stigma. That is what holds us back.
How can we, the LGBT "community", stand up and help these youths, along with all the homeless youth, when we can't stand up and help ourselves? So, while the bullies are getting the spotlight and finding out that they are part of the cause of the deaths of their victims, we must also step up and realize that we are also to blame and have a part.

We are all to blame.

Thank you

To those who've offered information to me about converting to Islam, thank you. Once, I considered Islam, that was when I first read the Qur'an. I'd also considered becoming a Hebrew, Hindu, Buddhist, Sikh...the list went on. But in all the searching I did, the only thing I found that made me feel whole, spiritually speaking, is Wicca. I know that may not sit well with plenty of people, that's cool. But it is what works for me.

So, while I won't be joining Islam or becoming Muslim, I still wanna say thanks. I appreciate the time you took to offer me that, I just won't be taking you up on it. I support true Islam, true Muslims and Muhammad, peace be upon him. It's just that I'm an ally to you more than a brother in Allah.

Many blessings and thanks!!

Well then

I love haters, I do. They make my life better. I love the way that when haters come at me, they waste their time and energies. See, you can hate on me all you want, but it's all lost on me. I don't care about you. With all the time you waste on me, you could be utilizing all that wasted energy on something else.

Hate your life? Do something about it to change it. I've done that plenty of times.
Hate your job? Get another one. Even in this economy, it's possible.
Hate ? Just do something about it. Get off your ass and do something about it. Plain and fucking simple.

Look, give me all the attention you want. I'll take it. And even when you don't pay attention to me, I'm still gonna be here. You might get me to bend a little, but you'll not get me to break. Keep it up, you just make me stronger.

Comment on comments, the end

OK cunts, no more comments will be allowed for anyone who wants to be Anonymous. It was funny at first, but I just deleted 20 fucking comments in my review box that where just links to, what I'm only guessing, anti-Islam sites, sources, opinion videos and other crap. Fine, I get it, you don't like Islam or Muslims. Frankly, fuck you.
I'm sick of anti-Islam and anti-Muslim rhetoric. Earlier this year it was all anti-immigration. What's it gonna be in another few months? Anti-Native Americans? Anti-Asian? Hating others for the actions of a few jackasses is hilarious to me. Like I should hate all Breeders because of Fred Phelps? Fuck that. Get over your blind hate and engage that three pounds of gray matter in your skull.

That is all.

Happy 9-11!!!

Live what you preach!

This is for those of you shitfucks who have sent out that damned anti-Muslim e-mail. Fucking die, all of you. Spreading hate is the worst evidence of the unevolved.

http://www.jesusisaliberal.org/Z_091705_9-11_Koran_Hoax.html

Koran Verse 9-11 Hoax
(A Brief Summary)
How Can We Stop Spreading Hate
and start Living Our Values?
April 26, 2007

In an ideal world, we would no longer have hate mongering and we would not spread hate, but rather would live our values. Even in this
non-perfect world we can try to stop the spread of hate, live our values and create the world we want to live in - which is why, in light of
the on-going Koran 9-11 hoax - also called the Quran 9:11 hoax - we write this post today.

There has been a "Koran 9:11" email hoax spreading across the web for the past 5 years that says - in short - that the Koran, verse 9:11
predicts that the rise of Osama Bin Laden, the attack on the USA on 9-11, and the American responses of attacking Afghanistan and Iraq.

We have received this Hoax email at least 12 times in the past 5 years - and we just received it again today. The fact is that someone
probably started the chain again on the anniversary of President Bush's claim 3 years ago of "Mission Accomplished". Because we
have received this Koran 9:11 hoax email yet again it again, this page is being dedicated to debunking a Christian / Conservative
religious and social bigotry contained in this Anti-Islamic Koran 9:11 hoax email.

According to the "Koran 9:11" email, verse 9:11 from the Koran - the Islamic Holy Book - says that a Son of Arabia will do something bad
that will awaken a fearsome Eagle. And that the wrath of this Eagle will be felt throughout the lands of Allah. The connotation, of course,
is that the Islamic Fundamentalist Osama Bin Laden (the Son of Arabia) has attacked America (the Eagle) and that the wrath of the
Eagle will be felt in the lands of Allah; i.e. - the US will attack Afghanistan and Iraq.

The implication is that the Koran predicts not only Osama's attack, but it also predicts (and thus justifies) the US invasions of
Afghanistan and Iraq. This email and the Koran passage quoted is big fat lie, a distortion of another people's Holy Book and a flat out
Hoax.

A comparison of the Hoax Email and the true Koran passage prove this 100% a hoax.

Text of the Koran 9:11 Hoax email (in Blue):

Interesting Study, please read all the way to the end. VERY INTERESTING!

1. The garden of Eden was in Iraq.
2. Mesopotamia, which is now Iraq, was the cradle of civilization!
3. Noah built the ark in Iraq.
4. The Tower of Babel was in Iraq.
5. Abraham was from Ur, which is in Southern Iraq!
6. Isaac's wife Rebekah is from Nahor, which is in Iraq!
7. Jacob met Rachel in Iraq.
8. Jonah preached in Nineveh - which is in Iraq.
9. Assyria, which is in Iraq, conquered the ten tribes of Israel.
10. Amos cried out in Iraq!
11. Babylon, which is in Iraq, destroyed Jerusalem.
12. Daniel was in the lion's den in Iraq!
13. The three Hebrew children were in the fire in Iraq (Jesus had been in Iraq also as the fourth person in the fiery furnace!)
14. Belshazzar, the King of Babylon saw the "writing on the wall" in Iraq.
15. Nebuchadnezzar, King of Babylon, carried the Jews captive into Iraq.
16. Ezekiel preached in Iraq.
17. The wise men were from Iraq.
18. Peter preached in Iraq.
19. The "Empire of Man" described in Revelation is called Babylon, which was a city in Iraq!

And you have probably seen this one. Israel is the nation most often mentioned in the Bible. But do you know which nation is
second? It is Iraq! However, that is not the name that is used in the Bible. The names used in the Bible are Babylon, Land of
Shinar, and Mesopotamia. The word Mesopotamia means between the two rivers, more exactly between the Tigris and
Euphrates Rivers. The name Iraq, means country with deep roots.

Indeed Iraq is a country with deep roots and is a very significant country in the Bible. No other nation, except Israel, has more
history and prophecy associated it than Iraq. And also... This is something to think about! Since America is typically
represented by an eagle. Saddam should have read up on his Muslim passages...

The following verse is from the Koran, (the Islamic Bible)

Koran (9:11) - For it is written that a son of Arabia would awaken a fearsome Eagle. The wrath of the Eagle would be
felt throughout the lands of Allah and lo, while some of the people trembled in despair still more rejoiced; for the
wrath of the Eagle cleansed the lands of Allah; and there was peace.

(Note the verse number!) Hmmmmmmm?! God Bless you all Amen !


Here are links that further debunk this email hoax:

www.snopes.com/politics/war/quran.asp
www.truthorfiction.com/rumors/k/koran-war.htm
www.islamicity.com/mosque/QURAN/9.htm
http://urbanlegends.about.com/library/bl_quran_911.htm


Actual Text of the Koran 9:11 (in Red):

Koran (9:11) - But if they repent and keep up prayer and pay the poor-rate, they are your
brethren in faith; and We make the communications clear for a people who know.


Here are links that show English translations of the Holy Koran (or Quran) that further prove the email a hoax:

www.hti.umich.edu/cgi/k/koran/koran-idx?type=DIV0&byte=282392
www.al-sunnah.com/call_to_islam/quran/pickthall/surah9.html
http://isgkc.org/translat.htm
www.islam.tc/cgi-bin/quran/qsearch.pl?surah=9


Please help stop the spread of Hoaxes - especially those that foster hate, religious bigotry, racism and fear.

Live your values!

Peace -

Paul

Back and ranting!

Been hiding out for a while, have had some pseudo-drama and real drama come up that yelled for my attention. Try and avoid the shit and yet it keeps dragging me back into the thick of things. UGH!

So, its my birthday weekend and I'm off work for four days and I'm loving it! Bought six Sir Arthur C. Clarke books at a local used book store for a grand total of $14.67! The titles I picked up I either never heard of or hadn't had the luck to find anywhere else. Thank the Book Gods for used book stores, you can really find gems. All the books are from the 1950's but are re-releases from the 1960's, so the inside covers tell me anyway. Gonna so get me read on!

But more to the reason I'm on here today, this Al-Qur'an burning bulldren going on. Frankly, I see an Al-Qur'an burning, I'm burning a fucking Holy Bible! Get as good as you give fuckers! I am as anti-book burning as you can get, but in this case I'll make an exception. And I love the excuse that this Holy Book doesn't claim Jesus as Lord, so it must be the work of Lucifer. Umm...yeah...well the Jewish people don't claim Jesus either, and you kind always seem to blame them for Jesus' crucifixion, so why not burn a Torah? Oh, wait. Yeah, that's sort of your Old Testament. And how the frak can you be so thrilled that Jesus died for your sins yet hold a group of people responsible for his death? Seems confusing and hypocritical to me. You can't have it both ways!

I just don't get people anymore, if I ever really did. And this Al-Qur'an burning has been planned for a while and now it's all news, 'cause of this being an Election Year and a Wedge Issue. What I don't get is why the media is falling into the trap of giving this moron attention when they know what the reaction(s) going to be. It's like they want it to happen so that you won't pay attention to the real issues of job loss, a failing economy and Repuklicunt stupidity.

And I love how people in The United States are using the protests in the Muslim countries as rhetoric that all Muslims hate The USA. NO THEY DON'T!!! They do not understand how we and the government can seemingly allow such a thing. When you don't have the amount of freedoms and lack of governmental interference, as we enjoy here, then you just don't get it and it can't be explained. I'm not downing anyone from those countries. It's just that they live a different life than I, and the rest of The United States populace, do. That's all it is. They expect our government to swoop in, arrest people and stop the burnings. They don't get that these dumb frak crazy anti-Christ Christians have the right to do this under our Constitution. But just 'cause you have the right, doesn't mean it's the right thing to do.
Come on! Sarah Palin (a.k.a. IglooCunt) is against this! Shouldn't that tell you it's a bad idea?!?!?! And this non-Pastor is all about "...if God tells me not to do it, then I won't.." argument? Dude, the vast majority of the country and world is telling you it's a bad idea, take that as your 'God telling you' moment!!!

However, as a Pagan, I'm just entertained by the smallest common denominator of all this religious bulldren; We're fighting to see who's the most peaceful religion by killing everyone else. That's basically what's going on. Get a fuckin' clue!!!

And by-the-way, 9-11 was a joke because the Bushit and Company Administration knew, supposedly, that an attack was coming, allegedly from an outside source, but they did nothing to stop it 'cause it was justification to get Saddam and free oil. I still don't believe it was an outside attack and am of the opinion it was a False Flag Operation.

And then there's this whole cop killing a deaf Native American in Seattle! Holy frak!!! Shot four times in the chest?!?! I bet the arse of a cop was thinking he was Mexican. But still, the fact that this happened is sickening! What, I got ear buds in or my blue tooth ear piece and can't hear a cop yelling at me so I get four bullets in me? So much for 'To Serve and Protect' anymore since it seems to be 'To Oppress and Enslave'.

http://www.gopetition.com/petition/38960.html Go sign the petition!

It's really Arma-goddamn-motherfuckin-geddon out there. With all the press Seattle Police have been getting, I'm not visiting there. Fuck that. I wanna live without lead poisoning! Fucking cunts.

I just generally hate everyone and everything right now.

But still, Happy Birthday to me!

And I think I have actually watched too much porn in a single day...never thought I'd ever say that! O_o

Why try, just do

I am trying REALLY hard to be the bigger and better person. I am! It isn't working out all that well. I find myself reverting back to me evil ways. I don't know why I try and be good and decent, it's so fucking hard!!! It's easy to be evil and follow my nature.

I think I'm just gonna go with the Fuck It All Option and just be who I am. Certain people (no matter my love, loyalty and care for them) don't deserve special treatment. Not anymore.

It's time for Evil Fag to come out for some fresh air...

STFU

I am fucking sick and tired of this whole 'Mosque at Ground Zero' bullshit. Build the fucking thing and be done with it! It's called Religious Freedom!!! For fuck sake people, it's a place of worship! What about all the churches around the fucking planet that have been built at sacred native sites or at places where Christians landed to start the work of converting people over? Or to commemorate the genocide of an entire people, culture and/or religion because what those things didn't represent was Christianity?

Jesus weeps for you fuckers!

Ya know, after World War 2, I don't recall the history books talking about how Germans couldn't leave Germany or that there was this massive revolt to all things German. Let's face it, they allowed the killing of 6-12 (some say 21) million people! If any group deserves to be demonized, it's Germans. Does that make me racist? Or just a culturalist asshole like the rest of you?!?!

Yes, thousands died on September 11th of 2001. Not all of them where American and Christian. Many countries lost someone. As did many faiths. This may, MAY, have been an attack by Muslim Extremists. I still think it was planned and executed by Americans to push us to war.

Read this to see what I mean, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/False_flag

Either way, September 11th succeeded in one thing, it created an environment to sow the seeds of hate and fear of all things Islam. Fuck that and you if you've fallen for that trick.

The United States of America jailed thousands of Japanese-Americans in WW2. We've raped and pillaged this land from the Native Americans and continue to do so. We held onto slavery for greed and profit and still hate and demonize those who are the descendants of those slaves. We've not apologized. We've not even bothered to fix the wrongs we created. Yet we are so fucking righteous about hating and fighting Islam because of the supposed actions of a few idiots.

What about The Unabomber? Or Timothy McVeigh? Why are these terrorists seemingly alright but browned skin toned ones aren't? Well, they must be alright, they are just misguided Americans, how could I be so stupid. They ain't forigeners. Oops, my bad.

Fucking cunts.

Why doesn't anyone in the USA ever take notice that the seemingly vast majority of home grown terrorists are white, male and Christian? KKK, Christian paramilitary groups, CIA, child molesters, etc. Why, WHY is this ignored?

I'm not saying that extremism in Islam doesn't exists, it does. But extremism exists in all religions and groups. Gay, straight, Christian, Jewish, Mormon, Scientology, Pagan/Wiccan, Feminists. Hell, for fuck sake, we created Osama bin Laden! We made the Taliban and Saddam!!! We gave them the tools and education. Then we dumped 'em when they where no longer useful to us. Typical.

So build the Center in Manhattan! If anything, it isn't a slap in the face to those who died that day but a slap in the face to the supposed terrorists who allegedly killed all those people because they didn't win! Not allowing it to be built gives them the victory and the power. Don't you get it? Bombing us or throwing planes into buildings doesn't kill or tear down The United States. We are doing the job for them! All it took was one day of terror and fear. One day. And we have over-reacted to the point that we are slowly deconstructing our Constitution. We are in fear of any Muslim, or those we think may be. We don't need Islamic Extremists to destroy and take our freedom, we are doing it to ourselves. Just a little fear in the right places makes you act like Chicken Little's. And you aren't stopping to look at who's really winning in all this. The rich! Plain and simple, the rich are winning because this fear is lining their pockets like nothing else has. Congrats USA, you've done what they wanted. You've made them richer by being stupid and controllable.

The builing of this Mosque is a testament to our Founding Fathers, The First Amendment, to The United States of America, to those who died nine years ago and to us. Building this Mosque solidifies our belief in religious freedom and freedom in general.

This is just like putting Gay Marriage up for a vote. When the majority (silent minority) votes on the rights of a minority (a group of people), you lose your Democracy and Freedom and replace it with Fascism. Because as soon as the majority (vocal minority) finishes with the LGBT 'Community' and Muslims, then they'll start coming after everyone else who disagrees with them, the minority (a.k.a. the silent majority).

Welcome to the start of a Christian Dominion, The Christian States of America or Jesusland.

Like I said, Jesus weeps for you fuckers. Most Christians these days are the anti-Christ they've supposedly been preparing to fight. And I don't pity any of you who help in the chaos you're starting.

You reap what you sow.

The Wonderful World of Me

OK, so it's been a while. What-the-fuck-ever, I've been trying to get to it.

So, I went to go see 'Metropolis' at a local indie movie theatre recently. This version of the film, originally debuted in 1927, was as fully restored as can be expected. The movie was originally 153 minutes long when it first debuted in Berlin, Wiemar Republic(Germany), but is now 147 minutes. For years, it was only 90 minutes due to what was cut for the American release was lost. But over the years, parts have been found and in June of 2008 in Argentina, a copy of the whole version was found, but unfortunately 6 minutes couldn't be recovered due to it being too deteriorated.

But let me say that what I saw was more amazing than the 90 minute version I've seen!! For a silent film (with the original score preformed by orchestra) it was better than most of what Whorewood has put out in recent years. And it was the most expensive Silent Film made! If you ever see it, you'll see why. But it also it the most influential Sci-Fi Film of all time. It set the stage for 'Blade Runner' and 'The Matrix' Trilogy and has been the main influence of Queen's "Radio Ga Ga" and Madonna's "Express Yourself" videos. Trust me, see this newly restored version.

Well, this weekend has been a major blast and I've had so much fun. Just me and The Hubby, we needed it.

Friday after work, we went to a local Japanese place called Sekisui and ate some good sushi. Love me some sushi!! And Sekisui has the best that I've had in St. Louis thus far. And the sake ain't too bad either.

Then Saturday the Hubby and I went to Pere Marquette Park in Grafton, Illinois. It's a beautiful park with great views from the river bluffs. We played a game of chess on the floor of The Main Lodge, Hubby won. I say on the floor since the board is about 15 feet by 15 feet and the pieces are the size of kids. It's the first time I've ever gotten the chance to do that in all the years I've been going there, so much fun. I love chess, not that I'm the best, I just love playing it. After that, we went into Grafton itself and walked around. It's a great little town on the Mississippi. And the drive on The Great River Road there and back are beautiful with eagles and hawks flying overhead and the Mississippi on one side.

When we got home, we didn't go out since we where done looking at the inside of a car. But we ate good at a local Vietnamese place called Mekong. Then off to our favorite place in our neighborhood, MoKaBe's, a local LGBT owned and operated coffeehouse. It's our home away from home.

But today was the icing on the cake! We went to Crown Candy in Old North City. Holy fucking Gods! The food is always good, but it is the malts that make the trip so worth it! No where will you find a better malt, hands down. The Hubby has been around the world, thanks to his years in the military, and he has said that there's not a better malt to be found anywhere. We got some candy there (they make their own chocolate!). We got two bags of string licorice, a bag of retro candy (it's got Mary Jane[not that kind!] and Cow Tail candy in it) and half a pound of dark chocolate Nonpareil (my absolute favorite candy!!!). So good!

Still have the rest of our Sunday to get through and I'm loving where it's heading already! All is well in my world and I'm actually happy and relaxed from the first time in quite a while. It's nice, but I'm so not used to it, so I'm a little paranoid. But I'm rolling with it. At the least, it's been a mana building weekend. Need more like this.

While I'm writing this I'm listening to some good music and digesting, building more mana and just loving my weekend. Now I'm thinking it may be good to nap for a few. Maybe, we'll see. May go for a walk, it's finally nice out and not 100 degrees with 90% or more humidity. But then, it's St. Louis. If you don't like the weather, wait a few minutes, it'll change.

Worries about The Hubby

I'm worried about my Hubby.

About five or six weeks ago he went to Rochester, New York to visit his twin brother for a week. It was great for them both. I thought it was a wonderful idea. The problem has come up just within the last week or so, that I've noticed. Hubby has tried to get in touch with The Twin, to no avail.

They haven't spoken since the trip and Hubby is thinking he did something wrong to piss of The Twin. I got the same issue when there's no contact after a while with those I'm close to, I start thinking I did something wrong.

After a 30 year separation, these two reconnect on Facebook and start the process of getting to know each other again. And I tell you, I couldn't have been more happy for them both when they reconnected. I mean, come on, you're a twin who hasn't seen your 'other self' since you where 10?! Who wouldn't be happy for you?

And he's tried to get in touch with The Twin, for weeks now. And nothing. Not a quick e-mail or call saying "Hey, still alive, just got crazy busy" or "Sorry I didn't get back with you, something came up." Not even an Instant Message or a snail mail letter!

I can see how it hurts and irks The Hubby. Fuck, I'd feel the same way in his shoes. I do hope all is well on that end of the relationship and that The Twin is just super busy. But still, in my opinion, a quick five minute call isn't too much to do for your long lost/recently found twin. But that's me. I don't know the situation or circumstances. And that's fair to say. I also get life can get hellish (believe me, I know). However, I just don't see what can be so hectic and time consuming that at some point in your day that you can't drop a line. Again, that's just me.

If you got time to read a non-related (to whatever it is your doing) blog/article/news feed or watch a video somewhere on the Net or even play a video game/MMORPG of some sort, then you got the time to call/e-mail your twin.

I'm just sayin'.

Comment on comments 3

I have to say to the lovely stalker Anonymous, I know who you are. Or at least I got a real good idea who you may be. There really wasn't much of a list to pick from.

Also, I have to say;
1. Thank you for stalking me, I enjoy feeling wanted
2. The power you give me is great, due to the cowardice in your lack of identification. While I have an idea of who you are, there is a thrill in not knowing my fan. Love a good mystery.
3. The sheer weirdness of you is great, I love it.
4. With your comments, they show a lot about you. That's the great thing about the Net and the anonymity it gives, it allows people to show the innermost working of themselves with this idea that they can be anonymous. But your not, provided I'm right in who I think you are Anonymous.

At the end of the day, you keep showing your obsession with me. However, I encourage it at the same time. I'm an attention whore, what can I say?

Oh, by the way, that comment on being an idiot for Islamism? Um, Islam would have worked much better than Islamism. Mind you, I do not support that comment and the only reason I allowed it to go up was to show the sheer stupidity of your own idiot status. Frankly, changing some words here and there in that comment can easily be made to show how people can be an idiot for Christianism. Oh, wait. Better to use Christianity. We must be correct in how we use words, one doesn't want to be viewed as a total moron when giving a dissertation on how one sees the world.

Unless you're me and just don't give a fuck.

So Anonymous, keep on stalking me and leaving comments. I feel all pretty when you do. Smooches!

Racist FOX un-News and an apology

Why the fuck do people believe FOX "NEWS"? They have continually shown the ability to twist the truth into a total lie and sell it, then to turn around and wonder why people believed that lie when they get caught or the story they 'broke' is just well edited bullshit.

The story on Shirley Sharrod was nothing more than a well thought out and executed attack on the NAACP for calling out the racism in the Tea Party. She is a victim of political bullshit! And why did it work so well as to fool the NAACP? Because in this country, in this day and age, we still want to dog out a black woman because it's easy to do. That's why people are still saying they can't wait to see the 'real' Michelle Obama. What is the 'real' they are referring to? The ghetto queen we've all seen on TV, that's who! I am sick of how black women are the eternal source of media ratings and sensationalism because we as Americans don't seem to value them as people, just as entertainment. That is fucking crap!

This fucking cunt Andrew Breitbart needs to be brought up on slander charges for one and admit he's a fucking liar secondly. This jackass may not be a racist, but he is a conservative waste of DNA who lies to get his views out on a national scale. Even a fucking FOX "NEWS" non-journalist said he isn't credible! If a FOX non-journalist says not to this clown, shouldn't you?

FOX "NEWS" has ruined a Presidential election, brought down an organization that helped minorities (and got them registered to vote, no wonder the Repuklicunts wanted it de-funded) and now they've ruined the life of a woman just to get back to the NAACP! They seem to be on a mission from Rupert Murdoch, an Australian, to keep the fires of racism in AmeriKKKa burning bright. This fuck seems so damn determined to bring back 'Separate but Equal', segregation and Jim Crow and I want to know why! FOX needs to be shut down for all the shit they spew.
What scares me and worries me more than anything are the dumb shitfuckcunts who believe everything coming from FOX "NEWS" and its shows! I do not get how they can stand by a network who so transparently went from attacking a woman based on very little information, that was never seemingly investigated on even an elementary level, to going 180 and wondering why everyone jumped the gun on a story that wasn't investigated in the first place! Un-fucking-believable!!!

I could go on, but it's clear that I'd just start repeating myself.

Let me say this to all the black folk out there;
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry that white people seem to still have a knee jerk reaction to you. I'm sorry that the vocal minority won't shut up and that the silent majority won't speak up and show you that not all white people are negrophobic. I, however, don't assume that a black person dressed a certain way is a thug or criminal. I don't assume that a black woman is a ghetto queen or ready to be loud and fight. I am not my parents.
I am sorry about the white people who steal from you all the time. And not material things, but cultural. Rap, hip-hop, rock n' roll, R&B. I'm sorry that white people don't have a rich enough culture or heritage to feel secure in. It seems that the only culture and heritage we have to inherit is one filled with blood, genocide, slavery, rape and the total extermination of cultures and societies. And from this, white people assume privilege and superiority because we've historically forced ourselves to be on top of everything.
Yet at the same time, white people try and be black. From stealing music styles, to slang to whatever they can. All falling back on the fact that white people don't have a significant enough heritage or culture to rely on. Why? Because white people have destroyed cultures, religions, languages and societies and thus have killed their own.

I'm not one of these fucking cunts. And I never will be. I reject my privilege, it does nothing but set me up for failure to be a decent person who thinks. I reject all the bullshit I was brought up with. My skin tone doesn't make me better then anyone.

Fuck FOX "NEWS". Fuck Andrew Breitbart. Fuck white privilege. Fuck racism.

Comment on comments 2

OK. So there's this anonymous person who's authoring the most informative comments on recent blog posts of mine. At first, I thought that they had nothing to do with my blog. Not so much anymore. I think that whoever is posting these comments are trying to get points across to me about how they see me. It's cool.

Angst? I can give you that one. If you worked in the dehumanizing environment I did, you'd be full of angst too. And I know most jobs come across as that or that's how we see them, I do. However, trust me when I say that where I work takes the cake and gold star in dehumanizing their employees.

Autistic? Part of me wants to throw out a fuck you, but I won't. I feel that this one was thrown around in the same manner as people throw around "retard" or "retarded". However, that doesn't mean that it intentionally was. So I'll give you a free pass.
I will say that there's the possibility I could be autistic. Autism is a spectrum of "disorders", so ADD and ADHD could easily fall under it. I bring that up because my Hubby has ADD, so does that make him autistic? May explain some thing if it was true. Or that person we all know who sits in front of the computer with all their free time doing nothing with their life but playing an MMORPG? World of Warcraft and Everquest come to mind. I know a few folks like this, but most of them don't come across as autistic, just Gamers. There are exceptions. I'm sure some shrink would label that lifestyle as a symptom of Asperger's. I'm willing to bet a vast majority of people could fall under the spectrum of autism, considering that our 'society' is so focused and obsessed with labels and 'disorders'.

However, until I am officially checked out by a 'professional', I'll just take these comments under advisement and as a form of entertaining education on things I didn't know about. So keep 'em coming Anonymous, this is fun! However, I sure do wish that you'd leave your name so I can thank you properly. It's only fair, polite and respectful. Though, if you don't, I'm cool with that too. Haven't had a stalker in a while. I do enjoy the attention. Smooches!

A good-bye, maybe...

As I sit home this fine, hot Saturday evening, I realize that I'm bored out of my head. Not a bad bored, but a restless bored. But then, it seems I'm just not worthy of consideration by some people. Not that I need people to have fun. But an idea or something that I haven't considered is nice to have, that's why I look forward to being around those I call 'friend'.

Friend. That's a bitter word for me right now. I have those I still consider 'friend' but I'm really starting to doubt that they still consider me that. I want people, friends, who want to see me, to call me because they can. But I think that it's at the point that the only way I get contacted is because they feel that they need to because I say something about it, such as here. If that's the case, save yourself the minutes and battery power.

I'm not innocent and never say that I am. I'm to blame for lack of communications, but that's been established a few posts ago. I've gotten what I need sorted out all sorts of sorted. However, why is it that the calls and texts slowly trickled to nothing? Did I do or say something? Was it something I did? How the fuck am I supposed to know if communication has died?

But it doesn't matter. Maybe it really is time to move on to new people. I wish it wasn't and I hope it isn't. These people are such a lifeline for me, or they have been. I just don't know anymore. Maybe they made a choice for me that I wasn't willing to make myself. Maybe they've had enough, for whatever reason, of The Hubby and cut us both off since I wouldn't pick them over him. If that's the case, then I never needed them in my life to begin with. If you can't accept the man I've made a deep commitment with, not a few week fling, then fuck you.

Don't call me because you read this and feel that now you have to because I've said something. Don't call me out of concern all the sudden either, that'll just piss me off. I'm so used to no calls or not calling when you've said you would. I'm used to being brushed aside at this point.

So now I'm just going to sort out my life more than I thought I would. I'm sorry I'm not cool or worthy or a consideration anymore. I'll just hang with the others who've been treated the same. I don't need to mention names, I'm sure you know who they are.

Comment on comments

I'd like to say that the one thing that really pisses me off about people leaving comments is the ability to do so anonymously. Frankly, that's a cowards way out. If you're not on Blogger, then if you wanna leave a comment, leave your name. I don't care if it's good or bad, I'd just like to know who likes me or hates me.
I will say that I may not allow it to be posted, since I review them all. Like this one I just got saying a basic good-bye and hoping we never cross paths again and that I get to keep the 'retard'. What the fuck?! That last word, retard, that is why I didn't allow it to go up. I don't know who your cowardly ass was referring to, but I hope it wasn't who I think it is. Also, my dear Uncle Ricky, who died almost four years ago, was mentally "retarded". I do not take kindly to that word being used to describe anyone or anything as either stupid or useless. If that's the language you want to use, so be it. However, I don't have to support it or allow it on my blog. And it speaks volumes about you, you fucking shitfuckcunt!

After effect

Ya know something? Ranting is a wonderful thing. What sucks about it, for me anyway, is that once I get it all out, I feel shitty. There's space there for depression to kick in. Guess it's the balance working itself out. Still though, it sucks.

I feel better and justified once I rant, or have a really good blog that makes a point. But then I get depressed for a few days. I don't mind it, I'm used to it. I just would like to not feel bad once I'm done. However, getting all that anger and stress out is worth it.

Now, once The Hubby and I get groceries done with, we're gonna go to a local Sculpture Park and I'm gonna pound out my depression on the trail there that goes back into the woods. If that doesn't work, there's a nice 2-3 mile trail around a lake not too far from there. It'll take me about an hour or two, but I'm sure I can fully pound out my depression.

I'd fuck it out, but having a cold sore on the inside of your mouth suck major ass! Love my man, wanna fuck til our brains fall out, but I ain't giving him genital herpes. So a walking I will go.

...damn herpes...

Fuck you

OK, this one's been building. It started as just directionless stress and pisstivity, but then I got something to focus it on and then the valves turned and opened.

I can't fucking stand stupid little shitfuckcunts who act as if they are better than you. I got this friend who is of the opinion that my blog is bullshit. Plain and simple. That this is some lie or falsehood that I put out to make people think something is true when it isn't. Fuck that. I've always said that my blog postings are my way to vent out what builds up. This is a fucking place for me to let go, no limits or restraints. No holding back. This is the best form of therapy. It's cathartic. It's my Temple, in a way. A place for me to balance out the shitty and the good.

Guess some folks just can't handle that.

I had posted on Facebook that I wanted to rant on here, but had no inspiration. So, this friend takes this to mean that this is all bullshit. Really? Like you've never been mad, but had nothing to focus it on just to get it out? Yeah, cuz you're somehow fucking perfect like that. Fuck you!

I can't stand when people have to have this opinion of themselves that they are somehow better than someone and that they are always right because of it. I know for a fucking fact that I'm not better than anyone. Sure, I consider myself more evolved, but not better. I'm just as fucked up as everyone else. The difference is that I know it, acknowledge it and say it out loud for people to hear it. Or read it in this case.

And this friend has this opinion that she's better, in some way or another, and that she's always right about it. When in reality, she's no better than the people she looks down at. Hell, most times, she's worse. She's the ultimate hoosier, but I don't think she sees it that way. She acts like a wild woman at times but then can turn around and talk shit about someone because of a fault of theirs.

You think this is fake and bullshit? Fine. Fuck you. I think you think too highly of yourself and should be brought down a few levels. Til then, kiss my ass and fuck off.

I gotta get some more shit out. You knew it was gonna happen.

So, today I posted on my Facebook wall: "...has come to the conclusion I'm no longer wanted. Not by my Hubby, but by others in my life, friends and those I'm cool with. I'm cool with that. Just gotta find new people is all. Taking time away to get my own backyard in order backfired it seems. Guess people forget you after a while."

I've kinda became a hermit due to the fact that I had shit to take care of. A lot of personal stuff to sort out and get myself and my life in order. Yeah, not happy about it but it needed to get done. In that time, I haven't seen my friends all that much. It sucks. But still, it had to be done.

So now, I'm wanting to get out more, so I don't get into a lifestyle of being a hermit. Don't like sitting around not doing anything. Never have. But in all the time I've been in Hermit Mode, I've still stayed in contact with people. However, the reverse isn't always true. And here today on Facebook, I see friends planning stuff and I'm not called. So I got pissed, felt hurt and felt slightly depressed.

I get friends will do stuff that doesn't include everyone. That's how it works. But for some reason, I just felt like nothing to these people. I don't know why. Maybe it's the fact that I've been absent a lot. Who knows? But I still felt ignored. I'd like to think that's valid.

Here's the thing. Even a call to see if I can make it is nice and, in my opinion, respectful. I admit I have a real bad habit of not calling people or calling them back. But there's e-mail and Facebook. E-mail is a sticking point for me cuz some friends seem to have this habit of sending out ideas for stuff to do on the day they want to do it. I don't check my e-mail at work since I don't have access to the net or my own computer to use. When I end up getting home, it's too late. This usually happens on Friday's. There's no prior notice or even a text on my phone to give me an alternative heads up. So more times than not, how can I go out? If I don't think there's plans, I'll make my own with someone else or The Hubby. Can you really blame me?

So I've been a hermit. How does that equate to me becoming ignored? Well, if that's the case, I guess it's time to find new people. Sorry I'm not there every weekend. Sorry I'm not available all the time. And I'm sorry that no one can seem to contact The Hubby when plans are coming together.

That's another thing.

My friends don't seem too thrilled about my man. Yeah, he's got his shortcomings. Who doesn't? But I'm sick of people always coming down on him and then wondering why he doesn't come around.

Sure, I got issues with people that friends date, but if they are happy with them, so be it. I have to live with it and make the best of it. There are times that you have to step in and make your opinion known. It happens. Otherwise, deal with it.

I'm sorry you don't like, or can't stand, the person I want to be with. He makes me happy and fulfills me in a way no one else has. He's annoying at times. He can push my buttons. But he is the ONLY one who can make me laugh at ANY time. No matter my mood. I value that like nothing else. I love him and have worked for 10 years to have a stable, happy and loving relationship with him. It's been rough, hard and tiresome. But we've done it. I look forward to going to bed with him and waking up in the morning and seeing him.

Ten fucking years together! That's longer than most celeBRATies relationships...or careers. And there are times I don't think that my friends respect that. That what we have isn't worth their respect due to their feelings toward my man. Sorry he annoys you and that he bothers you or does something you don't like. Fucking grow a backbone and deal with it! Stand the hell up and talk to him about it instead of coming to me about it and expecting me to deal with it all the fucking time!!!

Ya know, this job in Rochester looks better and better. New place, new friends. Maybe they won't be a bunch of cuntass bitchy fuckin' assholes. If you haven't noticed, I'm sick of it. Maybe that's why I'm not getting called anymore. Or why I don't call or come around as much. Yeah, had my shit to get together, but there may be other motivations under the surface.

I can't do this anymore. If you have issues with The Hubby, call him. I know you got his number. Stand up, deal with it. Or stay seated and SHUT THE FUCK UP! Either way, the ball is in your court. It's all on you to do something. If you don't, then it's apparent that you enjoy the stress/drama of the situation.

I'm fucking done with the stupid shit. I'm done with people. I'm done with shitfuckcunts who wear masks all the time. I'm done trying to figure out what it is I did (blame my Mom for that one). I'm done being a doormat or that idiot loser who waits by the phone. I'm just fucking done with it all.

Stand up, speak out/up and do something about it. Or just stay fucking seated, shut the fucking hell up and learn to either deal with it or move the hell out of my life. I'm not going to have my relationship strained or damaged because you are too weak willed or non-confrontational. If my relationship is going to be damaged in any way, then I'm the one who's gonna be doing the fucking damage!

Fucking shitfuckcunt assholes. I'm sick of this bullshit stress...