So here I am sitting at my favorite place, MoKaBe's Coffeehouse, playing on my brand new tablet with a QWERTY keyboard docking port and a loving life. Still getting used to the sensitive mousepad, but it's an adjustment. Also I should try this on the touchscreen, but one thing at a time.
And the salesman where I got this tried to convince me that I needed an iPad! *rolls eyes* I know what I wanted and his argument was that the iPad has over half a million apps specifically designed for it. *hand to forehead* Yeah dude, cuz that's what drives my purchasing decisions. My only argument, mostly with myself, was whether or not I wanted to spend an additional $100 for 16GB of additional memory built into the thing. In the end I didn't, I just got a $40 16GB micro SD card and called it a day.
I tell ya what though is how fast I've taken to this machine, like a fish to water! Scary, since I tend to dislike technology. Yeah, I know, then why get a tablet? Cuz I want a laptop, but this is cheaper and does all I want without the bells and whistles.
So I'm gonna keep playing with this and see where I end up. Still makes a kickass, if scary at times, weekend all the more better. Felt weird spending the money for this and not a worry that the purchase would hurt me. Can ya tell I'm uber used to being a poor, cash strapped fag?
Later cats!
Sunday, April 29, 2012
God is coming and boy is she pissed!
So today was supposed to be a great day with a chance of rain, 30% "they" said. Lemme break it to you non-St. Louisans; when "they" (the liars called Meteorologists) call for 30% chance of rain, it'll rain. 80% chance? No rain. We only get 100% when there's a storm(s) on the horizon or it's already raining. At 30%, you'll see a St. Louisan with an umbrella handy. Granted when the sky is green, the rain is coming down in waves and sheets and you can't see across the street, there's hail and a tree flying past, you'll tend to see one of us nuts out on the porch or front step watching. Tornado sirens going? We're right there. When the wind and rain stops suddenly, we run inside.
Lovely little phenomenon ain't it?
*pause to sip late night Pepsi*
But that slight chance today turned into Hell! We got winds, rain like a lake was dropped on us, hail and some possible tornadoes! 1 person was killed and over 100 injured at a local bar when a tent got caught in the wind and pushed it into a railroad bridge! The Hubby and I missed a flash flood on a local interstate by 5 minutes and we got out of the hail storm by the skin of our teeth! I fishtailed that car into a gas station and was under cover! That sky went from dark as Hell to green as it can be! The wind hit so hard I swear the car moved and I looked over at The Hubby and just said "Run" and we hightailed it into the station and watched from a window!
Thankfully no tornado or damage to the station, but down the street, some friends where at a grocery store and the management moved everyone into the back and took cover. We don't play! The Good Friday Tornado of 2011 retaught us that one. Thankfully not one person died that day, we call it The Good Friday Miracle. However, one of the 4 tornadoes (an EF2-4, depending on where it was while it traveled) ripped through two counties on the Missouri side of The Mississippi and another county in Illinois. One twister! All while tearing up our airport and leveling several neighborhoods and flipping semi's on the highways. But not one person died, not one! However, I doubt Mama Nature will allow that again. You don't get too many chances during a tornado much less a free pass.
But I'm thinking that this is just the start. We done pissed off Mama Nature with this whole Global Warming. Now look, it is part of the natural cycle of Earth, no doubt there. However, you gotta admit that we Humans aren't helping either. But that's alright, cuz Mama gonna win. We, as a species, are not separate from Her, we are a part of Her and She's gonna remind us of that sooner rather than later.
Until then, y'all gotta duck and cover, bob and weave. Stay outta Her way and She may just leave you be.
Lovely little phenomenon ain't it?
*pause to sip late night Pepsi*
But that slight chance today turned into Hell! We got winds, rain like a lake was dropped on us, hail and some possible tornadoes! 1 person was killed and over 100 injured at a local bar when a tent got caught in the wind and pushed it into a railroad bridge! The Hubby and I missed a flash flood on a local interstate by 5 minutes and we got out of the hail storm by the skin of our teeth! I fishtailed that car into a gas station and was under cover! That sky went from dark as Hell to green as it can be! The wind hit so hard I swear the car moved and I looked over at The Hubby and just said "Run" and we hightailed it into the station and watched from a window!
Thankfully no tornado or damage to the station, but down the street, some friends where at a grocery store and the management moved everyone into the back and took cover. We don't play! The Good Friday Tornado of 2011 retaught us that one. Thankfully not one person died that day, we call it The Good Friday Miracle. However, one of the 4 tornadoes (an EF2-4, depending on where it was while it traveled) ripped through two counties on the Missouri side of The Mississippi and another county in Illinois. One twister! All while tearing up our airport and leveling several neighborhoods and flipping semi's on the highways. But not one person died, not one! However, I doubt Mama Nature will allow that again. You don't get too many chances during a tornado much less a free pass.
But I'm thinking that this is just the start. We done pissed off Mama Nature with this whole Global Warming. Now look, it is part of the natural cycle of Earth, no doubt there. However, you gotta admit that we Humans aren't helping either. But that's alright, cuz Mama gonna win. We, as a species, are not separate from Her, we are a part of Her and She's gonna remind us of that sooner rather than later.
Until then, y'all gotta duck and cover, bob and weave. Stay outta Her way and She may just leave you be.
Saturday, April 28, 2012
You...
Make me love you
Make me hate you
Make me want you
Make me need you
Make me stop you
Make me shop you
Make me can't you
Make me take you
Make me quit you
Make me kiss you
Make me fuck you
Make me suck you
Make me lick you
Make me bend you
Make me shit you
Make me damn you
Make me kill you
Make me wont you
Make me make you
Make me push you
Make me hold you
Make me ride you
Make me read you
Make me peel you
Make me spin you
Make me let you make me...
Make me hate you
Make me want you
Make me need you
Make me stop you
Make me shop you
Make me can't you
Make me take you
Make me quit you
Make me kiss you
Make me fuck you
Make me suck you
Make me lick you
Make me bend you
Make me shit you
Make me damn you
Make me kill you
Make me wont you
Make me make you
Make me push you
Make me hold you
Make me ride you
Make me read you
Make me peel you
Make me spin you
Make me let you make me...
Sunday, April 15, 2012
Not your typical racist rant
There's something that's had my hackles up for a while. And it's nothing one person did to me and frankly nothing I can change on my own. What's got me irked is that I'm a White(ish) guy who willingly takes the local public transit system and I'm looked down upon for it by others who share my skin tone!
Now mind you, St. Louis is a throwback to older days in terms of hardcore classism, racism and segregation. These, at least here, are tied together fairly deeply. Most suburban White folk tend to not pay attention to it and if they do, it's only casually and then they go about they business while complaining about someone playing a 'race card'. I'm one of the exceptions because I grew up in an area that was mostly Black. It's why I feel more comfortable around Black folk and why I can relate to them and understand the racism that goes on daily. I've seen it first hand from my family (paternal side, mostly) and from when I've been the only White person in the group.
I've been told for years that I've got a Black Soul and it's kinda true. But it's due to the exposure I've had to Black folk since I was a baby. I was taught to distrust Blacks, though not directly. You pick up stuff like that through the behaviors of your parents and their actions and inactions. I ignored those teachings. Why? No Black person I've come across has acted like what everyone who doesn't share they skin tone expect them to, based on fear. Are there Black people who act like fools with no home training or respect for themselves and others? You damn right, but there are people like that in every skin tone group, culture, society and what not!
And I've been told I've got to act "less Black" and act "more White". *rolls eyes* What exactly is that? To be ignorant or others, live in fear inside a house I can't afford with several cars I don't need just to keep up an image in an endless charade war with my neighbors? No thank you.
My biggest problem in all this is how I'm looked down upon by other White folk because I take the Metrobus and MetroLink. It's as if they look at me like something is wrong, as if I got two heads or I'm a frak up in life. Like I've lost my license or that I must be jobless thus carless. I'm pitied and frowned upon at the same time.
Not that this is true for all White folk, but it is the majority. Look, I take the local public transit system willingly and without reservation. I save HUNDREDS of dollars every month because I choose to not have a car. Sure, it takes me longer to get home after work but I don't have to deal with stupid drivers, gas prices or the normal worries of car ownership.
You know, I get asked if I feel safe taking the bus and train? As if being around "those people" is a threat! And that's the mindset of the region I live in!! I prefer to live in the city and not suburbia and I get asked the same damn thing because of it. It's as if I'm a defect and I should be pitied because I don't want or do what others who look like me do and I am sick of it!
By taking the bus, I've met some of the most wonderfully kind people I've had the pleasure of coming across. There's a kinship and family feel about those who take the bus/train (regularly), we watch out for one another. I'm also keenly aware of how underfunded the local system is due to views about the system and also because local politicians take money away from it to line either they own pockets or to fund roads that don't get built. They have the money set aside "just in case". Even though voters passed a tax measure to fund the system, politicians take away up to 60% of the funds for other means that don't happen. Why don't people speak out about it? They aren't told, so they don't know. And not everyone has access to the Internet or have a computer or a smartphone. If they can't access where the information is (thank you Paperless Era, ugh!) or know how to find it or are even told about it, then how can they be informed?
And now that the economy is shit and more White folk are taking the transit system, state politicians and The NRA want to pass a measure to allow concealed weapons on the bus and train WITHOUT informing the Transit Authorities in St. Louis or Kansas City! Thankfully the story broke and these authorities are acting against the measure. But it's the point that you want to "protect" White people from "those people", while at the same time you want to keep funding away or servery limited. I don't get 'it', I don't see where the threat is other than your irrationality, fear and prejudice.
Let me say this clearly: I trust those with illegally concealed weapons over those who have permits. Why? Because those who are illegally carrying will think twice before firing a shot while the person whose got a permit expects everyone to be armed thus a threat and ready to mug them and thus won't hesitate (out of fear and the mindset that the law is on they side) to shoot someone whose got a darker complexion than they do.
I am happy without a car and I am happy where I live. I feel as safe as a paranoid person can and I love the public transit system and utilize it with pride. Sure it could be tweaked, but that's always going to be there with shifts in ridership. A problem that this country as a whole has is how behind the Eight Ball we are. We build and expand public transit as a reaction to population growth. What we need to do is get in front of the Eight Ball and build systems on projections of what and where the populations will be in 10 years. So by the time measures are passed and construction is done you're not in a frantic mode to expand and build out of reaction.
We also need a National Public Transit System! And seriously, shut the frak up about Socialist mentalities. We need that in this country! We are not too big to do this because we need it. We need to get ahead of the ball and build a system that can move our population around fast, in an affordable manner and easily. China, Russia, The EU, Canada...they are all doing this and have been for over a decade while we've been scared stupid by the "terrorist threat" that the rest of the world dealt with 20 years ago! Our system is out of date and yet we scream, proclaim and shove it in everyone else's faces about how much better we are and how "America is the best". Yet we can't even fix our own problems of a frail, crumbling and faulty infrastructure; a Health Care system that puts profit over people (don't tell me we can't do Universal Health Care since Russia and China have it in place!); homelessness; joblessness and shipping what jobs we do have overseas; xenophobia and finally our failed political system (i.e. corporate welfare through the corporations actually running this country).
I am sick of the weird reverse racism I get from White people because I speak up and live my life by my rules. I don't accept your veiled pity, I reject your scorn and I fight your hypocrisy! I am not an accurate representation of the White Person you'd like to have me be. Deal with it!
Now mind you, St. Louis is a throwback to older days in terms of hardcore classism, racism and segregation. These, at least here, are tied together fairly deeply. Most suburban White folk tend to not pay attention to it and if they do, it's only casually and then they go about they business while complaining about someone playing a 'race card'. I'm one of the exceptions because I grew up in an area that was mostly Black. It's why I feel more comfortable around Black folk and why I can relate to them and understand the racism that goes on daily. I've seen it first hand from my family (paternal side, mostly) and from when I've been the only White person in the group.
I've been told for years that I've got a Black Soul and it's kinda true. But it's due to the exposure I've had to Black folk since I was a baby. I was taught to distrust Blacks, though not directly. You pick up stuff like that through the behaviors of your parents and their actions and inactions. I ignored those teachings. Why? No Black person I've come across has acted like what everyone who doesn't share they skin tone expect them to, based on fear. Are there Black people who act like fools with no home training or respect for themselves and others? You damn right, but there are people like that in every skin tone group, culture, society and what not!
And I've been told I've got to act "less Black" and act "more White". *rolls eyes* What exactly is that? To be ignorant or others, live in fear inside a house I can't afford with several cars I don't need just to keep up an image in an endless charade war with my neighbors? No thank you.
My biggest problem in all this is how I'm looked down upon by other White folk because I take the Metrobus and MetroLink. It's as if they look at me like something is wrong, as if I got two heads or I'm a frak up in life. Like I've lost my license or that I must be jobless thus carless. I'm pitied and frowned upon at the same time.
Not that this is true for all White folk, but it is the majority. Look, I take the local public transit system willingly and without reservation. I save HUNDREDS of dollars every month because I choose to not have a car. Sure, it takes me longer to get home after work but I don't have to deal with stupid drivers, gas prices or the normal worries of car ownership.
You know, I get asked if I feel safe taking the bus and train? As if being around "those people" is a threat! And that's the mindset of the region I live in!! I prefer to live in the city and not suburbia and I get asked the same damn thing because of it. It's as if I'm a defect and I should be pitied because I don't want or do what others who look like me do and I am sick of it!
By taking the bus, I've met some of the most wonderfully kind people I've had the pleasure of coming across. There's a kinship and family feel about those who take the bus/train (regularly), we watch out for one another. I'm also keenly aware of how underfunded the local system is due to views about the system and also because local politicians take money away from it to line either they own pockets or to fund roads that don't get built. They have the money set aside "just in case". Even though voters passed a tax measure to fund the system, politicians take away up to 60% of the funds for other means that don't happen. Why don't people speak out about it? They aren't told, so they don't know. And not everyone has access to the Internet or have a computer or a smartphone. If they can't access where the information is (thank you Paperless Era, ugh!) or know how to find it or are even told about it, then how can they be informed?
And now that the economy is shit and more White folk are taking the transit system, state politicians and The NRA want to pass a measure to allow concealed weapons on the bus and train WITHOUT informing the Transit Authorities in St. Louis or Kansas City! Thankfully the story broke and these authorities are acting against the measure. But it's the point that you want to "protect" White people from "those people", while at the same time you want to keep funding away or servery limited. I don't get 'it', I don't see where the threat is other than your irrationality, fear and prejudice.
Let me say this clearly: I trust those with illegally concealed weapons over those who have permits. Why? Because those who are illegally carrying will think twice before firing a shot while the person whose got a permit expects everyone to be armed thus a threat and ready to mug them and thus won't hesitate (out of fear and the mindset that the law is on they side) to shoot someone whose got a darker complexion than they do.
I am happy without a car and I am happy where I live. I feel as safe as a paranoid person can and I love the public transit system and utilize it with pride. Sure it could be tweaked, but that's always going to be there with shifts in ridership. A problem that this country as a whole has is how behind the Eight Ball we are. We build and expand public transit as a reaction to population growth. What we need to do is get in front of the Eight Ball and build systems on projections of what and where the populations will be in 10 years. So by the time measures are passed and construction is done you're not in a frantic mode to expand and build out of reaction.
We also need a National Public Transit System! And seriously, shut the frak up about Socialist mentalities. We need that in this country! We are not too big to do this because we need it. We need to get ahead of the ball and build a system that can move our population around fast, in an affordable manner and easily. China, Russia, The EU, Canada...they are all doing this and have been for over a decade while we've been scared stupid by the "terrorist threat" that the rest of the world dealt with 20 years ago! Our system is out of date and yet we scream, proclaim and shove it in everyone else's faces about how much better we are and how "America is the best". Yet we can't even fix our own problems of a frail, crumbling and faulty infrastructure; a Health Care system that puts profit over people (don't tell me we can't do Universal Health Care since Russia and China have it in place!); homelessness; joblessness and shipping what jobs we do have overseas; xenophobia and finally our failed political system (i.e. corporate welfare through the corporations actually running this country).
I am sick of the weird reverse racism I get from White people because I speak up and live my life by my rules. I don't accept your veiled pity, I reject your scorn and I fight your hypocrisy! I am not an accurate representation of the White Person you'd like to have me be. Deal with it!
100 years later
April 15th, 1912 at 2:20am, The RMS Titanic, an Olympic-class ocean liner, sank into the ocean just two and a half hours after hitting an iceberg. She took with her 1,514 souls to the bottom of the ocean. 710 survived in partially filled lifeboats, capable of holding almost 500 more people.
The sinking of the Unsinkable caused outrage, sorrow and change. In 1914, The International Convention for the Safety of Life at Sea (SOLAS) Treaty went into effect. This ensured that enough lifeboats where to be on board all ships along with other safety regulations and constant radio contact. This treaty has been revised 4 times since.
If you can't tell, I'm a tad bit obsessed with The Titanic. I have been since the news broke on September 1st or 2nd of 1985 when Dr. Robert Ballard discovered the wreck. It has fascinated me in ways I can't explain, it's just one of those things in life that you gravitate to. Though the opulence of the ship, the grandeur, is awe inspiring. Trans-Atlantic ships are a lost art and the Titanic was the peak of the art form.
I've seen most of the movies about the ship, have read a couple books and own several pictorial history ones. I was lucky enough to see "Titanic" before the national release in 1997. For me, it was never about the romance. It was about the ship and how the movie showed the most accurate sinking of the Titanic, at the time. New evidence has since come to light.
Every time I see the movie, I cry and cry hard. And usually never for the Jack/Rose love affair (it happens sometimes!) but more for those who died needlessly. To see how they suffered hits me hard. I can watch the sinking of the ship on YouTube and tear up. And this re-release of the movie in 3D has me a bit pissed. Reason is that I can't even go see it on the 100th Anniversary of the sinking because I can't watch 3D movies due to my eyes! A happy fanatic this does not make.
I'm a firm believer that the site of the wreck should be protected by an international mandate. The trash dumped there and taking of artifacts is paramount to graver robbery and desecration. If I had the money, prestige and fame, I'd back this movement full force. The Titanic disaster changed the world and it should be honored accordingly.
Another thing is that The Titanic symbolizes, in a microcosm, Human civilization. You have different classes of people with the top class wanting for nothing while riding on the backs of the lower classes. When disaster strikes, the top class has an unobstructed access to safety with little to no consideration of those "lower" than them. This doesn't change until a major disaster or catastrophe happens. And even then, most times it changes just enough to appease the masses. This has happened before, it will happen again until the masses make the cycle stop and create a new one where everyone is safe, regardless of class.
So, here it is 100 years later to the day. I remember and I'll never forget. The Ship of Dreams will live on as a lesson and a legend. To the survivors who've all since passed on, to those who didn't survive the night 100 years ago and to the RMS Titanic itself...may you all Rest In Peace.
The sinking of the Unsinkable caused outrage, sorrow and change. In 1914, The International Convention for the Safety of Life at Sea (SOLAS) Treaty went into effect. This ensured that enough lifeboats where to be on board all ships along with other safety regulations and constant radio contact. This treaty has been revised 4 times since.
If you can't tell, I'm a tad bit obsessed with The Titanic. I have been since the news broke on September 1st or 2nd of 1985 when Dr. Robert Ballard discovered the wreck. It has fascinated me in ways I can't explain, it's just one of those things in life that you gravitate to. Though the opulence of the ship, the grandeur, is awe inspiring. Trans-Atlantic ships are a lost art and the Titanic was the peak of the art form.
I've seen most of the movies about the ship, have read a couple books and own several pictorial history ones. I was lucky enough to see "Titanic" before the national release in 1997. For me, it was never about the romance. It was about the ship and how the movie showed the most accurate sinking of the Titanic, at the time. New evidence has since come to light.
Every time I see the movie, I cry and cry hard. And usually never for the Jack/Rose love affair (it happens sometimes!) but more for those who died needlessly. To see how they suffered hits me hard. I can watch the sinking of the ship on YouTube and tear up. And this re-release of the movie in 3D has me a bit pissed. Reason is that I can't even go see it on the 100th Anniversary of the sinking because I can't watch 3D movies due to my eyes! A happy fanatic this does not make.
I'm a firm believer that the site of the wreck should be protected by an international mandate. The trash dumped there and taking of artifacts is paramount to graver robbery and desecration. If I had the money, prestige and fame, I'd back this movement full force. The Titanic disaster changed the world and it should be honored accordingly.
Another thing is that The Titanic symbolizes, in a microcosm, Human civilization. You have different classes of people with the top class wanting for nothing while riding on the backs of the lower classes. When disaster strikes, the top class has an unobstructed access to safety with little to no consideration of those "lower" than them. This doesn't change until a major disaster or catastrophe happens. And even then, most times it changes just enough to appease the masses. This has happened before, it will happen again until the masses make the cycle stop and create a new one where everyone is safe, regardless of class.
So, here it is 100 years later to the day. I remember and I'll never forget. The Ship of Dreams will live on as a lesson and a legend. To the survivors who've all since passed on, to those who didn't survive the night 100 years ago and to the RMS Titanic itself...may you all Rest In Peace.
Sunday, April 8, 2012
Coming Out
I'm not so much at a crossroads so much as I'm at a point where I can't not talk about aspects of me. And who this would be directed at is my Mother. Yes, she knows I'm gay (has since I was 12) and that I'm Pagan. Hell, she's well aware of my anger issues, amongst other issues I've inherited from my parents! They aren't to blame, entirely, for my frak ups. However, it's a great distraction at times.
*sips some Smirnoff Ice*
Anyway...digress is easy for me if you've not noticed.
So, what I think I gotta to is inform my dear loving Mother about my polyamorous life. Why? Because she's my mom and we talk about everything! So it's difficult for me to talk about The Hubby while leaving out The Collared One, who is just as important to me as The Hubby!
I'm a full believer in being open about who you are. The issue here is that I'm not sure how much more difference she can take from me. I'm the Black Sheep of the family in several ways. I'm gay, Pagan and a social liberal Independent. You see where I'm goin' with this? Add on my polyamorous side? Yeah...dilemma.
And it's not like I want both my guys over for a family function. I get how awkward for people that'd be. Took me a lot of work to get her where she is now in terms of acceptance and allowing even the simplest Public Display of Affection. Not saying she a raging homophobic or anything of the like. There was a time when she couldn't deal with the visual reminder. Now she's all good. But that took time and work.
Dropping a bomb like the fact that I got two men? UGH!
It's a dilemma. I want to be open but I don't want to put up with the way she'd come at it. Ya know, motherly "advice" (criticism). I get that about the apartment I live in (another story).
I'll get there, maybe. Yeah...I think I will. I'm in love with two guys and I don't see why I should hide that from the most important person in my life! I'm happy, we're happy and that's what matters. I'd like to think she'd be happy for me too.
*sips some Smirnoff Ice*
Anyway...digress is easy for me if you've not noticed.
So, what I think I gotta to is inform my dear loving Mother about my polyamorous life. Why? Because she's my mom and we talk about everything! So it's difficult for me to talk about The Hubby while leaving out The Collared One, who is just as important to me as The Hubby!
I'm a full believer in being open about who you are. The issue here is that I'm not sure how much more difference she can take from me. I'm the Black Sheep of the family in several ways. I'm gay, Pagan and a social liberal Independent. You see where I'm goin' with this? Add on my polyamorous side? Yeah...dilemma.
And it's not like I want both my guys over for a family function. I get how awkward for people that'd be. Took me a lot of work to get her where she is now in terms of acceptance and allowing even the simplest Public Display of Affection. Not saying she a raging homophobic or anything of the like. There was a time when she couldn't deal with the visual reminder. Now she's all good. But that took time and work.
Dropping a bomb like the fact that I got two men? UGH!
It's a dilemma. I want to be open but I don't want to put up with the way she'd come at it. Ya know, motherly "advice" (criticism). I get that about the apartment I live in (another story).
I'll get there, maybe. Yeah...I think I will. I'm in love with two guys and I don't see why I should hide that from the most important person in my life! I'm happy, we're happy and that's what matters. I'd like to think she'd be happy for me too.
Friday, April 6, 2012
Святой гребаный Иисуса Христа на палке!
HOLY FUCKING CHICKEN SOUP OF BLOODY CONDOM JUICE! What a week...thank the Gods it's OVER!!!!
Not that it sucked majorly, it was just hard to get through. Been recovering from last weekend...up late and didn't recovered from that drek...when did I get old? UGH!
Time to indulge in my wacky tabacky brownie...
Not that it sucked majorly, it was just hard to get through. Been recovering from last weekend...up late and didn't recovered from that drek...when did I get old? UGH!
Time to indulge in my wacky tabacky brownie...
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