A point too far?

When you know someone you care about is hurting, how do you help? Is it right ti sit by when they seem to internalize it all? If you push to help, even a little bit, they shut down. How the hell can you be there when they won't let anyone in?

These thoughts go through my head all the time in regards to someone close to me. I want to help, to be there and help. But at the same time, sitting by doing nothing is said to be helping and being there but I feel like a failure in doing so. I do not need to be the hero in the lives of others, but I have the need to be a force of positivity. I want to help those I love and care about. Then, and I hate this, my mind races with all I think I've done wrong and  how I've failed and how I could be a better person and maybe that'll help the person(s) open up.
Look, I can internalize better than most, but I get how bad that is. I guess that's my drive.And when the person in question is someone I love very dearly, it tears me up even more. I feel hurt, lonely, depressed and a complete and utter failure. If I don't try and be there, then I get mad and angry at myself. Then it turns into a destructive force in other areas of my life.

I just wish I felt as if I where trusted by this person. I like to think I am and I have to remind myself as to how far they have internalized everything. But then I feel again and these emotions override my rationality. Like I've said, I feel too much and deeply. But it's part of who I am and what I am...so goes the struggle.