Lyrics from The B-52s!

See the fool who mimics the sun
Burning out like a quasar--pulsing
Your lunar laugh and smokey dreams
Bare your soul and take control
While the spaced out space chick
Keeps the cosmic beat
Fields of poppies blind for sunshine
Burning paths of fluid joy
Bare your soul and take control
If the wolves are howling outside your door
Invite them in and make them beg for more
While the day-glo daffodils
Are pushing violent from the earth

It's open season on new ideas, they call it bad influence! You think I'm bad, well I'm the most fun that you ever had. So good, but people say I'm a bad influence. Wide mouths with narrow minds that can't accept your difference so they call it bad influence. Break out of the mold before the mold sets in, dangerous walls are closin' in. They twist the truth then give it a spin, callin' it bad influence!

What? So it's not my normal blog post. Frak off, this is my blog and I'll do what I want! Mwa-hahaha

Later...

Ant Hill Mountain

My recent blog post has caused exactly what I thought it would. To call out a spade for being a spade, the person I blogged about is the twin of my Hubby. He cut off my Hubby for 10 years because he thinks I owe him an apology for making a comment, in August of 2009 on my long dead MySpace blog, about how I though it would be hot to be with twins. This was after The Hubby had been contacted by his twin after 30 years of separation. Innocent enough, so I thought.

Well apparently The Twin thinks differently. Here's the thing, I'd apologize wholeheartedly if it was truly an issue. Here's why I think this...it's been over 2 years! Why is this such an issue now? Why didn't you ask for an apology in September of 2009 when you came for a weekend visit or at Thanksgiving of the same year? I think it's because he wants to use an issue with me to control The Hubby and/or get me irate to play me off as unstable to then use me to get The Hubby to do what he wants. I say this because of some comments he left me for my previous post but more so because he demanded an apology from me so much that when I said no (for the moment, I felt that he should speak to me directly about it first and made that clear), he de-friended and blocked The Hubby on Facebook directly after saying he'll not speak to him until October of 2021. Yeah, totally broke off that line of communication, but all lines of it because he can't speak to me about an issue that he's had ample opportunity to do so. He wants the apology in writing and officially stamped! Yeah, not playing that game. More so to the point of if I do this now, what demands will be made of me later? And it wasn't that big an issue, he made it one. This stupidity has spiraled out of control and he lays the blame at my feet!

Example? Here:
Thanks to you , I will never ever talk , see , or visit my Twin Brother for the rest of His natural life . Thank you for killing off dead any possible relationship I will ever have with him . I hate you with the coldest furies of hell . Timothy is dead to me now .
Thank you . You Shitfuckcunt, I hope you are happy now .

You wanted a " Hater " , so i gave you a "Hater" .
Why is it i play your game way better then you do ? You Blog this as Theraputic Catharsim .
I AM older then you , smarter then you , sneakyer then you , a WAY better actor , And Evil . I will hurt you , and you will love me for it .
The Twin played his role perfectly . Hat's off to the Twin . Well done .
Erick , you have just been "Played" . Yes , you believed everything I Im'ed The Twin , because he believed it , thus convinced you .
And you fell for it.
You are a duesche .
If you believe everything I ever said about Hateing you and everthing I convinced you to believe , it shows you are VERY weak minded .
You want drama , i gave you drama. You are welcome .
The joke is on you for not questioning everthing .

Lesson is , there is no such thing as truth . If The Twin used the 4 principles i taught him , my sharade would have never passed the smell test .

People make people believe things and make them have an emotional response , forceing a specific action to get a specific resault.

Thus I played you .

You are easy .

You have just been Snark Bitten you Shitfuckcunt ...

Call me Sat afternoon and I will tell you how I pulled this off .

Best way to convince someone of a lie is to believe in your own shit , and not betray that belief , untill the operation id over ... And this lesson is over .

Glad to provide "Enrichment" and material for your blog you ideot ...

Maybe I can make this easy and clear , after some careful thought , I do love my brother very much .I promiss not to talk about you to him . I just want a relationship with my brother, not with you . I dont know you , if you can understand , and I would like some privacy with him . I feel , in my time I am getting reaquainted with him , that you are impossing ( superimposing ) yourself between us , and that confuses me greatly . I will respect you and your relationship with your Hubby , just let me have my relationship with my brother , without your intefearing between us . I dont have a relationship with the sisters boyfriend , so I dont see why i need to have to prove myself to you . I really dont hate you , except to play the role of "hater" for your blog , and your welcome for it . I just want to get to know and love my brother without you getting between us . I dont interfear with you and your biological family , i have no reason to , nor the time to do that , nor reason to do so ,or motive even , so please respect me by not interfearing with mine please . I.E. , the brother .

Ill meet you there , maybe that is why im mean to you and trying to separate the Bother Element , from the your Husband Element , it confuses me for the time being .

When the brother and I have sufficiently bonded when he feels he comprehends and understands me first , i might let you in after , i feel you are forceing and presureing us by being paranoid and protective . You dont need to do that .

I will respect you , just respect my wishes in return . And a note , I dont use the phone hardly at all , and when I feel wierd , i dont talk to anybody one the phone , its not you .



So I'm gonna break this down a bit...
First and foremost, blaming me because you wanted to play games isn't how people deal with situations. Hate for me is like water on my back, it rolls right off. I just don't care, sorry to disappoint. As far as wanting a hater? I never wanted that, I don't like people (in general) enough to care, but when someone stalks me and leaves comments under multiple names, then I take notice and will start talking about it. Like now! I mean, dude, come on! What wool over my eyes did you try and pull when it was so transparent? Hell, you could be playing a game now to get an apology from me or to get your jollies or to keep me playing a guessing game. I question everything everyone does or says. Trust no one, that's how I live my life.

As for playing my game (which one?) better than me, being smarter (maybe, depends on the subject) than me more evil (doubt it) than me or sneakier (again, maybe) than me? Kind sir, every blog about a hater or stalker that had you in mind was carefully crafted to suit the game you tried to pull on me. You can't bulldrek a bulldrekker, one of the few good lessons I ever got from my Father. I treat people how they treat me, Prime Directive of Erick. I can read people pretty well and usually have them categorized within a few minutes. As for believing everything you've IM'd both The Hubby and I? Sure, consistency can breed belief. But everything from you has been taken with more than a few grains of salt. I took all you've ever said and asked for more because I wanted to see how far you could take it and how much drek you could spout and if you'd run out. Congrats! It's gone too far, you can spout a lot and you are bottomless.
I wrote about you and what you wrote in the hope of you coming clean about it so then you, I and The Hubby could move past it. But then it didn't happen and the snowball became an avalanche. So fault is there for me to a point, I'll give you that. However, it's gotten to the here and now where you've cut off your brother due to your blame of me and your view of me and your admitted hate of me.
While I don't have patience in large abundance, I can use what I have. And also, admitting you played both of us, or attempted to, says plenty about what you think of us. Frankly, for me I could care less. However, to do so to your own twin? That's totally uncalled for. What that tells me is that you have no respect or care for him if you are willing to treat him as a tool to get to me in one form or another because you want to play a game and whatnot.

And I loathe drama. It killed a 13 year friendship and has wrecked plenty of good times in my life. Sure, I've let my anger lead me more than I should have most times, but that's no excuse either. If I want drama, I'll rent a movie or watch Project Runway. And my dear, if there's no such thing as truth, then why do you keep perpetuating that as if it where a truth? To go with that, why demand an apology if you say that you don't exist? If you don't exist than there's nothing to apologize for because you aren't real. Imaginary things can't be hurt or insulted or make demands. Just my opinion.

Frankly, if I am imposing or have imposed, than I offer my apologies. That was never an intent of mine. What you must understand is how hard I fought to find you FOR him. He missed you and I could see how not having you in his life hurt him. Then, magickally (thank you Facebook!), you found him! I was, and am, full of relief and thrilled for the both of you! I've pushed The Hubby to try and have a relationship with his family and you, to get beyond the history that's there. Stuff that happened after you left. It is up to him, I know that. I'm afraid that he'll just let it slip away out of habit. So if I've pushed too much, or when and where I shouldn't have, then I am sorry. I believe that family is everything and that everyone deserves to know the joy that family can bring.
And as for trying to interfere and impose on me and my biological family? In all seriousness, that would be entertaining! No sarcasm meant or intended, it's just that I could see members of my family eating anyone trying to do that alive. You think I'm crazy? You ain't met the kinfolk! Trust me, meet them and all will be explained in regards to me!!

And sure, I feel you should prove yourself to me. Not for me or my personal approval or benefit but to make sure you won't hurt The Hubby. I've sworn to protect him and do so impeccably. He's been hurt enough in his life that I want to ensure that it stops at me and not in his face or at the point of stomping on his heart. I love him beyond words so I want to keep him safe and happy. I owe it to him.
You want me out of the way? Fine, I'll do it. But to torture and abuse (perceived) him by playing games in regards to me or playing people for amusement is where I draw the line and will interfere for his benefit. As I've said before, got an issue with me? Bring it to me and my doorstep. That builds respect, general and mutual, between people. I am and have been willing to be on a cool and understanding level with you. While you don't think that you should have a relationship with me, I can't say that that's how things tend to work. OK, you don't have a relationship with your sisters' man. But I have a relationship with her and her kids. We hit it off well the first time we met. I've kinda held out hope that the same thing could have happened between us. But that seems to not be the case and so be it.

So the deal is that we got issues and beef with the other. Cool, it happens. I'll step back if you get back in touch with your brother. He doesn't deserve the perceived abuse that's being unleashed on him. Once communication between the two of you is back open, I'm out. If that's what you really want, cool, I'll consent.

The frakking bulldrek as of late

OK, so Zen space and all is great for me, but I gotta get some goovna off my chest!

First and foremost is to you Fair Weather Christians who only use your "beliefs" when it suits you or your arguments. I was privy to a conversation/debate on politics a couple weekends ago. One of the people has a history of using Jesus, God and their religion to back up their political points. When countered by the opposing person with the same tactic, they (rather predictably when I look back at it all) said that it was besides the point! At the time, I was in shock over it. I do not understand how "God fearing" Christians can sit and spout crap about Jesus in relation to politics yet can not take the same frakkin' way they dish it! You are a Fair Weather Christian when you do that! You are not a follower of Jesus! Jesus was the original Socialist and hippie, but Gods forbid any "God fearing" Christian ever follow the rules of caring for the sick, give your money to the poor and help others without putting yourself first! Hell, if going by rules, I'm more of a Christian than most examples of modern Christians! And I'm a frakking Pagan!!!
Next time I have to listen to the blathering blatherskite of this hypocrite, I'm gonna have to point this out. I can't stand people who use their "Lord and Savior" as a tool for their own hate and fear. Either follow the teachings of Jesus all the way or not at all, it isn't a pick and choose situation!


Next is to the frakking goovnayuk mandavoshka who had the nerve to tell me I am racist cuz I call people "ghetto" and am White! First off, you as a Latin do not have the right to sit there and tell me I'm racist towards Black people if I use that word to describe a set of behaviors, attitudes/mindsets and/or actions that is prevalent in the Black Community. It isn't racist, cuz let's fact it, I'm "ghetto" to a point. "Ghetto-lite" as it where. Being "ghetto" isn't localized to a color of skin, community or culture. It's a set of behaviors, attitudes/mindsets and/or actions that has been adopted world wide because it's been glorified! "Ghetto" may be a place, but it is also a term to describe how some people act. Learn that, deal with it.
You don't like it? Fine, that's you. But do not sit your PC, nose-in-the-air ass in front of a computer and tell me I'm racist because I call someone "ghetto". Hell, I was pissed at people for being irate at 'Transformers: Revenge of The Fallen' due to The Twins and how they acted. If you don't like the glorified "ghetto-ness" being parodied, then maybe you shouldn't glorify such behavior. Just my opinion. Frakkin' deal with it you shitfuckcunts.
And I loathe the Race Card being pulled. People who do that have no other way to argue with you so they label you a racist to shut you up. I don't do down in a fight like that. Either learn how to argue your point or just SHUT THE FRAK UP!


And that brings me to a subject I've actually avoided talking about...kinda. This ties in with former posts about haters. Look, from August 2010 til about June of this year (2011) I had one hazmana of a personal trial to get through. I spoke of former friends and family issues. But here lately, thanks in part to Zen Space, I've come to forgive the former friends. I think of them everyday and miss them. Thirteen years worth of a friendship will do that. But I've gotten myself to the point that I forgive them. It doesn't mean I wanna be around 'em, but I can let go of the drama they caused. It's their Karma to deal with at some point and I'm fine with that.
As far as my paternal family? I ain't there yet. Getting there, but it's gonna take a while. More so because I think that not calling me about my Grandmother passing was unforgivable. And mind you, this was on top of them not telling me that my Great-Grandmother had passed either! Yet, I do need to forgive them. For me, not them.

Finally, there's the touchy subject of a stalker/hater of mine. This coward is the best entertainment ever! Not only can this person not even speak to me like a mature person, but has the nerve to go to someone and complain about me, things I've supposedly done or not done and demand apologies from me for drek I was unaware of!
I will not apologize for anything I've supposedly done, or not done, until you have the backbone to come and speak to me like a mature member of society! No going through someone who you know will tell me about it, or let me read the IM's. I know you read this and I know what gets said about me. So here it is, your chance. I'm bringing my game, what about you? And let me kindly remind you that I have made attempts to have a dialogue with you. Oh, you don't remember or think so? How about I publish the e-mails? Or recount the talks we did have before you, yes you, de-friended me on Facebook (twice) and blocked/banned me recently.
I've made attempts, in a very civil manner I might add, to have some sort of understanding with you. However, you do not want it to happen. You've attempted to break-up me and my Hubby, have accused me of abusing him on multiple occasions while claiming I'm suicidal and depressed beyond reason and also that I hold him back on a professional level. I find it sad, yet funny, that you assume a great deal about me without talking with me. Not to me or at me or around me, but with me.
You don't know me and I really don't know you. However, considering the person we have in common, I'm am willing to come to an understanding. Not for you, me or us. But for him. If your not, then I'm sorry. I'm sorry what your actions and inactions will do to your relationship with the common person in our lives. I'm sorry that I'd rather stay in St. Louis than move across half the country for a job I'd be stressed out and worrying about how you'd sabotage me and my job stability. It wouldn't be worth it. And it wouldn't be worth leaving the stability I have now. Rose tinted future be damned, I'll take cold and hard and suck ass reality any day over the torment, plotting, scheming and horror you'd provide.
And I fully realize that posting about you is possibly falling right into your wants, desires and plans. I understand how you use this blog of mine against me to paint me in a bad light when, at the same time, you do not seek out a dialogue with me about it to understand me and why I write what I do. I accept the consequences of my actions and inactions. I accept that by doing this, you may use it as a tool to blackmail/hurt/manipulate the common person in our lives to do whatever it is you want. I doubt it'll work, but you're welcome to try.
But I forgive you. And I mean that so much that I'm posting it in this blog for all the world to see. I forgive you for what you have done, are doing and will do. I forgive you and may you be blessed in all your endevors.