あなたが私に触れるとき、私はあなたがこの世界、銀河、空間と時間の外にしている内部ので、ほんの少し死ぬ！私は恋にいる時、私は最高のだから、あなたの真実を知るのに十分強いんだ、と私はあなたと恋にいるよ。
Когда ты прикасаешься ко мне я умру просто немного внутри, потому что вы не от мира сего, галактики, пространство и время! Я достаточно силен, чтобы знать правду о вас, потому что я лучше, когда я нахожусь в любви, и я в любви с вами.
當你觸摸我，我死了只是一個小裡面，因為你出了這個世界，星系，空間和時間！我很強大到足以知道你說實話，因為我最好的時候，我戀愛了，我愛上了你。
Όταν με αγγίζετε πεθάνω λίγο μέσα, επειδή είστε έξω από αυτόν τον κόσμο, γαλαξία, το χώρο και το χρόνο! Είμαι αρκετά ισχυρή για να γνωρίζουν την αλήθεια σας επειδή είμαι καλύτερα όταν είμαι στην αγάπη, και είμαι ερωτευμένος μαζί σου.
عندما كنت على اتصال لي أن أموت قليلا داخل لأنك للخروج من هذا العالم، المجرة، المكان والزمان! أنا قوية بما يكفي لمعرفة الحقيقة واحد منكم لأنني أفضل عندما أكون في الحب، وأنا في الحب معك.
तुम मुझे छूने जब मैं तुम्हें इस दुनिया, आकाशगंगा, अंतरिक्ष और समय से बाहर रहे हैं अंदर क्योंकि सिर्फ एक छोटे से मर जाते हैं! मुझे लगता है मैं प्यार में हूँ, जब मैं सबसे अच्छा कर रहा हूँ क्योंकि आप की सच्चाई का पता करने के लिए पर्याप्त मजबूत कर रहा हूँ, और मैं आप के साथ प्यार में हूँ।
Sunday, April 12, 2015
Tuesday, July 8, 2014
Why I'm against Same-Sex Marriage
Now, before I get going and y'all try to chase my fat ass down the road, please know that I am all for Marriage Equality. The title was sensational enough to get your attention. Nothing more, so no trying to cyberstalk me to insanity, I'm already there.
Now yes, I do want to marry my man. But not for the reasons I'm starting to notice in The LGBTQ Community. My guy and I want to marry because we love each other but mainly we want to marry for the legal protections that little piece of paper provides.
What worries me these days is that I see so many Same-Sex couples rushing down the isle, blindly so. That's not a good move. Marriage seems to be treated as a problem solver by most Hetero couples or something to do because they're "just so in love", not realizing what marriage really is all about. The difference with Same-Sex couples is that because there's this sporadic state-by-state legalization, marriage is being treated as a status symbol. A band wagon to join. And yet, how many of these couples are seriously researching the laws of the state they run to marry in?
What if, Gods forbid, they separate? One or both may have to move to said state for their Term of Residency to be eligible for a divorce. Hetero couples don't have to even think or consider that option! Or what about laws forbidding out-of-state couples to marry that aren't enforced on Hetero couples but they are on their Same-Sex counterparts? I really so wish I'd see more people taking the time to have all the ducks in a row before rushing off to say "I Do".
The other area of Marriage Equality is that it's killing dating. Since Marriage Equality is coming to more and more states, and we seem to be very near Federal/National status, everyone is on the hunt for a Spouse. This is what dating is for! To go and find someone you're really into and want to pursue is great and wonderful. However, to go and add the expectation that they're your "soon to be spouse" because you want to marry so badly and have that status? It's a stress that should never be put on someone.
You will eventually, and quickly, kill what could be an amazing relationship that could help move you towards that person or persons who will make you happier than you've ever known or imagined. And then what about the people you skip over because they're just looking to date while you're determined to find your "soon to be spouse"? Again, that is what dating is for: to weed out the people who couldn't cut it. Even if you date for a couple months and you're really into the person, it's better than pushing through all the warning signs and them marrying them because you want to ride the band wagon. Far too many people put lifetime expectations on people that they were only meant to be with for a season. In doing so, they never are happy due to this simple mistake. Relationships are work, hard work. To go into a complex and complicated scenario so blindly with another person is reckless to say the least.
And this brings us to a subject that adds to this whole topic for me while, I'm sure, making quite a few uncomfortable. If you noticed a few sentences back, I said "person or persons". Reason being is that I'm Polyamourous, I want/have/pursue multiple intimate/romantic relationships at once. My man is the same and we are perfectly happy with our choice to love and live freely. For us, Monogamy is over-rated and our opinion of it is that it isn't a natural Human state. However, so many don't believe in it or see it that way due to a heavily ingrained social programming from an Abrahamic/Monotheistic (Judea-Christian-Islamic) culture.
I bring all this up due to how much harder it is for Poly people to find our happiness. In a Monogamy based dating pool, Polyamoury is a heavy responsibility and at times, a burden. Cop out excuses of "you're in a relationship/just looking to date" have replaced the oldie but goodie of "If you lost weight, you'd be cuter and datable". And with the former excuse, it's tied into the idea of finding that "soon to be spouse" to marry while totally avoiding the well established mechanism we call dating.
Another area of being Poly in a Mono world is how we are called greedy for wanting more than one person and that we should be happy with what we have. I was taught to share and that sharing is caring. So if I share myself with someone who isn't my man with his blessings, then how is that bad? We aren't cheating, as many would think that we are.
So in all this, my opinion of Same-Sex Marriage has fallen, fast. Being a larger man was once a source of "you'll never find someone being the size you are". Now, it's "you're greedy and already in a relationship, so why would I want to play second to anyone?" That's such a complete misunderstanding and yet another cop out. You can't be second when no one is first! The one I get tossed at me is, "You're just looking to date and I want a Husband". Just like all the fat shaming talk, trying to shame me based on my Poly and relationship status is unwarranted. It's also a piss poor excuse.
Dating is a wonderful, magickal and beautiful experience. It helps keep the seasonal people out of lifetime expectations while letting you have the chance to let go and have fun. As a Poly, I'd never expect someone I'm with to be exclusive unless they've already made that choice themselves. If the guy, or guys, I'm dating want to leave because they found someone who they want to establish a long-term committed relationship with, I wouldn't keep them back from that. I may not practice Monogamy, but I wouldn't keep someone else from it.
I have loved multiple men at once and I will again. Communication between everyone is the key to the success. By loving more than one man at once, it never took away from the other. If anything, the experience enhanced the love that was there. Love is not about Monogamy or Polyamoury. It's bigger than that. Love is about putting the welfare and happiness of someone else ahead of you without expectation of reward or special treatment in return. And to do that with more than one other Human is more rewarding than I can ever hope to put words to.
So to tie all this together, Same-Sex Marriage isn't helping keep The LGBTQ Community unique. It forces us to assimilate and take this institution we've fought to be a part of and abuse it. By treating it as a status symbol and a band wagon to join, we lessen it, lessen our love and lessen our move towards Equality. We used to be a community and sub-culture that valued the unique, different and 'out of the box' ways of life. Now, we're just trying to Hetero-normalize and abandon what made us shine and made us amazing. In doing so, we invalidate those who came before us.
Love is beyond gender, sex, relationship status and any other label you can come up with to keep yourself from letting go. That act of letting go and giving it a try is what will move you to the next level, the next step towards a happiness that you can't even imagine. Date multiple people, love as many as you can. To deny based on cop out, lazy excuses just keeps you from chances at something amazing. And who knows what doors or opportunities would present themselves to you because of it. You may even find that "soon to be spouse" faster because of it. The one, or ones, who will make you fulfilled in ways that will make you wonder how you lived beforehand.
Now yes, I do want to marry my man. But not for the reasons I'm starting to notice in The LGBTQ Community. My guy and I want to marry because we love each other but mainly we want to marry for the legal protections that little piece of paper provides.
What worries me these days is that I see so many Same-Sex couples rushing down the isle, blindly so. That's not a good move. Marriage seems to be treated as a problem solver by most Hetero couples or something to do because they're "just so in love", not realizing what marriage really is all about. The difference with Same-Sex couples is that because there's this sporadic state-by-state legalization, marriage is being treated as a status symbol. A band wagon to join. And yet, how many of these couples are seriously researching the laws of the state they run to marry in?
What if, Gods forbid, they separate? One or both may have to move to said state for their Term of Residency to be eligible for a divorce. Hetero couples don't have to even think or consider that option! Or what about laws forbidding out-of-state couples to marry that aren't enforced on Hetero couples but they are on their Same-Sex counterparts? I really so wish I'd see more people taking the time to have all the ducks in a row before rushing off to say "I Do".
The other area of Marriage Equality is that it's killing dating. Since Marriage Equality is coming to more and more states, and we seem to be very near Federal/National status, everyone is on the hunt for a Spouse. This is what dating is for! To go and find someone you're really into and want to pursue is great and wonderful. However, to go and add the expectation that they're your "soon to be spouse" because you want to marry so badly and have that status? It's a stress that should never be put on someone.
You will eventually, and quickly, kill what could be an amazing relationship that could help move you towards that person or persons who will make you happier than you've ever known or imagined. And then what about the people you skip over because they're just looking to date while you're determined to find your "soon to be spouse"? Again, that is what dating is for: to weed out the people who couldn't cut it. Even if you date for a couple months and you're really into the person, it's better than pushing through all the warning signs and them marrying them because you want to ride the band wagon. Far too many people put lifetime expectations on people that they were only meant to be with for a season. In doing so, they never are happy due to this simple mistake. Relationships are work, hard work. To go into a complex and complicated scenario so blindly with another person is reckless to say the least.
And this brings us to a subject that adds to this whole topic for me while, I'm sure, making quite a few uncomfortable. If you noticed a few sentences back, I said "person or persons". Reason being is that I'm Polyamourous, I want/have/pursue multiple intimate/romantic relationships at once. My man is the same and we are perfectly happy with our choice to love and live freely. For us, Monogamy is over-rated and our opinion of it is that it isn't a natural Human state. However, so many don't believe in it or see it that way due to a heavily ingrained social programming from an Abrahamic/Monotheistic (Judea-Christian-Islamic) culture.
I bring all this up due to how much harder it is for Poly people to find our happiness. In a Monogamy based dating pool, Polyamoury is a heavy responsibility and at times, a burden. Cop out excuses of "you're in a relationship/just looking to date" have replaced the oldie but goodie of "If you lost weight, you'd be cuter and datable". And with the former excuse, it's tied into the idea of finding that "soon to be spouse" to marry while totally avoiding the well established mechanism we call dating.
Another area of being Poly in a Mono world is how we are called greedy for wanting more than one person and that we should be happy with what we have. I was taught to share and that sharing is caring. So if I share myself with someone who isn't my man with his blessings, then how is that bad? We aren't cheating, as many would think that we are.
So in all this, my opinion of Same-Sex Marriage has fallen, fast. Being a larger man was once a source of "you'll never find someone being the size you are". Now, it's "you're greedy and already in a relationship, so why would I want to play second to anyone?" That's such a complete misunderstanding and yet another cop out. You can't be second when no one is first! The one I get tossed at me is, "You're just looking to date and I want a Husband". Just like all the fat shaming talk, trying to shame me based on my Poly and relationship status is unwarranted. It's also a piss poor excuse.
Dating is a wonderful, magickal and beautiful experience. It helps keep the seasonal people out of lifetime expectations while letting you have the chance to let go and have fun. As a Poly, I'd never expect someone I'm with to be exclusive unless they've already made that choice themselves. If the guy, or guys, I'm dating want to leave because they found someone who they want to establish a long-term committed relationship with, I wouldn't keep them back from that. I may not practice Monogamy, but I wouldn't keep someone else from it.
I have loved multiple men at once and I will again. Communication between everyone is the key to the success. By loving more than one man at once, it never took away from the other. If anything, the experience enhanced the love that was there. Love is not about Monogamy or Polyamoury. It's bigger than that. Love is about putting the welfare and happiness of someone else ahead of you without expectation of reward or special treatment in return. And to do that with more than one other Human is more rewarding than I can ever hope to put words to.
So to tie all this together, Same-Sex Marriage isn't helping keep The LGBTQ Community unique. It forces us to assimilate and take this institution we've fought to be a part of and abuse it. By treating it as a status symbol and a band wagon to join, we lessen it, lessen our love and lessen our move towards Equality. We used to be a community and sub-culture that valued the unique, different and 'out of the box' ways of life. Now, we're just trying to Hetero-normalize and abandon what made us shine and made us amazing. In doing so, we invalidate those who came before us.
Love is beyond gender, sex, relationship status and any other label you can come up with to keep yourself from letting go. That act of letting go and giving it a try is what will move you to the next level, the next step towards a happiness that you can't even imagine. Date multiple people, love as many as you can. To deny based on cop out, lazy excuses just keeps you from chances at something amazing. And who knows what doors or opportunities would present themselves to you because of it. You may even find that "soon to be spouse" faster because of it. The one, or ones, who will make you fulfilled in ways that will make you wonder how you lived beforehand.
Monday, June 30, 2014
Fuck you SCOTUS!
So The United States of America is no longer. We, The Lazy People have allowed it to rot into The Amerikan Corporatocracy Oligarchy Theological Fascist State, a.k.a The Amerikan Dominion. So, welcome to your new country, where women are brood mares for the state and anyone who isn't White, male, Heterosexual, Republican or Christian (state sponsored denomination to be announced soon, Jesus not included) is worthless and second class. While The Military Industrial Complex works towards World War 3.
We, The Lazy People of Amerika, have allowed ourselves to be dumbed down and distracted by "CeleBRATy Kulture", (un)Reality TV, fear and technology. Political Correctness has made controlling the masses easier and has given way to passive-aggressive bullying for those who don't comply into submission. Knee jerk reactions are respected while in-depth discussions are shunned. Education is a joke while Sports (provided it's Amerikan) are held to near religious zealotry standards.
The country I was taught to love, protect and defend is gone, I wonder if We The People can ever get it back. Or maybe it deserved to die since We The People no longer cared enough to care for it. I miss The United States and do not care for this Amerikcan Dominion that is slowly taking over. People may talk about how Russia is seemingly slowly following in the footsteps of post-World War 1 Germany, but I see Amerika following in the footsteps of The Roman Empire. If not a Second Revolution, then a Second Civil War is coming. The Amerikan Dominion can not surive nor be allowed to. If The United States is dead and gone, then it is us, We The People, who must either re-establish it or create a new country based on the ideals that our Founding Fathers fought for.
Either we all get involved and stop being sheep or we die. There's no grey area anymore.
We, The Lazy People of Amerika, have allowed ourselves to be dumbed down and distracted by "CeleBRATy Kulture", (un)Reality TV, fear and technology. Political Correctness has made controlling the masses easier and has given way to passive-aggressive bullying for those who don't comply into submission. Knee jerk reactions are respected while in-depth discussions are shunned. Education is a joke while Sports (provided it's Amerikan) are held to near religious zealotry standards.
The country I was taught to love, protect and defend is gone, I wonder if We The People can ever get it back. Or maybe it deserved to die since We The People no longer cared enough to care for it. I miss The United States and do not care for this Amerikcan Dominion that is slowly taking over. People may talk about how Russia is seemingly slowly following in the footsteps of post-World War 1 Germany, but I see Amerika following in the footsteps of The Roman Empire. If not a Second Revolution, then a Second Civil War is coming. The Amerikan Dominion can not surive nor be allowed to. If The United States is dead and gone, then it is us, We The People, who must either re-establish it or create a new country based on the ideals that our Founding Fathers fought for.
Either we all get involved and stop being sheep or we die. There's no grey area anymore.
Tuesday, March 25, 2014
Work what you got
Let em get mad, they gonna hate anyway, don't you get that?
Doesn't matter if you're going along with their plans,
They'll never be happy because they're not happy with themselves!
Feeling great because The Light is on me,
Celebrating the things that everyone told me.
Would never happen but The Gods have put they hands on me,
Ain't a person alive who could ever take it from me.
Working with what I got, I gotta keep on,
Taking care of myself, I wanna live strong.
Ain't never ashamed what life did to me,
And ain't afraid to change cause it's good for me.
I'm talking about things that I know
Doesn't matter if you're going along with their plans,
They'll never be happy because they're not happy with themselves!
Feeling great because The Light is on me,
Celebrating the things that everyone told me.
Would never happen but The Gods have put they hands on me,
Ain't a person alive who could ever take it from me.
Working with what I got, I gotta keep on,
Taking care of myself, I wanna live strong.
Ain't never ashamed what life did to me,
And ain't afraid to change cause it's good for me.
I'm talking about things that I know
Sunday, March 23, 2014
Open and Poly stress
So tonight on Growlr, a "hook up" app on Android, I got another annoying ass ending to a talk that just ends up with me fuming! Was chatting it up with this nice guy and he stated that he wished I wasn't in a relationship because I sound like I'd be fun to date. I told him that my relationship with my Husband is open and we're polyamorous and that dating me wasn't an issue.
He went on a decent rant about how he needs to be the "one and only" in a relationship. Whatever. No one is ever the "one and only" in any intimate/romantic relationship! If that was the case, why do men and women check people out while in relationships? Why do people go to strip clubs? You still look, you still lust. Just because you're dating someone doesn't end your natural curiosities. The benefit of being open and poly is that you can explore those curiosities in other people!
It's not like I expect to be The One a guy ends up with. I'm not that shallow, stupid or naive.To be fair to all involved, I would strive to treat the men in my life as equals. Don't misunderstand, my Hubby and I have been together 14 years and are stronger than ever. He's mine and I'm his. He is first when you look at time together and I'm sure that there would be some preferences in play. However, we recognize that monogamy doesn't work for us, especially him since he's Bisexual. I would treat any other man I'm with as an equal to my Hubby, as I would expect him to do to any girlfriend he has.
It's so damn frustrating and I wish I knew how to get this simple idea across to people! I don't get how people can be so limiting to themselves. If you want to find marriage, then stop looking! It'll find you! Hell, I wish someone could sit me down and tell me how they know, without a doubt and absolute certainty, that what they're looking for that they won't find that in me. There's got to be someone with a backbone strong enough to do so! How can someone know that what they're looking for isn't presented to them in a way that they never expected?! Why ignore it because it isn't what they expected or wanted?
I wanted someone to love so bad and I stopped looking and then in a few months, my Hubby fell in my lap. He isn't what I was looking for or even wanted back then. But he is what I needed and he's become everything that I never thought I wanted. If I didn't take a chance on someone who wasn't what I was looking for, look at what I could have missed! I have to wonder how many people do that, miss/skip over the one person who'll be the answer to the question that they've been asking for, just because they don't arrive in the package they'd hoped for. How much frustration and sadness could be avoided if more people took chances?
Don't even get me started on those who don't want to risk friendships. If your friendship is strong, it can survive a stab at dating. If not, your friendship wasn't as strong as you thought. Yes, dynamic will change, but come on people, this is what maturity is supposed to be about! Being able to handle adult situations like adults! I just don't get people, I really don't!
People want to love and be loved; to hold and be held. Yet whenever the chance/opportunity comes along, they ignore it due to fear or what is presented doesn't fit the image in their head or the situation that they've fantasized about. That's just madness and insanity to me! Time and again, The Universe tries to give you what you've asked for in a way that you need it, not the way you want it. Learn to see this!
I still just wanna slap the hell outta that guy on Growlr...
He went on a decent rant about how he needs to be the "one and only" in a relationship. Whatever. No one is ever the "one and only" in any intimate/romantic relationship! If that was the case, why do men and women check people out while in relationships? Why do people go to strip clubs? You still look, you still lust. Just because you're dating someone doesn't end your natural curiosities. The benefit of being open and poly is that you can explore those curiosities in other people!
It's not like I expect to be The One a guy ends up with. I'm not that shallow, stupid or naive.To be fair to all involved, I would strive to treat the men in my life as equals. Don't misunderstand, my Hubby and I have been together 14 years and are stronger than ever. He's mine and I'm his. He is first when you look at time together and I'm sure that there would be some preferences in play. However, we recognize that monogamy doesn't work for us, especially him since he's Bisexual. I would treat any other man I'm with as an equal to my Hubby, as I would expect him to do to any girlfriend he has.
It's so damn frustrating and I wish I knew how to get this simple idea across to people! I don't get how people can be so limiting to themselves. If you want to find marriage, then stop looking! It'll find you! Hell, I wish someone could sit me down and tell me how they know, without a doubt and absolute certainty, that what they're looking for that they won't find that in me. There's got to be someone with a backbone strong enough to do so! How can someone know that what they're looking for isn't presented to them in a way that they never expected?! Why ignore it because it isn't what they expected or wanted?
I wanted someone to love so bad and I stopped looking and then in a few months, my Hubby fell in my lap. He isn't what I was looking for or even wanted back then. But he is what I needed and he's become everything that I never thought I wanted. If I didn't take a chance on someone who wasn't what I was looking for, look at what I could have missed! I have to wonder how many people do that, miss/skip over the one person who'll be the answer to the question that they've been asking for, just because they don't arrive in the package they'd hoped for. How much frustration and sadness could be avoided if more people took chances?
Don't even get me started on those who don't want to risk friendships. If your friendship is strong, it can survive a stab at dating. If not, your friendship wasn't as strong as you thought. Yes, dynamic will change, but come on people, this is what maturity is supposed to be about! Being able to handle adult situations like adults! I just don't get people, I really don't!
People want to love and be loved; to hold and be held. Yet whenever the chance/opportunity comes along, they ignore it due to fear or what is presented doesn't fit the image in their head or the situation that they've fantasized about. That's just madness and insanity to me! Time and again, The Universe tries to give you what you've asked for in a way that you need it, not the way you want it. Learn to see this!
I still just wanna slap the hell outta that guy on Growlr...
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