Implosion, explosion
Expansion, retreat
Run ahead, fall behind
Win some, lose some
Love one, hate the rest
Love none, hate all.
The haze sets in,
The fog flows behind.
Reality stolen,
Dreams defended.
Cities fall as oceans rise
Lives lost and end.
Hope rises to survive
As despair will set in and whine.
As The Pentacle guides
And it's crescent rises out of The Darkness,
The Divine extends a hand.
We grab it and ascend,
Above the dead
Above the ignorant
Above reality.
But still in love.
So mote it be
Monday, December 24, 2012
Survival Choice
Offered life, choose ignorance.
Given divinity, received limited mortality.
Incursions unfolding, shackles coupling.
Dreams fictitious as reality quickens.
Statues walk down our streets,
As shadows seize our false dreams.
hazy vision while sensation does lessen.
A circle breaks as the cage rises.
Water ceases to flow
As the Fire grows.
Insurrection arrives and the resurrection survives.
Old Knowledge will return
Just as the illusion will burn.
Again we are offered immortality
And this time we must choose Divinity.
Given divinity, received limited mortality.
Incursions unfolding, shackles coupling.
Dreams fictitious as reality quickens.
Statues walk down our streets,
As shadows seize our false dreams.
hazy vision while sensation does lessen.
A circle breaks as the cage rises.
Water ceases to flow
As the Fire grows.
Insurrection arrives and the resurrection survives.
Old Knowledge will return
Just as the illusion will burn.
Again we are offered immortality
And this time we must choose Divinity.
Energies Unflowering
Born into bondage, sold into stupidity.
Raised to be blind, taught to be deaf.
A knock at the door of your mind,
But your teachings address it,
With deafening silence.
Then The Light comes to you,
Yet how you where raised
Greets it with its brilliant Darkness.
A life in seclusion, a mind degraded.
Eyes never seeing, ears never listening.
The heart never loving and a soul never understanding
The Majesty of Gaia.
Raised to be blind, taught to be deaf.
A knock at the door of your mind,
But your teachings address it,
With deafening silence.
Then The Light comes to you,
Yet how you where raised
Greets it with its brilliant Darkness.
A life in seclusion, a mind degraded.
Eyes never seeing, ears never listening.
The heart never loving and a soul never understanding
The Majesty of Gaia.
Blindness Dragging
You deviate through life,
Not wanting to see.
You soar into darkness,
Not wanting to love.
You accelerate past thought,
Not stopping your hate.
And you speed into the Arms of Death,
Not caring who you drag with you.
Not wanting to see.
You soar into darkness,
Not wanting to love.
You accelerate past thought,
Not stopping your hate.
And you speed into the Arms of Death,
Not caring who you drag with you.
Wordfall Love Question
May I die in your arms?
If not, then where?
May I worship your body?
If not, then what's my temple?
May I lose myself in your eyes?
If not, then how can I be found?
May I inhale you throughout the evening?
If not, who'll be my flower?
And may I touch your skin?
And if not, then who will be my canvass?
If not, then where?
May I worship your body?
If not, then what's my temple?
May I lose myself in your eyes?
If not, then how can I be found?
May I inhale you throughout the evening?
If not, who'll be my flower?
And may I touch your skin?
And if not, then who will be my canvass?
It's my responsitrannity
Far too often, this time of year is marked by the sheer stupidity of people. Not the materialistic assholes or the zealot atheist who does all they can to shove their view of your "fairy tale" religion/spirituality down your throat or even the crazy Christmas lover who comes out around Labor Day, skipping over Halloween and Thanksgiving. Who I'm referring to is the kin who don't accept or love a member of their own family because of who they are and how The Divine Multiverse made them.
That whole mindset saddens me since that person is telling everyone that they can't even open their heart, much less their mind, to the diversity of existence. Let's face it, the world is far stranger than you think and weirder than you can imagine. If you can't allow yourself to open yourself to that, then you waste a lot of energy trying to keep out what I call The Essence of The Divine.
And I feel it is my duty to give these unloved people the love that they deserve. If I don't, who will? All it takes is love from one person to make a difference, that's the point of it all! Love people for who they are. They aren't mistakes or trying to live a life to shock you or piss you off. They are who they are because that is how they where meant to be. The Mulitverse and The Divine don't make mistakes, everything and everyone is how they should be.
Fuck you if you think otherwise.
That whole mindset saddens me since that person is telling everyone that they can't even open their heart, much less their mind, to the diversity of existence. Let's face it, the world is far stranger than you think and weirder than you can imagine. If you can't allow yourself to open yourself to that, then you waste a lot of energy trying to keep out what I call The Essence of The Divine.
And I feel it is my duty to give these unloved people the love that they deserve. If I don't, who will? All it takes is love from one person to make a difference, that's the point of it all! Love people for who they are. They aren't mistakes or trying to live a life to shock you or piss you off. They are who they are because that is how they where meant to be. The Mulitverse and The Divine don't make mistakes, everything and everyone is how they should be.
Fuck you if you think otherwise.
Saturday, December 15, 2012
Connecticut Domestic Terrorist Event
WARNING! I am "going there" and taking you with me. Viewer discretion is advised.
**drags out soap box**
*drinks some water*
First and foremost, let me say that I am not shocked nor overtly appalled at the Domestic Terrorist event in Connecticut. Why? Because while this is horrendous and a massacre and a tragedy, it is one that is too often repeated in The United States. Often by troubled, bullied students. So don't get me wrong, it is a sickening and sad event. However, it is also one that happens with enough frequency within this country that I for one have grown a thick skin in reaction to it. In my opinion, that speaks more volumes on the subject than anything else.
Frankly, it is high time that we as United States citizens grow the frak up and have the conversation about real gun control and mental illness. And before you start pounding on your keyboards, understand something really important in the argument I am bringing: When I talk about gun control, it does NOT mean that I want to take away all guns within the boundaries of The United States. As a citizen of this country, I do believe in the right to bear arms as defined by The Second Amendment of The Bill of Rights of The United States Constitution, "to maintain a well regulated militia". What we have now is an unregulated population fueled by paranoia, fear of "the other" and a self-righteousness that is quite zealous and that is what I'm talking about and feel the need to stop.
And let's be real people, now is not the time to have the talk about gun control. Why? Because we should have had this talk years ago! When do you think it's time to talk about gun control? After we have put this kind of shooting behind us? Then it's already way too damn late for the talk. But yet, we still need to have it. We as a country and a society need to reexamine our views and beliefs in regards to guns. We also need to have the uncomfortable conversations about poverty, race, mental illness and sexism too because they are all intertwined with guns and violence. And let's face it, we Americans do love our violence but cower in fear of sex. That's a problem. We have no issue placing our children in front of violent games and shows, more than not so we don't have to interact with them due to time constraints or because we ourselves are so drugged up on some pill or another that we can't even regulate nor process our own emotions and thoughts.
And why do I bring up poverty? Because is this country, we continually associate that with People of Color because of views we where taught, what we see on the television and what The Mainstream Mass Media Whores keep vomiting on our screens. And those are the same people who love and revile in being the people who have to sensationalize this whole affair to get ratings and pander to the fear while reinforcing the intolerance, ignorance and intellectual illiteracy of the populace. Also, People of Color are more persecuted in The United States for various reason, mostly or partly due to poverty and the resulting views associated with it. However, when it comes to these mass shootings, it's seemingly always a White Male who is the perpetrator. And this is where sexism comes into place. Some men feel emasculated because of Women's Rights. Why? I wish I knew but I think it's completely based in fear. The fear that women will do to men what men have done to women for thousands of years. But that feeling and fear brings about a rage that causes some Caucasian men to snap and take it out on innocent people, such as we've seen repeatedly. Yet, no one wants to talk about it. It's far easier to sweep it under the rug and forget about it until the next time. Then it's repeat the cycle all over again. And I'm not saying male People of Color don't snap or are the ones who do mass shootings. It just seems that you don't see it as often.
And Mental Illness is a topic that has to be discussed. We want to ignore it yet it causes these types of episodes and actions due to it going untreated. Funding is cut again and again, but the same cunts who take the funding away go on the news and ask why this violence happens! Frankly, they caused it by cutting funding to the places that would have treated the people who need it and should be prosecuted just as harshly as the person wielding the weapon. Instead, they close de-funded facilities and these poor folks are thrown onto the streets and we've got to deal with their actions and the fallout from it all. Yet we all have the nerve to ask, "Why did this happen?"
To go along with poverty and race; if we want to have people on Welfare drug tested before receiving benefits, then those who want guns should have to have a Psychological Evaluation! Our gun laws in this country need to be rebuilt after the erosion brought on by the Lobbyists for The National Rifle Association! Why do you need an AK-47? Or any sort of Military or Para-Military grade weapon? I'm all for having a pistol, a non-automatic handgun, shotgun or hunting rifle. But something used to take out the walls of a building? WHY?! Are you making up for a small dick or something? Or do you have penis envy if you're a woman? Someone explain this to me.
Also, explain to me how we can have only 5% of the world's population, yet account for over half of the guns and 80% of gun related deaths compared to the 23 richest countries? Take a step back and think about this! Why do we even have to wonder why the rest of the world looks at us like we're a damned Insane Asylum? We're having more issues with who we want to legally issue Marriage Licenses to than we do about Gun Control and Safety! And you've got the pro-gun people thinking that outlawing guns won't stop gun violence yet most if not all of these people think that outlawing abortion will stop abortions. It makes me want to smack my head against the nearest brick wall.
*pauses to drink some more water*
The day before The Connecticut Tragedy, there was a man in China who went to a school with a knife and cut up anyone he came across. Yet not one person died. What does that say? I'm not trying to downplay either of these actions. However, a knife can cause serious, mortal damage. Yet no one in China died. There's a lesson to be drawn from that when compared to what happened in Connecticut.
At least I think so.
The United States of America needs to have The Gun Talk. Now, before the next mass shooting. And I'm not looking forward to it, but you and I know there will be one if we don't stand up and talk this over! I do not want to see The Second Amendment overturned. As I stated before, I do support The Second Amendment as it was ratified on December 15th, 1791, "A well regulated militia being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed." But mark my words, there will be another mass shooting. I hope that it won't be at a school. Hell, I hope it just won't happen, but it will so long as we keep ignoring the elephant AND the gorilla in the room.
But, if history is any guide, the people of this country will just ignore the problem in the hopes that it will go away and, yet again, be shocked at the violence when it happens yet again. And again the next time and so on and so on. And the rest of the world will shake its collective head in sheer amazement at our willingness to be blind to a problem that will only add to the direct downfall of The United States. We need to grow up, have these uncomfortable talks and be willing to grow and change to be able to survive and have a nation to hand to our future generations. However, that may just be too much to ask of a country too cattle-like to care. So long as something pops up that will divert the attention away from 'the ugly truth' and keep the masses content, fat, happy and enslaved in the sheer stupidity of shallowness then we will fail over and over again and wonder why.
I'm going to close this with two posts I put on my Facebook page in response to this whole mess, I think it should sum up this post fairly well, or add to it further.
1) Guns are not the problem. The people who use them are the problem. Add on laws that are too lax and open to interpretation and you get the mess we are seeing, yet again, about a school shooting. As a citizen of The United States, I believe in the Right to Bear Arms. However, there are some guns that SHOULD NOT be allowed to be sold or owned. Further more, what keeps me terrified is how The Second Amendment has gone from being used to support "a well REGULATED militia" to supporting an unregulated public. A gun is a tool that is continually misused. Yet we seemingly want nothing to do with changing our views on it and our tolerance for this kind of senseless and mindless violence.
2) Seriously, this shit in Connecticut is already get sensationalized?! One doesn't need to wonder why the Mainstream Mass Media Whores aren't liked; why Repuklicunts AND Demoncraps are seen as opportunistic, hypocritical cunts and why this country can be such a laughing stock at times.
My heart breaks for those families who lost people, especially the kids. But to have this whole thing turned into a circus for ratings and fear mongering infuriates me beyond belief! Times like this I truly feel one of the few sane people in an insane world.
**drags out soap box**
*drinks some water*
First and foremost, let me say that I am not shocked nor overtly appalled at the Domestic Terrorist event in Connecticut. Why? Because while this is horrendous and a massacre and a tragedy, it is one that is too often repeated in The United States. Often by troubled, bullied students. So don't get me wrong, it is a sickening and sad event. However, it is also one that happens with enough frequency within this country that I for one have grown a thick skin in reaction to it. In my opinion, that speaks more volumes on the subject than anything else.
Frankly, it is high time that we as United States citizens grow the frak up and have the conversation about real gun control and mental illness. And before you start pounding on your keyboards, understand something really important in the argument I am bringing: When I talk about gun control, it does NOT mean that I want to take away all guns within the boundaries of The United States. As a citizen of this country, I do believe in the right to bear arms as defined by The Second Amendment of The Bill of Rights of The United States Constitution, "to maintain a well regulated militia". What we have now is an unregulated population fueled by paranoia, fear of "the other" and a self-righteousness that is quite zealous and that is what I'm talking about and feel the need to stop.
And let's be real people, now is not the time to have the talk about gun control. Why? Because we should have had this talk years ago! When do you think it's time to talk about gun control? After we have put this kind of shooting behind us? Then it's already way too damn late for the talk. But yet, we still need to have it. We as a country and a society need to reexamine our views and beliefs in regards to guns. We also need to have the uncomfortable conversations about poverty, race, mental illness and sexism too because they are all intertwined with guns and violence. And let's face it, we Americans do love our violence but cower in fear of sex. That's a problem. We have no issue placing our children in front of violent games and shows, more than not so we don't have to interact with them due to time constraints or because we ourselves are so drugged up on some pill or another that we can't even regulate nor process our own emotions and thoughts.
And why do I bring up poverty? Because is this country, we continually associate that with People of Color because of views we where taught, what we see on the television and what The Mainstream Mass Media Whores keep vomiting on our screens. And those are the same people who love and revile in being the people who have to sensationalize this whole affair to get ratings and pander to the fear while reinforcing the intolerance, ignorance and intellectual illiteracy of the populace. Also, People of Color are more persecuted in The United States for various reason, mostly or partly due to poverty and the resulting views associated with it. However, when it comes to these mass shootings, it's seemingly always a White Male who is the perpetrator. And this is where sexism comes into place. Some men feel emasculated because of Women's Rights. Why? I wish I knew but I think it's completely based in fear. The fear that women will do to men what men have done to women for thousands of years. But that feeling and fear brings about a rage that causes some Caucasian men to snap and take it out on innocent people, such as we've seen repeatedly. Yet, no one wants to talk about it. It's far easier to sweep it under the rug and forget about it until the next time. Then it's repeat the cycle all over again. And I'm not saying male People of Color don't snap or are the ones who do mass shootings. It just seems that you don't see it as often.
And Mental Illness is a topic that has to be discussed. We want to ignore it yet it causes these types of episodes and actions due to it going untreated. Funding is cut again and again, but the same cunts who take the funding away go on the news and ask why this violence happens! Frankly, they caused it by cutting funding to the places that would have treated the people who need it and should be prosecuted just as harshly as the person wielding the weapon. Instead, they close de-funded facilities and these poor folks are thrown onto the streets and we've got to deal with their actions and the fallout from it all. Yet we all have the nerve to ask, "Why did this happen?"
To go along with poverty and race; if we want to have people on Welfare drug tested before receiving benefits, then those who want guns should have to have a Psychological Evaluation! Our gun laws in this country need to be rebuilt after the erosion brought on by the Lobbyists for The National Rifle Association! Why do you need an AK-47? Or any sort of Military or Para-Military grade weapon? I'm all for having a pistol, a non-automatic handgun, shotgun or hunting rifle. But something used to take out the walls of a building? WHY?! Are you making up for a small dick or something? Or do you have penis envy if you're a woman? Someone explain this to me.
Also, explain to me how we can have only 5% of the world's population, yet account for over half of the guns and 80% of gun related deaths compared to the 23 richest countries? Take a step back and think about this! Why do we even have to wonder why the rest of the world looks at us like we're a damned Insane Asylum? We're having more issues with who we want to legally issue Marriage Licenses to than we do about Gun Control and Safety! And you've got the pro-gun people thinking that outlawing guns won't stop gun violence yet most if not all of these people think that outlawing abortion will stop abortions. It makes me want to smack my head against the nearest brick wall.
*pauses to drink some more water*
The day before The Connecticut Tragedy, there was a man in China who went to a school with a knife and cut up anyone he came across. Yet not one person died. What does that say? I'm not trying to downplay either of these actions. However, a knife can cause serious, mortal damage. Yet no one in China died. There's a lesson to be drawn from that when compared to what happened in Connecticut.
At least I think so.
The United States of America needs to have The Gun Talk. Now, before the next mass shooting. And I'm not looking forward to it, but you and I know there will be one if we don't stand up and talk this over! I do not want to see The Second Amendment overturned. As I stated before, I do support The Second Amendment as it was ratified on December 15th, 1791, "A well regulated militia being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed." But mark my words, there will be another mass shooting. I hope that it won't be at a school. Hell, I hope it just won't happen, but it will so long as we keep ignoring the elephant AND the gorilla in the room.
But, if history is any guide, the people of this country will just ignore the problem in the hopes that it will go away and, yet again, be shocked at the violence when it happens yet again. And again the next time and so on and so on. And the rest of the world will shake its collective head in sheer amazement at our willingness to be blind to a problem that will only add to the direct downfall of The United States. We need to grow up, have these uncomfortable talks and be willing to grow and change to be able to survive and have a nation to hand to our future generations. However, that may just be too much to ask of a country too cattle-like to care. So long as something pops up that will divert the attention away from 'the ugly truth' and keep the masses content, fat, happy and enslaved in the sheer stupidity of shallowness then we will fail over and over again and wonder why.
I'm going to close this with two posts I put on my Facebook page in response to this whole mess, I think it should sum up this post fairly well, or add to it further.
1) Guns are not the problem. The people who use them are the problem. Add on laws that are too lax and open to interpretation and you get the mess we are seeing, yet again, about a school shooting. As a citizen of The United States, I believe in the Right to Bear Arms. However, there are some guns that SHOULD NOT be allowed to be sold or owned. Further more, what keeps me terrified is how The Second Amendment has gone from being used to support "a well REGULATED militia" to supporting an unregulated public. A gun is a tool that is continually misused. Yet we seemingly want nothing to do with changing our views on it and our tolerance for this kind of senseless and mindless violence.
2) Seriously, this shit in Connecticut is already get sensationalized?! One doesn't need to wonder why the Mainstream Mass Media Whores aren't liked; why Repuklicunts AND Demoncraps are seen as opportunistic, hypocritical cunts and why this country can be such a laughing stock at times.
My heart breaks for those families who lost people, especially the kids. But to have this whole thing turned into a circus for ratings and fear mongering infuriates me beyond belief! Times like this I truly feel one of the few sane people in an insane world.
Monday, December 10, 2012
2013 St. Louis PrideFest moving
Recently, The St. Louis LGBT Pride Committee decided to move St. Louis' LGBT Pride from Tower Grove Park in South St. Louis City to our Downtown area. I'm not pleased with the move. As a resident of the area that Pride directly affects/effect financially, I feel as if the move slaps the area in the face after nearly 15 years of loyalty and open arms. No communication was given, just the announcement.
My concerns come from the amount of money generated in the 2 days of Pride and how that may hurt the South Grand Business District. Also, the argument from Pride supporters of how Tower Grove Park, a privately owned park, allegedly raised rates, won't allow tent and booths on the grass and no stakes of any kind are allowed. Now, as a privately owned park and not part of the public system, I can see how the funds may not be there for the amount of grounds keeping it would need after an event that draws about 80,000 people. I get that.
However, I can't support this argument when two other events use stakes. The Pagan Picnic uses stakes to mark off its Circle and other areas, if needed. And The Festival of Nations uses stakes while also having Scottish Games. This includes tossing logs 10-15 feet long and also throwing stones. This tears up the ground worse than stakes, so I can't see how The Stake Argument from Pride stands. But that's me. Also, I can't say anything about rates, I'm not part of that.
I'm really against the move due in large part that Pride is moving from a park, with green spaces and shade, to a downtown full of buildings with reflective glass and few green spaces/shaded areas. Add on to the fact that there are few, if any, alternatives to the over priced Pride Food Court and beverages, both alcohol and non-alcohol based. Other parts of this I'm against is the lack of communication from The Pride Board to the community at large, not just The LGBT Community. PrideFest moving affects/effects more than just us homosexuals.
Now, with my general disapproval of this move, I can't say that I'm as against it as I was just two days ago. I talked with a former Pride Board President, Rolf Rathmann, who was around for the Pride move from Forest Park/Central West End to Tower Grove Park/South Grand. He said all the same arguments are coming up and yet the Central West End didn't die, even though that weekend was a loss to the businesses the following year. He gave valid arguments about how this would help Downtown as much or more as it helped South Grand. And honestly, Downtown St. Louis needs help. It's not a 24-hour area, it's honesty open only on normal business hours, Monday through Friday.
I truly hope this move works, I do. And at first I wasn't going to go to support Pride. However, Rolf changed my mind. He talked of how Pride St. Louis reaches people from all the states that border Missouri and beyond. He said that if I wasn't there, what about the 16 year old gay boy from Middle-of-nowhere, Nebraska who's gay, fat and Pagan? Seeing me and my Husband may be the one thing he needs to make it and not kill himself. Or that just seeing that not all gay men are Ken Dolls may be enough for those at Pride and outside Pride to see that we come in all shapes, sizes and colors and religion.
I love Rolf. He annoys me when he's right, but he has never steered me wrong. I've stood by him when he went through a dark time in his life and did 5 years for it. He's the first out gay man I've ever known and we met when I was a scared 16 year old calling the former GLBT St. Louis Hotline. After 17 years, he's like family to me, I love him very deeply. I love him like family. So this post is his fault...in a good way.
I really wish that The Pride Committee did a better job communicating before they act instead of after. I hope that this won't be a disaster as The Fence Debacle was, when pride felt is was a good idea to fence in PrideFest a few years ago. That was such a disaster and I can freely admit that that whole mess still colors my view of Pride. However, I'm going to give this a try and see. Yet, I'm also a 33 year old gay man who's not into the bar scene anymore and PrideFest seems just like a big bar/dance party/hook-up scene to me. I'm over the whole corporation backing of Pride and wish we had more of a issues based event that people would be just as hyped for as they are for a one weekend only party.
So I'm going to let this go where it may. I hope the best to Pride and all who go. Maybe the protests and those who have gone to the monthly Pride meeting will change how St. Louis Pride, Inc. will interact with the community it serves.
My concerns come from the amount of money generated in the 2 days of Pride and how that may hurt the South Grand Business District. Also, the argument from Pride supporters of how Tower Grove Park, a privately owned park, allegedly raised rates, won't allow tent and booths on the grass and no stakes of any kind are allowed. Now, as a privately owned park and not part of the public system, I can see how the funds may not be there for the amount of grounds keeping it would need after an event that draws about 80,000 people. I get that.
However, I can't support this argument when two other events use stakes. The Pagan Picnic uses stakes to mark off its Circle and other areas, if needed. And The Festival of Nations uses stakes while also having Scottish Games. This includes tossing logs 10-15 feet long and also throwing stones. This tears up the ground worse than stakes, so I can't see how The Stake Argument from Pride stands. But that's me. Also, I can't say anything about rates, I'm not part of that.
I'm really against the move due in large part that Pride is moving from a park, with green spaces and shade, to a downtown full of buildings with reflective glass and few green spaces/shaded areas. Add on to the fact that there are few, if any, alternatives to the over priced Pride Food Court and beverages, both alcohol and non-alcohol based. Other parts of this I'm against is the lack of communication from The Pride Board to the community at large, not just The LGBT Community. PrideFest moving affects/effects more than just us homosexuals.
Now, with my general disapproval of this move, I can't say that I'm as against it as I was just two days ago. I talked with a former Pride Board President, Rolf Rathmann, who was around for the Pride move from Forest Park/Central West End to Tower Grove Park/South Grand. He said all the same arguments are coming up and yet the Central West End didn't die, even though that weekend was a loss to the businesses the following year. He gave valid arguments about how this would help Downtown as much or more as it helped South Grand. And honestly, Downtown St. Louis needs help. It's not a 24-hour area, it's honesty open only on normal business hours, Monday through Friday.
I truly hope this move works, I do. And at first I wasn't going to go to support Pride. However, Rolf changed my mind. He talked of how Pride St. Louis reaches people from all the states that border Missouri and beyond. He said that if I wasn't there, what about the 16 year old gay boy from Middle-of-nowhere, Nebraska who's gay, fat and Pagan? Seeing me and my Husband may be the one thing he needs to make it and not kill himself. Or that just seeing that not all gay men are Ken Dolls may be enough for those at Pride and outside Pride to see that we come in all shapes, sizes and colors and religion.
I love Rolf. He annoys me when he's right, but he has never steered me wrong. I've stood by him when he went through a dark time in his life and did 5 years for it. He's the first out gay man I've ever known and we met when I was a scared 16 year old calling the former GLBT St. Louis Hotline. After 17 years, he's like family to me, I love him very deeply. I love him like family. So this post is his fault...in a good way.
I really wish that The Pride Committee did a better job communicating before they act instead of after. I hope that this won't be a disaster as The Fence Debacle was, when pride felt is was a good idea to fence in PrideFest a few years ago. That was such a disaster and I can freely admit that that whole mess still colors my view of Pride. However, I'm going to give this a try and see. Yet, I'm also a 33 year old gay man who's not into the bar scene anymore and PrideFest seems just like a big bar/dance party/hook-up scene to me. I'm over the whole corporation backing of Pride and wish we had more of a issues based event that people would be just as hyped for as they are for a one weekend only party.
So I'm going to let this go where it may. I hope the best to Pride and all who go. Maybe the protests and those who have gone to the monthly Pride meeting will change how St. Louis Pride, Inc. will interact with the community it serves.
Sunday, December 9, 2012
2012 in review, eat it bitches!/2012 году в обзоре, съесть его суки!
I know I said I'd post some more poems, but work has gotten in the way. They'll be up so don't worry.
But even then, I'd like to talk about 2012. End of the world? Who cares, I'm gonna post before the 31st any damn way. These words are me and I feel the need to get them out since they may help someone else.
This year hasn't been my best but then it has at the same time. I've grown and changed for the better and even got past some huge issues. That helped a lot. And all they where was forgiving the person(s) who did me wrong. And it ain't about forgiving them for them but for me. I couldn't let them, or anyone else, have power over me. I can't keep giving people power so freely. So that was a huge change of pace for me this year. And I mean huge cuz I was (and still am a bit) easy to let people control me through my anger. It's my atmosphere to change and from now on I'm my own damn meteorologist!
Also, I'm still working on not letting the opinions of others mess with me. And that's all they are, opinions of other. Not mine. People throw dirt at you and on you from the day you born til the day you put in the ground, so let it be what it's gonna be. It ain't what you called, it's what you answer to. And hell, for every finger pointed at you, there's three pointed back at the person doing the damn pointing.
I'm also getting better at dealing with missing the friends I've lost. It's not easy and the depression of the loss still keeps me from going out and that isn't fair to those who are still in my life. 2013 is gonna be the change of that particular mindset. I'm still dealing with the losses of family too, but that's been a process in the works for some years and this year really sealed the deal on it.
I'm ready for change, it's good for me. I can only live this life for me and not for others who think they are experts on how I should live this life. Hell, it's mine to do with as I choose. I'm ready to choose the harder choices because they are worth it. Stuff and people that come in your life quick and easy leave the same damn way. When you work for you and your goals then those things and people stay. And fall down, it's alright, just get your butt back up. Like Latrice Royale said: "I want people to realize, that it's okay to make mistakes, it's okay to fall down. Get up, look sickening, and Make Them Eat It!"
I could go on and on but I won't. I'm finding that you can get more across with less than sitting here typing away and rambling and you getting tired of the same shit for 5 paragraphs. Trust me chil'ren, I'm starting to remember who I am and I'm gonna be fierce! You are what you know and it's time to kick it off! Got my power in my hands and y'all are gonna see it in my strut and my eyes and my smile and my demeanor.
So I'm gonna rock 2013 and I ain't gonna be a victim of what I don't know anymore! Time to take Life by the balls and to always remember these words from Miss Mary J. Blige:
Feelin' great since The Light is on me and I'm celebratin' the things that people told me would never happen. The Gods have put they hands on me and can't no one alive ever take it from me! Workin' with what I got, I gotta keep takin' care of myself, I'm gonna live strong. Never ashamed of what life did to me, was never afraid to change, it was good for me.
It's your responsitrannity, don't forget who you are
Yes, it's true, true for all of you, we are all star
-RuPaul
For those loyal readers in Mother Russia:
Для тех, лояльных читателей в матушке-России:
Я знаю, я сказал бы разместить еще несколько стихов, но работа получила в путь. Они будут так, не волнуйтесь.
Но даже тогда, я хотел бы поговорить о 2012 годе. Конец света? Кому интересно, я собираюсь сообщения до 31 любое проклятая путь. Эти слова меня, и я чувствую необходимость получить их, поскольку они могут помочь кому-то другому.
Этот год не был моим лучшим, но то он имеет в то же время. Я вырос и изменился в лучшую сторону и даже получил прошлом некоторые огромные проблемы. Это помогло. И все они, где был простить лица (лиц), которые сделали меня неправильно. И речь идет не о прощая их для них, но для меня. Я не мог позволить них, или кто-либо другой, есть власть надо мной. Я не могу дать людям власть так свободно. Так что было огромное изменение темпа для меня в этом году. И я имею в виду огромные Потому что я был (и остаюсь бит) легко позволить людям управлять мной через моего гнева. Это моя атмосфера изменить, и теперь я свой проклятый метеоролог!
Кроме того, я все еще работаю над не давая мнения других связывайтесь со мной. И все они, мнения других. Не мое. Люди бросают грязь на вас и на вас с того дня, вы родились сезам день вы положили в землю, пусть так и будет, что это будет. Это не то, что вы назвали, это то, что вы ответите на. И, черт побери, за каждый палец указал на вас, есть три назад указал на человека, который делает проклятый указывает.
Я тоже становится лучше на борьбу с отсутствующими друзей я потерял. Это не легко и депрессии потери по-прежнему удерживает меня от выхода и что это несправедливо по отношению к тем, кто еще в моей жизни. 2013 собирается быть изменения, что особенно мышления. Я до сих пор дело с потерями семья тоже, но это был процесс, в работах в течение нескольких лет и в этом году действительно опечатали сделки на нем.
Я готов к изменениям, это хорошо для меня. Я могу жить только этой жизни для меня и не для других, которые думают, что они являются экспертами о том, как я должен жить этой жизнью. Черт возьми, это мое отношение к, как я выбираю. Я готов выбрать сложнее выбор, потому что они стоят. Материал и люди, которые приходят в вашу жизнь быстро и легко оставить тот же проклятый путь. Когда вы работаете для вас и ваших целей, то эти вещи, и люди остаются. И падают, все в порядке, просто получить задницу обратно. Как Latrice Royale сказал: "Я хочу, чтобы люди поняли, что это нормально делать ошибки, это нормально падают Вставайте, посмотрите тошно, и заставить их съесть.!"
Я мог бы продолжать и продолжать, но не буду. Я нахожу, что вы можете получить больше сталкиваться с менее, чем сидеть здесь машинки и бессвязное, и вы устали от той же дерьмо на 5 пунктов. Поверьте мне chil'ren, я начинаю помнить, кто я и что я собираюсь быть жестокой! Вы то, что вы знаете, и настало время ударить его! Есть моя сила в руках и вы все собираетесь видеть это в моей стойке и мои глаза и моя улыбка и мое поведение.
Так что я собираюсь рок 2013 году и я не собираюсь быть жертвой того, что я уже не знаю! Время принимать жизнь за яйца и всегда помнить эти слова от Miss Mary J. Blige:
Feelin 'большим, так как Света на меня, и я celebratin "вещи, которые люди говорили мне, никогда не случится. Боги поставили они на меня руки и не может ни один живой когда-либо принять его от меня! Workin ', что я получил, я должен держать возьму заботиться о себе, я буду жить сильной. Никогда не стыдился того, что жизнь не для меня, никогда не боялся меняться, это было хорошо для меня.
Это ваша responsitrannity, не забывайте, кто вы есть
Да, это правда, верно и для всех вас, мы все звезды
-RuPaul
But even then, I'd like to talk about 2012. End of the world? Who cares, I'm gonna post before the 31st any damn way. These words are me and I feel the need to get them out since they may help someone else.
This year hasn't been my best but then it has at the same time. I've grown and changed for the better and even got past some huge issues. That helped a lot. And all they where was forgiving the person(s) who did me wrong. And it ain't about forgiving them for them but for me. I couldn't let them, or anyone else, have power over me. I can't keep giving people power so freely. So that was a huge change of pace for me this year. And I mean huge cuz I was (and still am a bit) easy to let people control me through my anger. It's my atmosphere to change and from now on I'm my own damn meteorologist!
Also, I'm still working on not letting the opinions of others mess with me. And that's all they are, opinions of other. Not mine. People throw dirt at you and on you from the day you born til the day you put in the ground, so let it be what it's gonna be. It ain't what you called, it's what you answer to. And hell, for every finger pointed at you, there's three pointed back at the person doing the damn pointing.
I'm also getting better at dealing with missing the friends I've lost. It's not easy and the depression of the loss still keeps me from going out and that isn't fair to those who are still in my life. 2013 is gonna be the change of that particular mindset. I'm still dealing with the losses of family too, but that's been a process in the works for some years and this year really sealed the deal on it.
I'm ready for change, it's good for me. I can only live this life for me and not for others who think they are experts on how I should live this life. Hell, it's mine to do with as I choose. I'm ready to choose the harder choices because they are worth it. Stuff and people that come in your life quick and easy leave the same damn way. When you work for you and your goals then those things and people stay. And fall down, it's alright, just get your butt back up. Like Latrice Royale said: "I want people to realize, that it's okay to make mistakes, it's okay to fall down. Get up, look sickening, and Make Them Eat It!"
I could go on and on but I won't. I'm finding that you can get more across with less than sitting here typing away and rambling and you getting tired of the same shit for 5 paragraphs. Trust me chil'ren, I'm starting to remember who I am and I'm gonna be fierce! You are what you know and it's time to kick it off! Got my power in my hands and y'all are gonna see it in my strut and my eyes and my smile and my demeanor.
So I'm gonna rock 2013 and I ain't gonna be a victim of what I don't know anymore! Time to take Life by the balls and to always remember these words from Miss Mary J. Blige:
Feelin' great since The Light is on me and I'm celebratin' the things that people told me would never happen. The Gods have put they hands on me and can't no one alive ever take it from me! Workin' with what I got, I gotta keep takin' care of myself, I'm gonna live strong. Never ashamed of what life did to me, was never afraid to change, it was good for me.
It's your responsitrannity, don't forget who you are
Yes, it's true, true for all of you, we are all star
-RuPaul
For those loyal readers in Mother Russia:
Для тех, лояльных читателей в матушке-России:
Я знаю, я сказал бы разместить еще несколько стихов, но работа получила в путь. Они будут так, не волнуйтесь.
Но даже тогда, я хотел бы поговорить о 2012 годе. Конец света? Кому интересно, я собираюсь сообщения до 31 любое проклятая путь. Эти слова меня, и я чувствую необходимость получить их, поскольку они могут помочь кому-то другому.
Этот год не был моим лучшим, но то он имеет в то же время. Я вырос и изменился в лучшую сторону и даже получил прошлом некоторые огромные проблемы. Это помогло. И все они, где был простить лица (лиц), которые сделали меня неправильно. И речь идет не о прощая их для них, но для меня. Я не мог позволить них, или кто-либо другой, есть власть надо мной. Я не могу дать людям власть так свободно. Так что было огромное изменение темпа для меня в этом году. И я имею в виду огромные Потому что я был (и остаюсь бит) легко позволить людям управлять мной через моего гнева. Это моя атмосфера изменить, и теперь я свой проклятый метеоролог!
Кроме того, я все еще работаю над не давая мнения других связывайтесь со мной. И все они, мнения других. Не мое. Люди бросают грязь на вас и на вас с того дня, вы родились сезам день вы положили в землю, пусть так и будет, что это будет. Это не то, что вы назвали, это то, что вы ответите на. И, черт побери, за каждый палец указал на вас, есть три назад указал на человека, который делает проклятый указывает.
Я тоже становится лучше на борьбу с отсутствующими друзей я потерял. Это не легко и депрессии потери по-прежнему удерживает меня от выхода и что это несправедливо по отношению к тем, кто еще в моей жизни. 2013 собирается быть изменения, что особенно мышления. Я до сих пор дело с потерями семья тоже, но это был процесс, в работах в течение нескольких лет и в этом году действительно опечатали сделки на нем.
Я готов к изменениям, это хорошо для меня. Я могу жить только этой жизни для меня и не для других, которые думают, что они являются экспертами о том, как я должен жить этой жизнью. Черт возьми, это мое отношение к, как я выбираю. Я готов выбрать сложнее выбор, потому что они стоят. Материал и люди, которые приходят в вашу жизнь быстро и легко оставить тот же проклятый путь. Когда вы работаете для вас и ваших целей, то эти вещи, и люди остаются. И падают, все в порядке, просто получить задницу обратно. Как Latrice Royale сказал: "Я хочу, чтобы люди поняли, что это нормально делать ошибки, это нормально падают Вставайте, посмотрите тошно, и заставить их съесть.!"
Я мог бы продолжать и продолжать, но не буду. Я нахожу, что вы можете получить больше сталкиваться с менее, чем сидеть здесь машинки и бессвязное, и вы устали от той же дерьмо на 5 пунктов. Поверьте мне chil'ren, я начинаю помнить, кто я и что я собираюсь быть жестокой! Вы то, что вы знаете, и настало время ударить его! Есть моя сила в руках и вы все собираетесь видеть это в моей стойке и мои глаза и моя улыбка и мое поведение.
Так что я собираюсь рок 2013 году и я не собираюсь быть жертвой того, что я уже не знаю! Время принимать жизнь за яйца и всегда помнить эти слова от Miss Mary J. Blige:
Feelin 'большим, так как Света на меня, и я celebratin "вещи, которые люди говорили мне, никогда не случится. Боги поставили они на меня руки и не может ни один живой когда-либо принять его от меня! Workin ', что я получил, я должен держать возьму заботиться о себе, я буду жить сильной. Никогда не стыдился того, что жизнь не для меня, никогда не боялся меняться, это было хорошо для меня.
Это ваша responsitrannity, не забывайте, кто вы есть
Да, это правда, верно и для всех вас, мы все звезды
-RuPaul
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